


You never said goodbye

by TMCL_247



Series: Shoot family stories [12]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Friendship/Love, Other, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:06:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8819887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMCL_247/pseuds/TMCL_247
Summary: Root and Shaw are now settled into their new life and expectantly waiting for a new addition to their family to arrive.  As the birth draws nearer Shaw's past also returns to haunt her.  How will Shaw deal with all these new and conflicting emotions?





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

_\------- 'You never said goodbye to me'_

 

 

_Present, March 2017: Central Park, Belvedere Castle:_

 

“Aaaaah....” As the tiny lids of his eyes close and a happy squeal projects into the air lighting up the people around him. “Aaaaaah” he squeals again as he clenches his fists before unfurling his fingers trying to reach out for his Mom.

 

Lifting her small bundle of joy in the air, with his cute round hazel brown eyes, pink chubby cheeks and tiny round mouth, even with all the strength in the world Root couldn't suppress the grin emitting from her from deep within as she watches him giggle at her.

“Now Harry” as Root holds him up in his navy blue bonded all in one fleece suit, sporting a blue penguin fleece lined woolly hat with tassels and matching mitts, “when you grow up, you're going to buy Mommy a castle” as Root turns Harry around to look at the castle before back to facing her, “just like that one, OK?” Root smiles as Harry giggles again and sticks his tongue out at her. Chuckling Root continues to bounce Harry in her arms, bringing him close to kiss him on the head, then on the check. “Harry's so adorable, yes you are, yes you are.” Root continues to compliment as she tilts her head and showers him with even more kisses.

 

 

Standing in a haze, Shaw blinks slowly as time freezes everything around her and making everything stand still as she hones in on that familiar face. The contour of the lines by the side of her eyes, the corners of her mouth as she grins, how she smiles with her eyes, those playful tilts and pouts, the innuendos at the most bizarre moment, and just the sheer silliness when Root tries to capture her attention.

 

“Woof, woof” Bear barks in the short distance shaking Shaw from her stupor. Watching Root hold their son in the air, Harry squeals and wriggles as he stretches his mouth wide open and then shut again.

 

 

Surrounded by laughter and shouts, happy sounds file in all around the vast open grass space. A group of ultimate frisbee players take early advantage of, finally, the arrival of autumn as it makes it bearable to stay outside for longer periods of time. After another freezing cold frosty winter the long overdue warmer temperatures were much welcomed as more visitors were out and about taking advantage of the park again this weekend day.

 

 

That intoxicating smile again and the familiar laughter of her voice, all with the ability to make Shaw just, feel..... There were no loud and abrasive fireworks, no large obnoxious neon flashing signs, no dancing on the rooftops nor screaming at the top of her lungs so that the whole world would know it. There was just peace, within Shaw.

 

Giggling, Harry's eyes light up as he spots Shaw. Squealing, his eyes also widen as his arms reaches out for her.

 

Root puts on a sad face as she loses her son's interest and looks over to Shaw now standing beside her.

 

“What?... He probably wants me to tell you that it's a folly, not a castle” Shaw deadpans.

 

Continuing to pout, “it looks like a castle.”

 

Though just born, it looks like Harry is playing favourites already and Root was going to have tough competition vying to maintain Shaw's number one spot.

 

Watching Root pretend to tickle Harry, “you do know newborns have yet to develop sensitive spots right?”

 

Root ignores Shaw and continues to play with Harry, “Mama's grouchy today isn't she? Yes she is, yes she....”

 

Shaking her head Shaw takes Harry from Root's hands and holds him up to look straight into his eyes, “Harry, when you start developing your brain please ignore your Mom...”

 

As they continue to walk along the grass, still pouting and starting to jostle with Shaw to retrieve their son. With a departing kiss on his cheek, Shaw relents and hands Harry back to Root.

 

Root leans in and down to take back their son, only Shaw also leans in and kisses Root full on the lips. Pulling away again Root's pout instantly transforms into a beaming smile again as she holds onto Harry, who is gurgling, his mouth having dropped into an O and looking between his sparing moms.

 

The temperature begins to drop further and Root places Harry back into the pushchair as they finish circling around the grassy open space and back to it. Quickly pulling a blanket over him and pulling down his penguin hat to cover his ears, Root then proceeds to pull the pushchair cover down creating a snug dome shelter for Harry.

 

Shaw hands Root a heat pad to place with Harry and she spots a small dark figure in the short distance looking at her, then quickly looking away again. It was brief but it catches Shaw's attention, or at least Shaw thinks she caught something...

 

“Sameen?” Root calls as she spots Shaw standing still.

 

Turning back to Root, Shaw sees Harry already neatly tucked into the pushchair, both waiting. Taking Root's hand and pushing the pushchair with the other, they continue to stroll through the park and towards one of the exit points, the sky beginning to dim.

 

Whistling, Shaw calls Bear to her side.

 

Root clips Bear's lead to his collar and hooks the end onto a handle of the pushchair and they all exit the park.

 

As they continue to walk down the pavement and back to the parking lot to retrieve their car, Harry starts to shake the pushchair more frequently. Restless and bored, Harry kicks out tossing and turning before finally starting to whine.

 

Root moves around the pushchair to pick him up and places him on her chest. Rubbing his back, “shhhh, Harry” Root soothes, “mommy's here.”

 

Harry settles into Root's chest and stops fidgeting as he finds comfort in hearing his Mom's heartbeat, just like how Root finds comfort in listening to Shaw's heartbeat as Shaw rubs her back.

 

As Shaw watches Root she catches a glimpse of that same figure again, this time standing at the bus shelter. Shifting her head slightly to get a better look a bus pulls up.

 

“Sameen?” Root interrupts again as she places a hand on Shaw's shoulder and breaking Shaw from her thoughts. “What's wrong?” Root asks now a little concerned.

 

Shaking her head slightly, “keep thinking I see the same old woman, but..” As the bus pulls off and Shaw looks back at an empty shelter. “it's nothing.”

 

Root glances across Shaw's line of sight and towards the bus shelter. Then looking back at Shaw, pausing for a moment before letting it go, “Sweetie, we should get going it's getting _really_ cold” and Root resumes walking again with Harry still in her arms, swaying him with each step.

  
Shaw traces Root's footsteps as she and Bear follow them, but Shaw's mind was now drifting elsewhere as they continue to walk back to their vehicle...

 

 

\-----

 

_Turing Family Home, Nursery room:_

 

 

Gazing into his soft brown eyes, Root couldn't help but be absorbed as Harry smiles back giggling, tossing and turning as he lays on top of a soft cotton towel placed on top of the baby changing table.

 

Walking into the nursery room, “Root! He's gonna catch a cold” Shaw calls as it snaps Root out of her daze.

 

Finishing wiping Harry down, Root leaves the flannel next to the bowl of warm water and pats Harry down with his towel while Shaw turns up the temperature of the heater in the room. Lifting Harry up, Root wraps him in the towel before placing him on her shoulder and chest and cuddling him.

 

“Harry's a good boy” she coos as Root continues to bounce him and pat his back dry, “and Mama is over exaggerating, Harry is at the perfect temp?” As Root brings Harry to her chest, “aren't you?”

 

With his head leaning over Root's shoulder, Harry remains still and quiet as he stares wide eyed and mouth at Shaw, just staring at her curiously.

 

Dropping her head gently onto her son's, “who's that, Harry? Who's that you're staring at?” As Root turns sideways on to give Harry a better view of Shaw while Shaw walks towards them. “Is that Mama?” Root continues to ask Harry, who's eyes remained focused on Shaw, following her every moment towards him. “Isn't Mama beautiful, Harry, isn't she beautiful” as Root kisses Harry's cheek, “you can't help but stare” Root teases proudly now looking at Shaw herself.

 

Shaw returns Root's compliment with an unamused stare before Root places Harry back down onto the changing table before smothering him with hypoallergenic and fragrant free baby lotion. As Shaw passes a nappy, Root proceeds to put his on Harry before pulling on a stripped baby suit over it and finishing by wrapping a white plastic gadget around his ankle.

 

Noticing the plastic contraption, “what!..... Is that? Do I even want to know?”

 

_Buzz.... Buzz......_

 

Shaw's phone vibrates and she receives several messages:

 

_Oxygen levels: sufficient_

_Room temperature: sufficient_

_Heart rate: normal_

_Movement: normal_

_Body temperature: normal_

 

Watching Shaw stare at her phone, “it's Harry's stats, Sweetie, She's keeping watch for us” and Root taps the plastic gadget around Harry's ankle. “his very own personalised baby monitor” Root finishes grinning.

 

Putting down her phone, Shaw resumes what she was doing by taking away the bowl of water to empty it while Root carries Harry to the nursery chair.

 

Now gazing at Root, Harry continues to wriggle and while as he stares at her, trying to reach for food.

 

Smiling, “is Harry hungry?” Root asks as she unbuttons her top to start feeding him.

 

As Harry feeds, Root watches Shaw as she continues to clear and tidy everything away. Root also couldn't help but note that Shaw took the news of the baby monitor anklet better than she had thought. Root had even prepared an entire arguing speech for the anklet in preparation for Shaw's response but it didn't look like it was going to be needed.

 

It doesn't take long before Harry finishes feeding and starts to yawn. Wiping his mouth from drool and sticky residue, Root watches as Harry's eyes open and close, open and close. His eyes starts to droop heavily but Harry continues to fight sleep by kicking out with his legs. With faded whimpering, Harry finally losing the battle and his eyes remain closed. His mouth however remained hanging open. Root lets out a silent laugh wondering why babies sleep with their mouth wide open when they naturally breath through their nose. It looked odd and she was tempted to plug the mouth....

 

Harry's breathing sudden quickens and he sucks in rapid shallow breathes for the next minute before, silence.....

 

Root's eyes widen as Harry abruptly stops breathing. With her heart jumping out her chest, Root stands. In two minds about what to do, in a panic, swithering whether she wanted to run out the door....

 

Harry's chest rises and he starts breathing normally again as he closes his mouth.

 

On the verge between tears and relief, Root looks up just as Shaw walks back into the nursery room after taking away Harry's bodysuit to place it in the laundry basket.

 

Seeing Root's distraught expression, Shaw looks at her confused, “what?” Walking towards Root and then looking down at Harry, who was sleeping peacefully.

 

“Sameeeeeen.....” Root crumbles a little as she slowly sits back down onto the nursery chair and starts shaking a little.

  
“What?”

 

“He stopped breathing!”

 

Shaw instantly looks down at Harry in Root's arms and sees Harry's chest rising and falling normally. Not that Shaw needed to look at Harry's chest to confirm this as Harry was breathing very noisily through his nose, so much so Shaw could hear him very clearly.

 

“I swear, he stopped breathing, tell her” Root asks The Machine as she tilts her head and starts listening.

 

Letting out a soft chuckle, Shaw sits on the foot rest and places both arms on Root's thighs, rubbing them and waiting for Root to finish listening to Her speak. As Root does, Shaw smiles reassuringly at Root, “She probably told you that it's normal for a newborn to breath out of sync. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, so slow there's even a pause at times where you think he's stopped breathing”

  
Root nods, still recovering from her fright.

 

“Then She will have also told you that this is because the baby brain has yet to work out the mechanics of breathing so it's gonna be inefficient sometimes until it works out the process.”

 

Root nods again, her mood lightening again.

 

Chuckling softly at Root, “you'll most likely be seeing more of that” Shaw reassures continuing to rub and squeeze Root's thighs. “Besides, God Machine is watching, remember” as Shaw teases and nods at the plastic anklet, “you're idea. Shouldn't you trust it?”

 

Pouting, trust Shaw to use the gadget back against her.

 

Leaning over Shaw kisses Root as they take a moment for themselves. Pulling away again, “nap time” Shaw whispers as they make their way back to their own bedroom.

 

Grabbing the swaddling blanket from the crib, Shaw takes Harry and wraps him tightly before placing him on the side sleeper next to their bed before climbing into her own bed. Leaning on her side, Shaw continues to gaze at Harry before she feels two arms curling around her and a body scoot into her back.

 

Root had missed being able to cuddle and spoon Shaw, something Shaw had gradually allowed Root to do after months of trying. Then one night Shaw simply just never threw Root off and the rest is history. Dropping her head down onto Shaw's, Root inhales Shaw's scent and kisses the back of her head, “I love you, Sameen” Root whispers in satisfaction as she cuddles Shaw even tighter.

 

The two fall asleep quickly, only to be rudely and loudly woken _exactly_ four hours later.....

 

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

 

_Rewinding a few months, Winter 2016: Soup Kitchen_

 

Sitting eating with the regulars, Seda and Andy listen as a middle aged man, Darren, reminisces and recalls the last few years.

 

“Lost everything in the crash of 08” Darren continues as he places the torn piece of bread in his hand back on the napkin on the table. A pause as he also drops the spoon back in the bowl and looks away from the others, “she took the dxmned kids too. It wouldn't have been so bad if.... I don't even know where they are now...”

  
The handful of people sitting around the table listening become silent as Darren's story hit too close to home for most of them as it makes them all start to think of their own hard individual story. They all had problems, and they all shared in this kinship...

 

 

“ _I'm sorry Seda, I really am” as the Captain looks hopelessly at Seda as Seda stares back at him from the arch of the front door to her home. Except it was no longer Seda's home. “I wish I could do more but this is Army assisted housing and with the Lieutenant no longer.......” The Captain stops as he watches the woman stare at him defiantly, only betrayed by the tears starting to roll silently from her eyes._

 

_Seda tried to be strong but her emotions overwhelmed her and she both cursed at herself for crying in front of this man and for at the frustration at this injustice. Her husband had not died from active duty therefore Seda wasn't entitled to any further financial aid._

 

_Closing his mouth, pausing for a moment, the Captain continues in a softer and more gentle tone, “the Lieutenant was a good man, if only I could do more.......” Before taking a deep breath and looking up again at Seda, “they've given you an extra week to organise something. Please....” As he continues urging, “if not for you, for the sake of your child, please, find somewhere.”_

 

 

 

“Seda? Seda, are you OK?” As Andy looks down at Seda, peering at her.

 

Breaking from her thoughts Seda looks around the room and finds that the others had already finished up and left.

 

Looking up at Andy who was now standing next to her, smiling, “yes, yes fine, thank you” as she looks away, the smile also fading.

 

Andy nods lightly. They all had their own problems and sometimes it was just better not to ask. With that, Andy leaves Seda to her thoughts as he helps to clear up. Everyone had gone home and it was now closing time for the soup kitchen.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those following the timeline of the Shoot family stories, the community garden scene from this chapter happens at the same time as the story from Cht 10 of Village, just one.

 

  

_\------------ 'when your spirit just ran free.'_

 

 

_Rewinding: Salvation Army Family Relocation Services Office, November, 2016:_

 

As the snow continues to fall outside, so does the temperature continue to plummet as it edges closer to Christmas. The office within the Family Relocation Unit of the Salvation Army is at least warm as Seda continues to wait for the officer in front of her to find her case details.

 

“You say she's your daughter?” Questions a middle aged stout female officer in her easily recognisable navy blue uniform sitting behind her desk and now looking away from her computer monitor. “OK, Ma'am....” She starts before stopping and looking up at her client, “may I call you Seda??” Upon seeing the petite and black haired woman nod, “OK, Seda, please bear with me for a few more minutes while I go retrieve your file.” The officer then stands, notes the case number from her monitor and moves to the filling cabinets at the back of the office to search for the file.

 

As Seda sits and waits she looks around the room. Officers and visitors were happily chatting away in good spirits. A Christmas tree was standing in the corner next to the open kitchen area. It was clear that the creator put a lot of thought and time into decorating it as the tree was stunningly decorated in it's purple, pink and silver colour scheme, complete with a silver star on the top of it. Even the fairy lights were neatly twisted around it is silver to match the rest of it. Continuing to gaze around the office Seda spots more fairy lights, tinsel and Christmas decorations at each individual's work desk. On the window, it was decorated with fake snow and hanging stars while in front of it on the table surrounded by chairs, which Seda assumed is used as both a waiting and meeting area, sits a beautifully painted nativity scene. Alongside it were the Salavation Army's own packs of Christmas cards, which are of course, for sale.

 

Returning with the file, the officer places it on her desk and moves around to sit in the vacant seat beside Seda. “Ma'am, with all the information that you have given us....” The officer pauses to take a deep breath to sturdy herself before softening her tone, “I'm so sorry, it looks like your daughter didn't come home.”

 

Seda just looks at the officer blankly not sure what the officer was saying.

 

Seeing the confusion on Seda's face, “you're daughter enrolled in the Marines. From the little information that we could retrieve from the Navy, it looks like she was sent abroad on a special mission and just never made home. KI.....”

 

“I understand” as Seda cuts the officer off coolly.

 

Deducing that the woman must be in shock, “I'm so sorry. We know you have been searching everywhere for her, we wish we could have given you better news....”

 

The officer stops as Seda looks at the officer, her own mouth slightly ajar, her eyes still and her expression blank. Yet to fully process the information, Seda continues to sit in silence.

 

Although the officer understood the situation, continuing to watch Seda freeze, “Seda,” she coaxes softly, “would you like me to call someone for you?”

 

“No” Seda confirms as she blinks her attention back into the room, and stands.

  
“Please, let me call someone” the officer urges as she both follows and watches Seda walk across the office to the door and into the cold freezing temperatures outside.

 

“No, thank you” and with that Seda stumbles out. The bitterness outside became a welcomed companion at that moment as she continues to blindly navigate back home, on auto pilot....

 

 

 

 

_Sitting playing in the living room Seda goes to check on her daughter._

 

“ _Are we going to see him again?” She asks upon seeing her Mom enter the room._

 

_Seda only looks blankly down at her daughter, forlorn, lost, heartbroken and sad._

 

_Clarifying the question, she tries again, “when we die too, will we see Dad again?” As she looks up at her Mom expectantly, wide eyed._

 

“ _I'm_ so _sorry” as an army wife steps forward upon spotting Seda, drawing Seda's attention away from her daughter._

 

_As the adults walk towards the kitchen, the daughter is left in her own thoughts about the after life._

 

“ _Ma'am my deepest condolences” offers another soldier standing in the kitchen, “if there is anything I can do, Mandy too” as his wife moves to stand next to him, “please let us know” the soldier finishes as his wife nods in agreement._

 

_There were quite a few soldiers and their family gathered at Seda's home. They came directly after her husband's funeral ceremony and Seda wasn't sure if this was comforting or just a stark reminder of what is lost._

 

 _  
_ Sitting at the bus shelter waiting for the bus, Seda couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. _'How could it end this way?.... Maybe she is with her father now....'_ Seda starts to comfort herself without realising yet that she had missed a few steps. Shock had yet to pass, and grief had yet to show up.

 

_\-----_

 

_Next morning, Soup Kitchen's kitchen:_

 

 

“OK, spill” demands Linda as she moves and stands closer to Seda, “you haven't been yourself all morning, what's going on?”

 

Breaking her from her thoughts, Seda slowly lifts her eyes to Linda but remains quiet, not sure what to say.

 

“Right, you said you would be stopping by the Salvation Army yesterday, so.... What news did they give you? Come on, spill” Linda continues, determined.

 

Slowly and quietly, “they said she died” Seda states matter of fact as she stops chopping the onions and leaves the knife on the board.

 

Stunned, this wasn't what Linda was expecting and she instantly grimaces at her own lack of tact while her mouth remains hanging open shocked at this news.

 

“She had joined the Marines they said, and just never came home.”

 

Closing her mouth and regaining herself, “I'm so sorry” Linda offers as she places a hand on Seda's arm, “why did you still come in, we would have understood”

 

“I don't want to be alone... At least now I know” Seda continues, logically.

 

“Are you...” As Linda looks Seda up and down and querying her lack of emotions, “still in shock?”

 

Turning slowly to look at Linda, “I ….. Can't feel anything, actually” Seda acknowledges now that she's thinking about it.

  
Nodding, “I understand. After all these years of searching, leading you here to New York... It's a lot to process.” Linda stops as Seda continues to look at her blankly, lost. Changing the subject, “well, how about a small trip?” Linda suggests instead and watches as Seda's eyes turn to one of curiosity. “I need to go to the community garden a few blocks from here to collect the last of the vegetable that they have. The volunteers there have always been a great supporter of our project here. A small distraction but you get to see a bit more of our great community here.”

 

Smiling, Seda nods in confirmation.

 

“Good, let's go” as Linda leads the way out of the kitchen. “Seda and I will be back in a bit Andy!” She calls to him in confirmation before exiting out the back door.

 

\------

 

_Community garden:_

 

Standing curiously watching as a family decorates a small twiggy looking tree...

 

“Oh, that's the Turing's” Nadine, one of the garden's many volunteers, prompts as she walks towards Seda and spots her looking towards the family.

 

“Turings?” Seda questions as they both watch Aidan, the garden's fearless leader, now walking towards the family.

 

“A family that rents a small plot here, and of course planted that small tree. It's sweet they're here, the tree really is still a little too small, can't do much with it at the moment.”

 

Nodding, “their husbands are, working?”

 

“Uh, no” as Nadine laughs an awkward laugh at Seda's follow up question, “those two women are married to each other...” Nadine's answer is met with silence, which she breaks by adding, “it's nice, you know... To have someone who loves you regardless of social labels and who they are.” With that Nadine continues walking towards the fence and exit gate of the garden.

 

Turning to look at the family one more time, Seda then follows Nadine along the path, still carrying her crate of vegetables.

 

“Hi, Bear” Seda hears Nadine greet looking down at a great big brown dog. He loops around them a couple more times before running away again.

 

Smiling, “that's their dog, funny that he's called Bear huh?” Nadine chuckles before sharing, “all the volunteers here are a little jealous of the wife really. I mean, who doesn't want a successful Doctor for a partner? she owns her own hospital, or one was named after her, or it's something important like that. Very impressive don't you think? And very protective of her family. Career, wife, children, dog. She has it all.” Nadine sighs and gushes.

 

Seda eyes Nadine up and down wondering if she too was one of them from the way she spoke about the Doctor.

 

As they reach the fence and walk through the gate, out onto the side walk, “is that the last?” Linda calls from the cab of the van, quickly shoving the paperwork she had in her hands back into the glove box.

  
“Yes, these are the last two” Nadine confirms as both she and Seda move to the back of the small van to off load the crate of vegetables from their arms.

 

“Well, I'll guess we'll be seeing you all next year then!” Linda confirms.

 

“Certainly will. You folks have a good one, and Merry Christmas!” Nadine waves as she leaves and re-enters the community garden, closing the gate behind her.

 

“Look at all these fresh veg. Wonder what Andy's gonna prepare for tonight's menu?” Linda questions out loud as she walks to the driver side door. Just before jumping into the van, “Seda?”

 

Seda stops looking at the family and walks to the passenger side door to climb back into the van herself.

 

“Everything, still OK?”

 

“Yes,” as Seda looks away from the Turings through the fencing and back to Linda, “just a little cold” and quickly closes the passenger side door after her.

 

As Linda starts the engine, “let's turn up the heat then” Linda suggests and proceeds to play with the heating controls on the dashboard to try do exactly that. Successful, she then pulls away from the curb and drives back to the Kitchen.

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

_Turing Family Home:_

 

Sitting on a stool along the breakfast bar....

 

 

“ _Come on Sameen!” Her father calls as he stands next to the car, “we're gonna be late!”_

 

_Running out the house, “are we gonna go watch the game?”_

 

“ _We will if you get in the car” he teases and they both jump in. “You ready?!” As he turns and looks at his daughter, smiling. A happiness that also lit up his eyes._

 

“ _YES!” Sameen finishes clipping the belt into the buckle and confirms excitedly._

 

 

Root walks sleepily into the kitchen and stops as she catches sight of Shaw's hunched back, her eyes still and her mind obviously deep in thought as she sits like a statue on a seat next to the kitchen counter.

 

 

 

_Wrapping a blanket around her, “we called your Mom, Sameen, she's coming right now OK?” Confirms a fire fighter dressed in his yellow protective gear. Standing to walk away again...._

 

“ _Where's my Dad, is he stuck in the car too?”_

 

_Taking a step back towards Sameen and squatting to her eye level, “Sweetheart it was a really bad accident, your Dad got hurt.”_

_  
“Then why are you with me? You should be taking care of him.”_

_  
“Ah, I wish I could Sweetie but sometimes people get hurt so bad they fall asleep and they don't wake up.”_

 

“ _You mean he's dead?”_

 

“ _I'm so sorry Sameen, if there was anything I could have done.....”_

 

“ _I'm hungry, can I have a sandwich?”_

 

 

 

Moving slowly and now standing next to Shaw, Shaw continues to remain still, not moving.

 

Reaching out to place a hand on Shaw's shoulder, Root watches in alarm as Shaw grabs her wrist forcefully and starts twisting.

 

Shaw's eyes shift at the movement beside her and her attention instantly returns back into the kitchen. Quickly realising that it's Root, Shaw lets go of her wrist. Pausing a second longer to regain herself, Shaw begins to register what she had just done and reaches for Root's arm again, this time more gently to inspect the damage caused.

 

Startled, Root watches as Shaw looks over her wrist and at the angry red mark now around it. “Sweetie” Root disturbs in alarming concern, “where were you just now?”

 

Shaw slowly lets go of Root's arm again and stands from her seat. “I need to go do a of couple things, I'll be back in a while” as Shaw begins to leave, all the while she avoids eye contact with Root, which only makes Root even more alarmed.

 

“Sweetie,” Root urges again as she grabs Shaw's arm stopping Shaw from leaving. “Talk to me.”

 

“You should rest, I'll be back in a couple hours.”

  
“I'm coming.”

 

“It's freezing outside and you need to rest, you're exhausted” as Shaw tries to twist her own arm free from Root to continue to the front door.

 

Unrelenting Root pulls Shaw back to her. Now within millimeters from each other, Root quickly grabs Shaw's other hand and squeezes it tight. “I'm going too or I'm not letting go” Root commands as she looks down at Shaw, determined.

 

Shaw finally looks up into Root's eyes and sees Root's determination. Rolling her eyes, “come on then” Shaw concedes to Root's grin.

 

Tugging Shaw back upstairs to their bedroom, Root changes while also making sure to block the bedroom door, stopping Shaw from sneak out without her.

 

\------

 

Standing in the graveyard in front of two simple head stones with the name ' _G. Shaw'_ and _'B. Shaw_ ' carved on it, the crows call and flutter by, the wind continues to howl and small smatterings of snow continue to fall intermittently.....

 

 

Shaw's moment is broken as she feels Root curl her arm through her own followed by Root huddling into her, shaking.

 

“Let's go” Shaw states abruptly and turns to leave.

 

“No, Sameen I'm sorry” as Root feels bad for ruining Shaw's moment. “I shouldn't have come” but it was too late for Root to regret that now.

 

“Root you're freezing” Shaw states roughly and grabs a hold of Root's hand. “which means our son must be freezing” Shaw adds as she looks down at Root's belly.  "These people will still be dead on the next visit, no point in us joining them now” as Shaw finishes by pointing out the obvious and proceeds to drag Root towards the path and out the main gate.

 

 

 

Seda looks across the graveyard and spots two figures just leaving. As the couple walk past her in the short distance, Seda notices that they were also two women, before continuing to look for her own husband to pay her respect.

 

Finding the headstone, Seda's eyes widen as she spots fresh flowers propped up on it. Spinning around quickly and scanning the cemetery looking for the earlier couple, _'were they just at this headstone?'...._

 

Fast marching, almost running, towards the main gate Seda continues to try catch up with them. _'Two women..... Have I seen them before?'_ Seda wonders wishing she took more notice of the passing couple. As she reaches the gate and looks around, no one was there, they were long gone.

 

\---

 

Sitting on the subway train Root continues to watch Shaw as she stands in front of her zoning in and out. Squeezing Shaw's hand Root manages to regain Shaw's attention.

 

Gazing at Root.... … … “  He was in the Marines too”

 

“You're... Father?”

 

Shaw diverts her eyes again to her feet, “was posted in the American embassy in Iran. He left just before the Iran Revolution broke out” Shaw stops as she exhales heavily. “He wouldn't leave without Mom, took him a lot of money.....”

 

This was the first time Root had heard Shaw mention her mother, and the hesitation Shaw was showing told Root a lot.

 

“He was funny”

 

Smiling up at Shaw from her seat and pulling Shaw closer to her, “is that why you're funny?” Root smiles proudly.

 

But Shaw remains consumed by sadness, “he wanted me to see the world. Encouraged me to dream the American dream. Even through all the taunting and the abuse he remained positive. He would say, this is home, good or bad.”

 

Root watches as Shaw pauses and dips her head even lower into her chest.

 

“We are different he said, but that's also what makes us unique. We can learn to fit in, we _can_ be one of them. But with it we can also better ourselves and those around us, my fair lady.”

 

Root's eyes widen at the revelation as more silence follows....

 

In between the train cabs stopping, the doors opening and closing, and passengers getting on and off the train, Root spots Shaw's eyes soften, “and.... G Shaw?” Root ventures.

 

Smiling softly in memory of her, a smile which doesn't reach Shaw's eyes, Shaw replies quietly. “My Grandma... Raised me.”

 

Squeezing Shaw's hand, Root manages to reconnect eye contact with Shaw. Smiling into Shaw's eyes Root whispers, “Bernard G Shaw.....”

 

' _Was this why Sameen chose the surname Shaw, or did her father change it for them?'_ Root continues to wonder...

 

 

\---

 

As soon as they walk through the front door and Shaw closes it again, Root pushes Shaw into the back of the front door and smash their lips together. Content and leaning into Shaw the best she could with a heavily pregnant belly, Root gazes into Shaw's eyes, “Sameen........” Root calls tenderly, “where is your Mom?” The Machine had shared with Root some information about Shaw's father but no information was ever given about her mother.

 

Looking up at Root, Shaw didn't have to say anything as her expression told Root everything she needed to know. “Is this why you don't like Christmas, this was when she left?”

 

Shaw doesn't answer but instead chooses to continue kissing Root before leading her back to their bedroom.

 

_'Was this why Sameen has been so detached and afraid to commit all this time? Using Axis II personality as an excuse to not even try connecting with people?.....'_

 

As Shaw kisses her, “Sameen, you're family's here” as Root takes her hand, “and we're not going anywhere” Root confirms gazing into Shaw intensely.

 

Shaw stops and they both continue gazing at each other.

 

“Home is where the heart is” as Root breaks the silence, grinning “and your heart” moving her hand over Shaw's heart, “belongs to me, you said so yourself.”

 

Scoffing, “unbelievable!” as Shaw watches Root lift her brows at her, “still flirting at the most awkward moment.”

 

Curling her arms around Shaw's neck and embracing her closer, Root leans into Shaw's ear.  Continuing to grin and tease, “I know.....”

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

_\------------------ 'You left an empty void inside,'_

 

_Community garden, December 2016:_

 

Determined, Seda pushes open the gate and walks through the community garden towards the tree. Stopping and staring down at the plaque on the ground in front of the tree, _'Root. Willow Oak. Turing family.'_

 

“Oh hey Seda” Nadine calls as she walks by, “didn't expect to see you back so early.

 

“Hello Nadine, I was just near by and thought I would take a walk through the gardens” Seda replies as she looks up from the plaque, “Root?”

 

Smiling and now standing next to Seda, “I think that's what the Dr calls her wife. The wife calls the Dr..... Shh.....” as Nadine pauses to try remember, “I think it's Shaw at times, I guess they're pet names for each other” Nadine replies shrugging.

 

“Oh, how odd”

 

“The two are memorable because they're both called Sam. Samantha and.... Sa..... Sam....” As Nadine tries to recall the first name also.

  
“Sameen?” Seda offers.

 

“Yeah, Sameen, that's it!” Nadine confirms before turning to Seda in surprise, “I thought it was quite an unusual name but clearly not” as Nadine smiles warmly, “anyway, I best get going, have a few more chores to run” as Nadine bids farewell and lets Seda reclaim her solitude.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

_Turing Family Home, mid afternoon:_

 

Snoring lightly Shaw is woken by some giggling followed by Bear's barking before all is quiet again. Closing her eyes Shaw continues to sleep...

 

_BEEEEP.... Beep, beep, beep, beep...._

 

Shaw jolts up and runs out the room and down the stairs. Peeking around the corner she lets out a sigh of relief as she helps open some windows to let out the smoke.

 

_Beep, beep, be....._

 

“Woof, woof. Woof, woof” as Bear continues to bark along with the alarm, circling around Shaw.

 

The alarm stops as the freezing air rushes into the kitchen and pushes out the dark smoke leaking from the oven.

 

Shaw orders Root and Bear out the kitchen as the temperature drops before turning to Gen.

 

Looking guilty Gen returns Shaw's unamused face with a shrugging _'oops'_ and a grins. Picking up a now very quick cooling and very black cookie, “you think we can still eat them?” She chuckles.

  
Clearly Root was rubbing off badly on Gen, “OK Martha, if you two are going to start baking now can you at least not burn down the house, I kinda like this place” Shaw requests.

 

Dropping the cookie back on the baking tray and walking up to Shaw, hugging her around the waist and looking up at her, “Ma, if I made perfect cookies then what would you do? Wouldn't want to make you look bad” Gen teases.

 

Shaw narrows her eyes playfully glaring down at Gen for a moment before stopping and requesting “close the windows will ya, it's freezing.”

 

Nodding, Gen moves off to do just that.

 

“Oh, Gen?” Shaw calls stopping Gen in her tracks.

 

As Gen turns around a oven mitt smacks her in the cheek. Grimacing and closing one eye, the side where the oven mitt hit, “hey!” Gen protests before hearing Shaw chuckle and retreat out the room.

 

Shaw doesn't see it but Gen picks the mitt back up from the floor and attempts, unsuccessfully to throw it back at her.

 

 

Watching approach Root bites her lower lip lightly and walks up to meet Shaw, “Sweetie, we were going to bake cookies...” She complains while placing her hands on Shaw's shoulders and massaging them, stopping Shaw from entering the living room.

 

Snorting, “or us?” Shaw's attention is diverted from Root to Bear as he barks and stands next to Shaw waiting for her attention.

 

Standing under the archway into the living room Root continues to gaze lovingly and smile mischiefly down at Shaw while Shaw just stands and stares back blankly.

 

“What?” Shaw finally blurts, bored of waiting.

 

“Woof” Bear barks again for Shaw's attention.

 

Shaw is abruptly pulled in by Root and is kissed softly. Lightly brushing and teasing Shaw's lips with her own, Root continues kissing her.

 

Clearly not winning Shaw's attention anytime soon Bear walks away back to his dog bed and lies down on it chewing on his giant dog bone.

 

Breaking only momentarily to breath, Root continues to kiss Shaw slowly and intimately. Searching for Shaw's tongue Root pulls and squeezes Shaw in her embrace. Root finally pulls away with a departing bite of Shaw's lip and a final peck.

 

Continuing to eye Shaw, almost lustfully, Shaw remains standing a little dazed, amused and confused.....

 

Root points upwards with her eyes and Shaw finally looks up and spots a mistletoe hanging there.

 

Moving her head and gaze back at Root, Shaw shrugs and proceeds to try enter the room, only to be stopped again as she is tugged back. “I'm not done” as Root smacks her lips onto Shaw's for round two while her hands start to slide down Shaw's back to to her ass, squeezing.

 

 

Finished closing the windows Gen then proceeds to tidy the kitchen, which really just consisted of her throwing the burnt cookies in the trash before discarding the tray in the sink with the rest of the bowls and utensils they used to make the cookies, all still unwashed.

 

Satisfied, she makes her way to the living room pushing past her two moms, “would you two get a room, preferably your own!” She complains as she rolls her eyes and switches off the living room light as she enters it, patting Bear as he leaps to her.

  
Breaking the kiss with a small laugh, Root then guides Shaw into the living room as Root takes her by the hand.

 

Greeted by a real tree, albeit a little on the small side, it was decorated with many multi coloured baubles with just as multi ranging hanging decorations. These included decorations in the shape of reindeer, gingerbread men, snowflakes, bells, skates, wooden sleigh, dog, stocking, bobble hat, pine cone, horse, owl, penguins and of course of Santa. Even the tinsel is multi coloured and wrapped around the tree in what looked like organised chaos. The finishing touch came in the form of fake snow sprinkled over the branches. As the room was plunged into darkness the fairy lights continued to flicker and highlight the tree more vividly than Shaw's eyes could take. It was clear there was no colour scheme, no theme nor a plan as the little tree is overloaded with a mixture of everything.

 

With Gen and Root staring at her expectantly Shaw walks up to the tree, slowly. Looking over and examining the tree Shaw spots a hanging soldier decoration the size of a finger. Reaching out, Shaw unhooks it from the branch and tears the paper wrapper from it. Popping the chocolate in her mouth, “hmm, nice!”

 

“Woof, woof” Bear bounds and hovers around and over Shaw's hand, “woof, woof” as he pants and licks the back of Shaw's hand hoping that he would get some chocolate too....

 

“Hey!” Gen protests, “stop eating the decoration, you're ruining the tree!”

 

Root chuckles as she also makes her way over to the tree. “What do you think Sweetie?”

 

“Did something explode over the tree?” Shaw asks in her usual poker face expression. “Cause if it wasn't dead before, it _really_ is now!” As Shaw breaks her neutrality and chuckles darkly.

 

After slapping Shaw on the arm Root leans into it, hugging Shaw. “I don't care what you say, Sameen, I know you love it.”

 

Shaw ignores Root and turns to Gen, “something's missing here”

 

Looking back at the tree Gen starts ticking off the Christmas decorations......

  
“Under the tree?” Shaw hints.

 

Gen's eyes light up, “oh yeah!” She giggles and runs up the stairs with Bear following excitedly behind.

 

 

 

Sighing dreamily, “our first Christmas as a family” Root comments as she gazes with her trademark head tilt at Shaw. Leaning down into Shaw's ear, “darling” she drawls as she raises her hand and starts caressing Shaw on the cheek, “you better start getting used to it!”

 

Nodding is seriousness, Shaw got the message. She and Root may not have had the best childhood memories but they promised each that their children would.

 

 

Their focus is back on Gen as she returns with her arms full of presents.

 

Shaw's mouth widens a little when she sees the amount of presents Gen had and turns to Root.

 

Chuckling again, “school friends, Fusco and Lee, Reese and Iris, Finch and Grace, you and I.....”

 

“This one's from you guys!” Gen shouts excitedly as she holds up a box shaped present neatly wrapped in red wrapping paper with silver curling ribbon neatly tied around it. “I wonder what it is” as Gen shakes the box and turns her attention back to arranging all her gifts under the tree.

 

Turning to Root and whispering, “yeah, I wonder too” as Shaw looks at Root. “What did I get you?”

 

Root's expression drops, “Sameen” as her voice also drops in disappointment, “I have to buy my own present too?.....”

 

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

_Shopping unit, Brooklyn, late afternoon:_

 

_Ding...._

 

 

Upon hearing the door bell a heavy set man behind a large desk with even larger stacks of paper sitting on to of it, looks up. “Yes, can I help you?” As the deep baritone voice carries definitively through the air and towards his potential client.

 

Stepping slowly and further into the small office towards the man now rising from his seat, “I want to find out more information about someone” Seda replies.

 

Nodding, “Well you've certainly come to the right place” as he now stands and encourages Seda towards him, “please, sit down” as the man flicks his palm towards the empty seat in front of his busy desk.

 

Seda sits down and proceeds to tell this private investigator her intentions....

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

_Turing Family Home, late evening:_

 

 

“ _Goodnight kiddo, I'll see you in a few days OK?” He informs as he kisses Sameen on the head. Getting up he moves to the door and switches off the light._

 

“ _Dad?” Sameen calls stopping him in the doorway, “don't forget to come back” she instructs._

 

_Standing straight in his military uniform and giving a salute, “yes, Ma'am” and he proceeds to close the bedroom door...._

 

 

 

 

“Goodnight kiddo” Shaw calls as she peeks around the door and into Gen's bedroom. “I'll see you in the morning.”

 

Getting up and jumping away from her desk and laptop and towards Shaw, “night Ma, love you” Gen comments as she hugs Shaw. “Now go save people!” Gen beams with pride as she guides Shaw out the of the room again and closes the bedroom door behind her.

 

Pausing, impressed at how expertly Gen had just despatched of her, Shaw couldn't help but let out a mixture of a short huff and laugh as she makes her way back down the stairs.

 

Hearing Shaw come down the stairs Root goes to the front door with Shaw's work satchel, Bear having already bound to and skipping around Shaw excitedly.

 

Kneeling down and scratching Bear on the nose with both her hands, “right boy, look after the family while I'm gone, got it?”

 

“Woof!” As Bear acknowledges the instruction and sits on the floor continuing to wag his tail. “Woof.”

 

Smiling adoringly at Shaw, Root waits for Shaw to stand back up. “Be safe, Sweetie” Root coos as she gives Shaw her satchel, kisses her and proceeds to help Shaw put on her jacket before smoothing it out.

 

Batting Root and her fussing away, Shaw opens the front door and leaves determined to hold onto what dignity she had left. Although they had become accustomed to the routine, the happy family with the children, the dog and a brownstone to call their own, Shaw remained rebellious against her domestication.

 

Root smirks as she stands in the doorway continuing to wave Shaw off. Watching as Shaw climbs into her SUV and start the engine. Root knew that deep down Shaw loved playing happy family but her defiance in not willing to admit or show it only spurred Root on even more as she upped the ante and exaggerated even more every cheesy moment she could steal with Shaw waiting to see how long it will take before Shaw cracks. And Root knew she was close.

 

Sighing as Shaw drives off, Root closes the door and tries to settle down for the rest of the night. Having gotten used to Shaw being her bed buddy, Root didn't sleep so well without her now. Being heavily pregnant just made sleep even harder to do alone.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

_Carter-Turing Memorial Hospital, late evening:_

 

 

Getting off at the bus stop Seda strides the 50 yards up the open spaced boulevard and walks past the large Carter-Turing Memorial Hospital sign. She stops abruptly at the front door as the sensors kick in and the door slides open. Absent mindedly Seda watches as the sliding doors whooshes past to invite her in, but in a sudden panic attack Seda backs away again retracing her steps.

 

 _'What am I doing, this is crazy.... I can't just go in there. What if she's not.... What if she is....'_ Full of nerves the unknown starts to shrink Seda's courage exponentially fast as she holds her breath and closes her eyes. _'What's the worse that can happen, it's just a quick look......'_ Then quickly exhaling and spinning around before she starts doubting herself again she runs through the front door as it slides open once again. The sensors on the door did not respond quick enough as Seda stumbles a few step to readjust her speed before successfully passing through the first set of slow sliding doors. Walking through the short corridor and through the second set of sliding doors Seda stands in the main hallway of the hospital.

 

Quickly glancing around the busy floor she spots a waiting area to the left side of her and makes for it quickly. _'OK, Seda, calm down'_ she instructs herself, _'act normal, no one here has any reason to think you're not a patient...'_ Dropping herself down on a hard plastic seat in a just as busy waiting area, Seda blends herself in amongst all the other patients and visitors. Letting out a big sigh she waits for her heart rate to slow back down again....

 

It was quite a long time later before Seda finally spots the person she had come to see as Dr Turing walks down the hall with another woman in a white lab coat. A trail of young happy and fresh looking doctors following behind them. Smiling to herself Seda continues to sit and watch....

 

“Ma'am?” As the security officer towers over Seda waiting for her to turn her attention to him. “Ma'am?” He calls again.

 

Turning around Seda sees a tall man in a blue uniform standing over her. Surprised, “me?” Seda mouths without sound as she points a finger at herself.

 

“Yes you. Ma'am, are you here for emergency help, or are you waiting for someone?”

 

With her mouth wide open Seda was lost as to how to reply.

 

“Ma'am, you can't be in here if you're not a patient or visiting a patient and we've noticed you sitting here for a while now.”

 

“Yes, I am visiting”

 

“Who are you visiting I'll need to check this” as the officer stands waiting with his hand over his radio. Just then the officer's younger partner joins them as he stands a little distance away but within easy reach should something happen.

 

Lifting his hand to confirm the situation is currently under control, the older officer returns his full attention to the woman, “Ma'am, who are you visiting?” He asks again.

 

Seda stands and nods then moves towards the door. As she does she looks around hoping to catch one last glimpse of the Doctor but is disappointed as the security officer moves right next to her and block her view. The younger officer moves to stand on the other side of her, both now ushering Seda out the building, quickly.

 

“Ma'am” the older officer warns firmly, “we don't want trouble here.”

 

“No, no trouble” as she stops looking around and starts to walk out the front door.

 

 

Watching the woman pass the second set of doors and back out onto the street, “what was that?” The younger officer marvels as this was his first piece of action since starting the job a few weeks ago.

  
“Ah, probably just another hobo looking for some warmth” the older officer dismisses, “get more of them this time of year. Don't blame them either, it's cold out there!” He finishes as he grabs a cookie from the nurse's station. “Hmm, nice.”

 

“Oh,” the younger officer calls in excitement as he grabs a mint hot chocolate from the tray.

 

 

 

“Thanks Samantha, that's very kind of you” a nurse appreciates as she and her colleagues buzz around the cookie, chocolate and gingerbread Christmas hamper. A selection of Christmas themed hot drinks sitting alongside the hamper. All of which Root had decided to drop off in the very early hours of the morning.

 

“Hmmm....” These are great confirms another as he bites into a still warm gingerbread muffin.

 

 

 

“Root, what are you doing here?” Shaw calls anxiously as she spots Root standing at the nurses station near the reception desk. Walking quickly towards Root, “are you in pain?” As Shaw continues to scan Root up and down.

 

Smiling weakly, “Sameen,” as Root circles her arms around Shaw's arm, “I just wanted to see you”

 

As her colleague leaves them to it and the trail of interns start to buzz around the hamper of goodies, “it's late, you should be sleeping” Shaw snaps unintentionally.

 

To this, Root's expression drops a little and she remains quiet staring at the ground as several pairs of eyes fall awkwardly on the pair before quickly looking away again. Shaw dances her and Root away from the nurse's station not wanting to feed gossip and tries again.

 

Taking a deep breath and softening her tone and expression, “what's the matter?” Shaw smiles lightly and looks up playfully at Root, moving her head side to side to try catch Root's gaze.

 

 

“These are great Dr Turing, you're wife sure knows how to bake cookies!” As an unaware Doctor calls over to them waving a cookie in one hand and sipping at his salted caramel latte with the other.

 

Smiling at the colleague to acknowledge Shaw then leads them even further away from prying eyes.

 

Turning her attention back to Root, Root remained silent and continued staring into space. Taking a step closer and placing a hand on Root's belly, “Junior” Shaw starts sternly, “you need to behave and let your Mom sleep” Shaw admonishes as she rubs Root's belly and then stops. Leaning down and lowering her tone barely above a whisper, “you know she's the one who's going to be feeding you right? So stop pxssing her off Kiddo, bad move.”

 

Root laughs a little and Shaw recaptures Root's gaze.

 

Standing back up and taking both of Root's hands and squeezing them, “there's still over two months left, everything will be fine you don't need to worry” Shaw ventures.

 

“I can't help it” as Root's eyes start to water, her unbalanced hormones overwhelming her with extreme emotions as Root is caught between laughing and crying, again. “What if my water breaks and no one is around to help me? What if I'm sleeping and I go into labour? What if I'm driving somewhere and I suddenly induce? Who do I even call first, you, or the ambulance?.....”

 

Kissing Root's hand and drawing her closer, so close that Root's belly is leaning on her, “come on” as Shaw leads Root down the hall. “I'm off now any ways, we can go home together” Shaw confirms swinging their arms as they walk. “Let me go get my stuff.... Oh, should we get pancakes on the way home? Chocolate chip ones for Gen.”

 

Root listens as Shaw continues to distract her. Both knew that Shaw is the one who likes the chocolate chip pancakes, Gen's favourite was Oreo.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

_Seda's studio apartment, early morning:_

 

 

“Shut up you bxtch!...” As an angry man's voice echoes down the alleyway.

“Go to hell...” The female screams back as a garbage can is knocked over.

“Make me, you son of.....” As rubbish bags rustle and rolling glass sounds, most likely empty bottles, start to rattle down the alleyway too......

 

 

Seda continues to sit on the couch with a fleeced blanket half draped over her, her eyes half drooping wanting to sleep but at the same time unable to as her mind continues to spin at a thousand miles an hour and in no danger of stopping soon. Even the continued fighting down on the streets outside, followed by the police sirens and the intermittent echoes of garbage cans being knocked over by stray cats chasing after rats doesn't distract Seda from her thoughts. Too overwhelmed by her thoughts and emotions, Seda continued to sit consumed with regret. Although Seda clung onto hope she also feared what the private investigator will find....

 

 

_Sitting on the coach for over two hours now and starting to get restless,“Mom,” as Sameen stops staring vacantly out the window and turns her head right and up at her mother, “where are we going?”_

 

_Smiling a smile which doesn't reach her eyes, “to your Gran mama.”_

 

“ _But what about Dad, we can't leave him alone for Christmas.”_

_  
Again those innocent child's eyes but her words remained odd, “you're Dad's gone Sameen, we're the ones alone now.”_

 

_Still looking up at her mother, Sameen watches as her Mom drops her hand and turns away from her._

 

“ _Mom?” She calls again but there was to be no reply as they sit in silence for the remainder of the journey._

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

_PI office (shopping unit), Brooklyn, morning:_

 

 

“Yes, Sierra, hotel, alpha, whiskey.... What do you mean clearance? Uh huh..... Well what can you tell me, come on this poor woman just wants to find her kid...... Oh.... KIA, rest of file is sealed... I see. Uh huh.... Not great news.. Thanks.” Putting down his phone the private investigator continues his search by tapping away on his computer. Picking up the phone again he tries a different number....

 

 

Unknown to the PI a powerful Artifical Intelligence has now pushed his actions onto Her priority watch list as The Machine actively starts to note and record the PI's every move. She files this recording along with the recording of Seda making her way to the hospital earlier that day.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

_\----------------- 'to lose you I lost me.'_

 

 

 

_Rewinding, Winter, Distant Past:_

 

“ _Hey! Hombre!” As a tall, angry and gaunt looking white man walks menacingly out the alleyway knife in hand._

 

_As the blade of the knife catches the street lightings it reflects into Sameen's eye._

 

“ _Hey, you! I'm talking to you don't you dare walk away!” The gaunt man continues threatening her Dad as he waves the knife at him. “You don't belong here, crawl back to where you came from muchacha.”_

 

_Just then two others also walk out of the darkness and surround them. With her Mom retreating by her side Sameen watches as her Dad starts moving to stand in front of the assailant, blocking them from the threatening three men._

 

“ _OK” her Dad says calmly, his hands and palms flat out in front of him to show the three men he's not a threat, “we don't want any trouble here.”  
_

_As Sameen watches her Dad start to backtrack into them this also forces Sameen and Seda to start retracing their steps._

 

“ _On second thoughts,” the gaunt man sneers, “you can leave your wallet here” he demands and cackles menacingly, the other two also joining in on the laughter as they start swinging their baseball bats._

 

_Slowly putting his hand in his pocket Sameen's Dad starts to pull out his wallet. “OK, OK, I'm taking out my wallet....”_

 

_Simultaneously the baseball bat wielding short man in his loose fitting faded jeans and sports jacket grabs at the brown paper bag in Sameen's hand “what do we have here little girl?” He sneers hissing and showing his missing teeth and bad breath._

 

_Hearing Sameen scream her Dad throws his wallet at the leader to distract him as he spins around without a second thought and starts punching at the assailant next to his daughter. Punch, punch, punch, again and again and again..... And he keeps punching until the assailant starts to stumble._

 

_Grabbing the bat from his hand as the assailant finally stops stumbling and falls to the ground unconscious, Sameen's Dad then spins around swinging the bat at the second assailant._

 

_As the second assailant's bat hits her Dad's bat, both bats smash into pieces as the ends of the wood splinter from the force of the collision and fly in all directions._

 

_Seeing his bat break into pieces and then the pure anger in her Dad's eyes the second assailant starts to back off, scared._

 

_Now at a stalemate the two remaining assailants and Sameen's Dad all stand and glare at each other daring the other to make the first move._

 

_Sniffing and finally relenting the gaunt man decides that it's not worth it and he starts to back away from the family._

_  
Seeing this Sameen's Dad quickly moves his family back onto a busy street and away from the threat._

 

_As they leave Sameen glances back and sees the assailant in the faded jeans still lying on the ground next to her broken snow globe inside the brown paper bag. That was the last time Sameen had ever purchased a Christmas decoration._

 

 

_Watching the family retreat the gaunt man tucks his knife under his belt and spits on the ground in disgust. Opening the wallet still in his hand he takes out the cash and throws the wallet onto the ground before leaving. Leaving also his colleague who was still lying unconscious on the cold concrete._

 

 

 

 

_Present, December, 2016: Bryant Park, Winter Village:_

 

Leaning on the edge of the rink Shaw pulls the lapels of Root's jacket up before rewrapping the scarf around her neck. As Shaw finishes with also adjusting Root's woolly hat, Shaw's thoughts are broken as Root laughs looking down at her.

 

“You know, I have survived this long without freezing to death” Root teases.

 

“Yet” Shaw deadpans.

 

Pushing loose strands of Shaw's hair back up and under her hat, “careful Sameen, you don't want me to think you're cute now” Root continues to tease.

 

Looking up at Root unamused. “Why are we here, it's cold!”

 

Just then Gen skates by behind Shaw them, wobbles and then touches the ice with her fingers to stop her from falling. Regaining her balance Gen straightens herself up again and continues to skate around the outdoor ice rink.

 

Looking from Gen and back to Shaw, Root smirks.

  
“Shut up”

 

“You're the one who brought the kid” Root points out all the while still keeping a firm grip on Shaw's arm not allowing Shaw to skate away as she stands on the land side of the rink.

 

Feeling the tug, Shaw's skates glide her closer to the side of the rink. As Shaw's skate hits the side “as I recall, you're the one who gave her the house keys. We should have just left her in the old apartment.”

 

Chuckling, “Sweetie” Root drawls as she tilts her head, “don't pretend, you and I both know that with her skills she'll find us sooner or later so you may as well get used to her being around.”

 

Shaw's shrugs and there is a short pause before Shaw's expression softens... “You're right, better get used to it..... What?!” Shaw shrugs again as she watches Root's expression turn from shock to amusement.

  
“Did you just say.... I was right?” As a large grin creeps across Root's face.

 

“What about it?” Shaw answers coolly.

 

“Awww, Sameeeeeen......” As Root draws out Shaw's name, “you know I'm always right” and continues to pat Shaw on the head.

 

“And very annoying too” Shaw quips her expression turning back to her usual hard and unamused expression.

 

Grinning, “and you should get used to that too” Root laughs, “happy wife, happy life”

 

Raising her brows, “how does that w......”

 

But before Shaw could finish questioning Root's logic, Root pulls Shaw closer and leans down to kiss her.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

_Downtown, coffee shop:_

 

“I couldn't find a connection between Shaw and Turing. In fact..” The PI stops and hesitates. “I couldn't find any information worth a dam....” The PI cuts himself off and reins in his language use before beginning again, “there's no useful information more than a year, maybe two at most, about a Dr Sameen Turing. This _lack_ of information is what makes everything so strange. If she's a legit physician what is there to hide? It's almost like this person suddenly just appeared.”

 

“Just... Appeared? Can that happen?” Seda enquires, surprised.

 

“Well” as the PI exasperates, “it does...”

 

“But?”

 

“I usually only come across this scenario if that person has created a fake identity, so usually white collar thieves or those assigned into witness protection. If it were witness protection though their handler would have stepped in by now, so I don't think that's it” as the PI continues to try make logic of the situation.

 

“So Dr Turing is fake?” Seda asks confused.

 

Closing his mouth, scrunching his face and shaking his head, “I can only assume. I can't find a link anywhere between a Sameen Shaw and Sameen Turing other than they have the same first name. In fact I can't even find a photograph. It's either unavailable, data protected or blurry, almost like someone is playing sabotage if I didn't know any better!” The PI fumes. This has never happened before, even with limited information he was always able to find out enough to figure a person out but with these two names nothing found was even definitive enough for conjecture. “The military wasn't very forthcoming either, not that they've ever been. Without security clearance” the PI pauses to sigh in defeat. Even with military personnel he has always been able to find someone who knows someone who knows something, but for this case no one would touch it. “There isn't anything more I can do.”

 

Shaking her head, “I'm confused. These two identities is the same person or not the same person?” As Seda looks expectantly wanting a definitive answer.

 

Scratching his head, “Lady, I'm sorry.... I wish I had better news for you, I really do” and the PI sits only a few moments longer in awkward silence before rising from his seat and retrieving his thick over coat jacket from the back of his chair. “I think you'll have to find someone else more capable, I've done all I can with this.” Finished with putting on his jacket, “Merry Christmas,” he mumbles and leaves the coffee shop.

 

Seda stays in the busy coffee shop for only a few minutes longer before she too rises from her seat. Slipping the notes the PI left on the table into her jacket pocket Seda exits the coffee shop too.

 

 

Walking somberly down the street Seda walks past the white fairy light covered trees, the snowflake and Santa decorations hanging from the shops, the carol singers and Christmas tree themed window displays. Only Seda registers none of the Christmas spirit as she continues to grasp onto hope more determined to find out the truth as the Christmas decorations and celebrations, once again, only served as a sad reminder of what was lost as she continues to regret her past choices.....

 

 

“ _Dad?” Sameen calls as she picks up a small snow globe with Santa holding out a present for her, and shows it to her parents._

 

_Smiling, Sameen is handed a bill to buy it._

 

“ _You shouldn't spoil her like that” Seda protests._

_  
“It's Christmas let her be” her husband argues._

 

“ _Exactly, Iran would never allow Christmas decorations never mind celebrate it”_

 

_Taking a deep breath and sighing, “we're not in Iran anymore Seda, you need to start letting that go. You know we can't ever return, they'll persecute us.”_

 

_Seda lets go of her husband's arm and looks away._

 

_Just as hurt by Seda's reaction, “this is home now, and it's OK to celebrate Christmas here. Let Sameen enjoy it... It's just a bit of harmless fun.”_

 

“ _And the people here, is that harmless fun? They don't accept us. They only laugh and taunt us.”_

 

_Turning to face Seda, eyes softening in encouragement, full of hope, “exactly, more reason to show them we're the same. We're human just like them..... Let Sameen enjoy being a child, she'll have to face enough problems when she's older.....”_

 

 

\---

 

_(Back at) Bryant Park, Winter Village:_

 

Back on the other side of town Gen skips merrily down the line of winter pop up stalls with her ice skates draped over her shoulder to let the blades dry. All the while Gen lets the abundant Christmas lights and decorations all around assault her senses. The beauty of the snow covered Christmas trees, the serenity of hanging angels high up on the trees. Snowflake shaped lights flashing proudly, flashing as bright as a shining star on a pitch dark night.

 

Gen stops to watch as a flash mob group of dancers start to gather along the boulevard under the big trees and open space. As all the dancers get into position a mashup remix of jingle bells starts playing out of a large black speaker and the dancers all wearing bells start to ring out as they begin their fluid movements and dance routine. The crowds gather and Root and Shaw, still holding hands, find themselves watching along side Gen.

 

 _Ring, ring, ring_ as the music ends along with the performance. _Ring, ring, ring_ as the performers all disperse and the sounds of their bells also slowly fade with them. All resumes back to normal again as carols booming from the speakers hung up high on the trees start to take over again, carrying on the Christmas spirit.

 

As Gen passes another stall something catches her attention, “oh look!” She shouts at her moms before running towards it for a closer look, picking up a snow globe....

 

  
As Root swings their arms, she and Shaw continue to enjoy their time together as they all head home after their family day out.

 

Gen, who was walking a few meters in front of them stops abruptly....

 

“Well, well, well......” As a baseball bat touting punk steps out from behind a parked van in a line of parallel parked vehicles along the sidewalk.

  
A second also emerges and stands beside his leader while two others appear behind Root and Shaw, the four surrounding the women in a box formation.

 

Tutting and looking the women up and down the leader smirks, “come on ladies, I can show you much better times” he sleazes and thrusts his hips at them, his baseball bat still leaning back on his shoulder.

 

In baggy jeans and even bigger jackets, it looked like the clothes on these four perps were drowning them while their baseball caps covered half of their face.

 

Grabbing Gen and pulling her closer to her, Shaw glances around continuing to assess the situation. She notes that all four perps were either wielding long pieces of metal piping or baseball bats. Conclusion, the odds weren't good.

 

“Come on Rick, just get the money and let's go” as one complains and sniffs continually as his eyes remained blood shot and his body starting to shake.

 

Sniffing, “nah, let's have some fun” Rick taunts.

 

The perp standing next to Rick steps forward in disgust, “stupid dykes, what are you, some freak show family or something” he spits.

 

Taking an angry step forward, “what are you, crack head idiots!?” Gen shouts back.

 

Not realising that she had stepped too close to the perp Gen watches in fear as he lifts his metal piping and is about to swing it down on her.

 

Shaw steps forward quickly right up close into the perp and blocks his arm, stopping him from swinging down with the piping and swiftly jabs him three times in the face with her opposite hand. The perp is hit with such force he stumbles backwards allowing Shaw to grab the piping from his hand before tripping him and his butt hits the ground.

  
Swiftly taking the couple steps back towards and past Root, Shaw hits down hard at one of the two perps standing behind Root while the other backs away frightened by Shaw's violence. Of the four he was the weak timid one, Shaw notes.

 

“You crazy bitc.......” Rick starts screaming as he moves towards Shaw and swings his bat.

 

Shaw turns back around a split second too late to defend herself as she watches Rick about to smash his baseball bat into her skull....

 

_Zzzzzzzz............._

 

Rick hits the concrete like a sack of potatoes, out cold. His baseball bat clatters as it hits the concrete and rolls off of the sidewalk and onto the road.

 

This was enough to make the timid one drop his metal piping and run away leaving one colleague standing on his own, one still sitting on the concrete and the other unconscious on the ground.

 

Shaw raises her brows at Gen as she continues to stand over the unconscious Rick holding her taser at the ready as the gun continues to buzz.

 

Lifting her head and connecting eye contact with Shaw, Gen smiles a little and shrugs before they all turn to the other two perps. The perp that was sitting on the concrete was now back on his feet and standing next to his other conscious colleague.

 

A stalemate as the family and the two remaining perps all eye each other..... The two perps start shift their eyes first to look at each other, then to their leader Rick who was still lying unconscious, before finally turning to look in the direction of where their fourth gang member ran. That fourth member was definitely not coming back as he remained no where to be seen....

 

Still deciding what to do Root breaks the stale mate.

 

“Marcus Cornelius Smith” she calls looking at the taller of the two still conscious perps.

 

Marcus aka Smithy jumps in surprise as Root calls his name. Gripping tighter onto his baseball bat and squeezing it in nervousness,  “do I know you lady?!”

 

The shorter of the perps turns to Smithy, “Dude?” He calls confused.

 

“Marcus Cornelius Smith, seriously?” Root laughs, “that's your name? No wonder you're mad” she teases.

 

“How did.....” Smithy starts but is cut off.

 

“The real question is, did you know your two colleagues here are ripping you off?” Root turns her gaze to the shorter of the perps, “Terry here is planning to split everything two ways with umpa lumpa on the ground there, which means you and runaway get nothing.” Stopping to listen to The Machine, “Umpa lumpa over there is also planning to set you up on an upcoming heist.....” Root stops and looks at Smithy, her eyebrows raised slighty but enough to insinuate her point.

 

“Terry?” Smithy questions as he turns to him.

  
“Come on, Dude, we've known each other for years would I do that?”

 

“I knew something was up with you two, all the secrecy, the whispering. We've known each other for years and this is how you betray me.....” Smithy continues to spit and call Terry out.

 

Terry starts to back away from Smithy, “come on, seriously? Like you're such a saint yourself, you think I don't know you're......”

 

As the remaining perps turn on each other Shaw turns around and catches Gen high fiving Root as they start to walk away.

 

Extending her hand to Shaw, Root smiles and winks at her.

 

“OK, that was cool” Shaw admits as she drops the pipping and takes Root's hand once again as they all resume their walk home as if everything that had just transpired was normal.....

 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

 

_Turing Family Home, Christmas morning:_

 

 

Pushing open the bedroom door slowly Gen squeezes her head through the gap and peeks into the room.

 

Silence......

 

Disappointed Gen slowly and quietly closes the door shut again and wanders down the stairs to the living room where she unintentionally wakes Bear.

 

Poking his head up at the movement Bear watches as Gen stands staring at the flashing fairy lights around the tree, and then down at the wrapped presents underneath it enticingly calling her. Gen sighs and makes her way to the kitchen and Bear decides to follow.

 

She perks up as she spots a box sitting on the kitchen counter top neatly wrapped with a bow on top of it. Peering over the box Gen sees a card with her name on it.

 

_Gen,_

_In case we're not up early enough,_

_this should keep you entertained!_

_Love, Your Ma and me._

_Xx_

 

 

Putting down the card Gen rips through the wrapping paper and opens the box. Inside were four plain white mugs with a set of different coloured pens.

 

“Neat!” Gen cheers as she takes these out and places them on the counter top. “Whatcha think Bear? Doodles? Family portraits?”

 

“Woof!” as Bear joins in settling in on the floor next to her.

 

As Gen continues to think of what she wanted to draw on the mugs she looks through the rest of the box.

 

“Ooooooh!” Gen coos as she grabs at the chocolate lollipop and tears off the plastic wrapping before popping it in her mouth.

 

Inside the box are also small bags of small moveable eyes, red noses, small felt Santa hats and small pieces of brown felt covered wires shaped like antlers. Underneath the small bags of decorations were more candies, marshmallow and jelly ones, a Christmas elf jumper and The Arthur Chrismas movie. Smiling Gen tips these all out of the box and puts on the jumper over her pyjamas.

 

Taking the eyes, noses, Santa hats and antlers, Gen goes about sticking these onto the tops of bottles, jars, tins and boxes, decorating these everyday mundane items into Santas and Reindeers as she does so. Satisfied that she had used every last piece of craft, Gen goes back to the kitchen counter and starts decorating the mugs.

 

By this point Bear had got bored of following Gen around the house and wanders back to his bed.

 

\---

 

Root, wearing an elf hat and elf Christmas jumper leans on the archway watching as Gen continues to colour the mugs with the coloured pens. She was deep in concentration. Shaw walks into Root and both watch as Gen finishes drawing on the mug in her hand.

 

Bear however continues to walk past them and into the kitchen stopping only at his empty food bowl, whining.

 

Picking a mug up from the counter top Root laughs and alerts Gen to their presence. Finish chuckling Root turns the mug and shows Shaw, who scrunches her face before shooting a glare at Gen. Gen only shrugs in response as Shaw picks up another mug. Raising her brows Shaw turns this mug and shows Root, who laughs again.

 

The first mug is a cartoon doodle of Shaw, only the character is a squared shaped bauble with a patch over one eye and an angry face with a speech bubble beside it saying, “feed me, now.” The second mug is a doodle of Root wrapped in tinsel and her arms are above her head holding onto a star with the speech bubble, “I'm a Christmas tree.”

 

“Do you like them?” Gen asks Root.

  
“I love them, Sweetie. Merry Christmas” Root answers as she steps forward and hugs and then kisses Gen on the top of her head while Shaw has moved to retrieve Bear's bag of food and is now filling his bowl.

 

Watching Shaw finish filling Bear's water bowl too, “I think we have presents to open!”

 

“Yeah!” Gen shouts as she drops everything, literally, as the pens land clattering back onto the counter top, “it's about time, was beginning to think you two ate some poisoned apple or something” and excitedly jumps up from her seat and marches towards the living room and sitting down next to the presents on the floor.

 

 

_Rounding the corner of her small bungalow home Gran mama spots Sameen sitting next to the Christmas tree just staring into space. Breaking Sameen's thoughts, “sweetheart, why haven't you opened your presents yet its Christmas day, you're allowed to now” as Gran mama moves towards her grand daughter and sits down next to her on the rug on the floor._

 

_Slowing looking up into her Gran Mama's eyes, “G-Ma.....” Sameen starts slowly, “do you think Mama will ever return?”_

 

_Looking at her only grand child's eyes, so full of hope but she had nothing to give her that would console her sadness, “I hope so, Sameen” as Gran mama moves closer to hug Sameen, “I hope so.....” Not allowing the sadness to hang, “now......” as Gran mama changes the subject and starts lifting a random present from under the tree, “wha a beautifully wrapped present? Do I get to open it?” Gran mama asks._

 

_Nodding slowly._

 

“ _Thank you, Sameen my sweetheart.....” As Gran mama opens the present trying to remain strong for the both of them. She may have lost her son, and subsequently her daughter in law, but Sameen had lost her family...._

 

_Walking away from the Christmas tree and standing beside her in front of the kitchen table, “G-Ma, what are you doing?” Sameen asks looking up wide eyed at the differing sized bottles with coloured liquids, eggs, flour, cookie cutters, butter and bowls all laid out on the table._

 

_Smiling widely and looking down at Sameen, “no festive holiday is complete without the baking of cookies. Now go wash your hands so we can get started.”_

 

_With that Sameen runs to the kitchen sink and does exactly that....._

 

 

Seeing Shaw disappear into her thoughts again Root stretches her arm and loops it around Shaw's, ushering her into the living room and pushing her down next to her on the sofa. Watching as Gen opens all her presents, ripping through them eagerly and impatiently, it revealed the usual books, clothes and hobby craft items. The larger unusual items included receiving a tripod and a super spy (extra long) camera lens which allows the photographer to shoot a 360 degree angled photo.

 

“Awesome!” Gen coos as she delicately handles the long camera lens before running to retrieve her camera and start setting up to test her new additional pieces of equipment.

 

Leaving Gen in her own world, Root grabs a small box from under the tree and hands it to Shaw with a small smile.

 

Unwrapping the gift Shaw sees a leather coated digital book. Looking up at Root who has started smirking, Shaw turns her attention back to the book, opening it and switching it on. Only it wasn't a book it was a travel sized digital photo frame with photos of them already loaded on it. A photo of them at Brooklyn Bridge when Shaw reunited with the boys. Shaw and Gen playing at the Gara Falls Ranch, Root riding also at the Ranch, photo of them in the jungle with the orphans, their first apartment together, a photo of Root signing the marriage certificate which Shaw had not seen before today....

 

As Shaw looks through the photos, although her expressions only changing minutely, Root could register the magnitude of those memories already with Shaw and Root's smile only grows larger as Shaw finally looks up at her and squeezes her hand.

 

Taking Root by the hand, Shaw leads them back up to their bedroom where Shaw had left Root's present. As soon as she steps through the door Root spots the black and silver wrapping paper sitting next to the vanity.

  
Sauntering over and picking it, it was fairly large, approximately A3 in size but light. Unwrapping it Root sees the back of a photo frame. Shifting her eyes sideways at Shaw, Root turns the frame around....

 

In the centre of the framed picture were numbers all written out in computer code, ' _coordinates?'_ As Root suspects and continues to see that a graphic of a small red apple also drawn out in code was underneath the number. Seeing Shaw now standing next to her Root drops the frame onto the bed and embraces Shaw, whispering in her ear, “I love it, Sameen”....... Before correcting herself, “I love you........”

 

 

 

 

As Gen finishes playing with her presents she rejoins Root and Shaw in the kitchen just as Shaw takes the last of the cupcakes out of the oven.

 

Taking the cupcakes out the tin and placing them on the cooling rack, “you ready?” Shaw challenges Gen.

 

“Bring it!... Hey, wait.....” Gen stops as she looks strangely at Shaw.

 

“What?” Shaw stares back, confused.

  
“Why aren't you wearing a Christmas jumper?”

 

Root stiffles a laugh as she looks between the pair.

 

“I don't do Christmas jumpers”

 

As Gen looks at Shaw unamused.....

 

“What? I'm wearing a green T” Shaw argues in her defence.

 

“Seriously? Green, that's your effort?” Gen quips back.

 

“Are we gonna do this or what?” Shaw changes the subject and points her eyes down at the cupcakes.

  
“Fine!” Gen huffs, “but I get to choose the board game later” Gen concludes as she holds up her piping bag full of white icing in readiness.

 

Shaw hands Root a piping bag too and they each start icing their cupcakes with white icing sugar. A white marshmallow is then placed on top of it before placing tiny chocolate buttons for the eyes and mouth. Some marzipan is died orange and moulded into carrot shaped noses and chocolate sauce is used to draw on the arms to complete the snowman cupcakes.

 

The family spend the rest of the day baking Santa and Reindeer cookies and preparing the turkey dinner. Afterwards they attempt at a board game which only got a little too competitive and was abandoned half way through for a less combative Christmas movie instead. It was their first family Christmas together, and in their own home, so all others were banned from it for at least one day.

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

_\--------- 'Once a four it's now half,'_

 

 

_Present, New Year's Eve, 2016, Soup Kitchen:_

 

 

Walking out of the door of the soup kitchen everyone gathers outside on the sidewalk as they share the last minutes of 2016 together.

 

Standing alone within a small crowd of people out in the cold and looking vacantly up at the dark sky, Seda's mind drifts....

 

 

_Peeking around the corner and into the hallway next to the front door Shaw listens as Mama and Gran Mama argue._

 

“ _You can't just leave her she's your child!”_

 

“ _I can't do this, not without......” Seda hesitates as she looks away from her mother in law._

 

“ _Think about your child” as Gran Mama tries to take Seda's hand only to watch Seda withdraw even further. “You still have Sameen, and me. You can stay here for as long...” Gran Mama continues to urge._

 

“ _I can't... It's too hard... I'm sorry”_

 

“ _Seda......” As Gran Mama chases anxiously to the front porch, “please don't do this, you will regret it....”_

 

_Gritting her teeth and holding tightly onto her suitcase handle Seda continues to walk briskly away, away to anywhere and nowhere...._

 

 

 

  
“5, 4, 3, 2....” As the crowd counts down and watches firework displays being set off elsewhere in the distance lighting up the sky. “Happy New Year” as the small crowd around Seda starts cheering and hugging each other in celebration.

 

“Come on” as Andy stretches out his arms in invitation.

 

Seda looks up and smiles at Andy before completing the hug with him.

  
“Happy New Year Seda” Linda calls from the side, “Happy New Year, Andy!....”

 

 

\-------------------------------

 

_Turing Family home, New Year's Eve:_

 

Squashed and huddled along the window seat and looking down onto the park, Root cuddling Shaw cuddling Gen watches on as Gen counts them down.

 

“5, 4, 3,” Gen's voice get's louder as the digits get lower, “2, 1!”

 

A ten minute display of abundant fireworks whizz and pop up in the sky creating figures and dancing lights high above the tree tops and brightening beautifully the clear dark sky.

 

“Happy New Year!” Gen half sings and shouts before getting up and leaving again phone in hand.

  
“Sweetie, where're you going?” Root calls as she watches Gen run away, but there was no reply as Gen was already too busy engrossed in messaging her friends.

 

Shaking her head and chuckling, Root's attention returns back to Shaw as she states, “only crazy people laugh to themselves.”

 

Root's smile quickly fades at Shaw's remark.

 

“But crazy people are also usually the happiest” Shaw quickly adds while Root remains quiet not knowing whether to laugh or cry at hearing this. “If you're crazy, and I like crazy, what does that make me?” Shaw furthers trying to dig herself out of the hole she had again unintentionally dug.

 

Seeing Root's expression still between a smile and a pout, Shaw panics, “I'm sorry” as she takes both of Root's hands and kisses them simultaneously, “habit. Bad one” Shaw confirms as she chides herself. “You're not crazy, I'm the crazy one.”

 

Laughing lightly, “Sameen” Root drawls, teasingly, Root knew Shaw was trying.

 

Shaw braces herself knowing that every time Root drawls her name like that something bad usually follows next....

 

“We're both crazy” as Root pauses and grins, watching as Shaw gazes back at her bemused, “crazy in love that is” as Root pulls Shaw in and kisses her making Shaw nearly fall into her.

 

Finishing the kiss Shaw watches as Root continues to grin. Closing her eyes and shaking her head before slowly opening them again, “I swear Root you're flirting gets worse over time.”

 

Continuing to smirk as if that was a compliment, “I know” Root agrees as she pulls Shaw close to her again, “but you love it” as Root continues to tease.

 

“No Root,” Shaw states frustrated, “I love _you._ ” Shaw stops in shock at herself as the words leave her. Did she just say that out loud?

 

Blinking and completely caught off guard herself Root's mouth hangs open.... Able to regain herself a little, “why, Sameen,” Root begins again with a huge grin usurping her face, “did you......”

 

Shaw cuts Root short by standing up and trying to walk away only Root wouldn't let go of her iron grip now around Shaw's arm. As Shaw tries to tug herself free and Root grips unrelentingly, Root is lifted from the window seat and to her feet by Shaw's force and Root continues to trail Shaw back to their bedroom.

 

“Root!”

 

“Sameen......” As the bedroom door closes behind them.

 

“I can't do this....”

 

Smiling patiently down at Shaw and tucking a loose strand of hair back behind Shaw's ear, “try, Sweetie”

 

“Fine,” Shaw huffs..... Deep breathes, exhaling........ Shaw lifts her eyes back up at Root. “I....... … …. …...” Shaw starts to grin uncomfortably as words just don't flow that easily from Shaw.

 

Releasing her from her torture, “I know” as Root continues to caress Shaw's cheek, “I do too” as Root intertwines their fingers and holds tight onto Shaw's hand, both still gazing at each other....

 

 

\-------------------------------

 

_February, 2017:_

 

Standing on the streets at a crossroad Seda turns her head and stares at the bus shelter across the street. Thinking the better of it she turns and starts walking in the opposite direction back to her studio flat. It was dark and still winter cold as the snow starts to fall again. It had been falling intermittently all evening. Like the seasonal temperatures the snow couldn't make up it's mind whether to fall or just call it quits until next winter. Plunging her hands deep into her pockets Seda is reminded that the notes from the PI were still in her pocket as her hand hits the paper....

 

“ _So Dr Turing is fake? Seda asks, confused._

 

 _Closing his mouth, scrunching his face and shaking his head, “I can only assume. I can't find a link anywhere between a Sameen Shaw and Sameen Turing,”_ as the PI's words continue to ring in Seda's head _..... “[T]here isn't anything more I can do.... I'm sorry”_

 

 

Seda scrunches the notes into the now balled hand inside her pocket and abruptly turns to walk back towards the bus shelter. As she crosses onto the opposite side of the road Seda turns her head upon hearing that familiar humming of the bus engine and catches a view of it as he whooshes by her. Without having time to keep thinking about it Seda runs the last remaining 100 yards to the bus shelter waving her hand and shouting as it echoes down the empty street, "stop!”

 

The bus comes to a screeching halt at the bus stop and sits waiting for her to catch up.

 

Jumping on board Seda sits and reminisces out the window, the notes still held tightly in her hand.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_Turing Family home, mid evening:_

 

“Sameen, you have to go they need you” Root encourages as Shaw remains unmoved still sitting on the couch.

 

“Nope” Shaw replies simply.

 

At a loss, _knock, knock,_ and they are interrupted by a visitor at the front door.

 

Lifting the bag in hand, “I've got pickles, chocolate, chips, soda, ice cream and fruit, your choice” Fusco greets.

 

Chuckling Root opens the door wider to let Fusco in.

 

“Right short stuff get to the hospital I've got this one” as Fusco flicks his head to indicate Root, “covered!”

 

“Nope, not moving” as Shaw remains still arms crossed and vacantly staring at the TV as she continues to sit on her living room couch.

 

“OK then, don't blame me when you feel bad that your colleagues, excuse me” as Fusco clears his throat, “former colleagues, all die from their injuries from trying to save innocent people. And all because you couldn't be bothered going to work....”

 

Shaw instantly shoots a dark glare at Fusco.

 

Shrugging, “you know, just saying” as Fusco finishes by looking towards Root.

 

Root couldn't help but smile at Fusco's teasing of Shaw.

 

“Fine!” Shaw huffs, gets up and stomps out the room.

 

“And here I thought you didn't have a heart. Loons often don't you know” Fusco continues to tease and compliment in his usual off handed way.

 

Root follows Shaw to the door pulling her in for a kiss before Shaw huffs again, pulls open the front door and walks out. Placing a hand on Shaw's cheek Root's eyes spoke a thousand words....

 

Gazing into them Shaw's annoyance melts and Root notices it from the slight change in Shaw's eyes. Pausing a little while longer to calm herself further, “don't stay up, try to get some sleep” Shaw urges before pulling herself away from Root and walks towards her SUV.

 

Watching Shaw drive off Root closes the front door and walks back into the living room to find Fusco having already made himself comfortable on the sofa chair shoes off and sprawled out with a bottle of beer seated conveniently beside him on a coaster. How considerate Root notes. Even Bear was now lying down beside him.

 

Hearing Root come back into the room, “hope you don't mind, hockey is on” Fusco comments as he waves the tv remote at her before turning to gage Root's reaction.

 

Shrugging, Root didn't care much for TV and instead sits down on another seat and places her laptop onto her lap. Tapping away Root eats at the pears Fusco had brought over. That and several other fruits, apples, grapes, bananas, passion fruit, mangos, pomelo, plums and kiwis, it was an impressive range.

 

“My ex used to crave fruit when she was pregnant with Lee.” Fusco comments as he sees Root pick at the fruit. “Strange thing that, craving fruit!” Fusco smirks before turning back to the game.

 

“You know Lionel, you're sweet no matter how tough you pretend to be” Root replies. Who else would visit her home armed full of foods pregnant women crave to baby sit a heavily pregnant woman just so her partner could go to work feeling more at ease? It was thoughtful, and considerate. Especially more so tonight when a few agents had been seriously injured after being ambushed trying to protect an innocent number from another not so innocent number. Though Shaw had been paged straight away by The Machine to head back to the hospital, not wanting to leave Root alone in the house so close to her due date Shaw had refused to answer the page.

 

\-------------------------------

 

As the bus pulls into the stop a street down from the hospital Seda pulls down her hat and braces herself as she strides towards the hospital. Walking past the large Carter-Turing Memorial Hospital sign again, Seda stops abruptly and _'what am I doing? This is crazy, I can't keep doing this....'_

 

Caught between indecision Seda goes into auto pilot and finds herself walking into the hospital with a group of people as they rush in through the doors urgently shouting for a Doctor. Through the chaos and commotion made by this group Seda slips in and back onto the familiar hard plastic seat in the back of the crowded waiting room and also successfully slipping past the security guards.

 

Seda doesn't know why she felt the urge to be there at the hospital but she remained there all the same looking out for the Doctor.

 

\---

 

The Machine's picks up on Seda's actions again from the CCTV cameras littered in and around the hospital and She instantly sends CCTV footage to Root, to her laptop. Root smiles as she spots Shaw in one of the live feeds but her smile suddenly drops again as She informs Root that Shaw was being followed by this woman, a picture of Seda now pulled up onto Root's screen. Walking only one hundred metres from Shaw in the CCTV footage Root also sits up at the unexpected news and Fusco catches the change in Root's mood.

 

“What's up Coco puffs?”

 

As Root stands to show Fusco the image on her laptop Root grunts, jolts and curls into herself, dropping the laptop back onto the couch as Root's legs wobble and she too falls back into the couch herself.

 

“Aaaah.......” As Root grits her teeth and closes her eyes trying to supress the now sharp shooting pains.

 

“Woof, woof” as Bear has already jolted by Root's side and starting to whine and nudge into her, “woof, woof”

 

Jumping like lightening out of his own chair Fusco's eyes were wide open in panic, “Oh Jesus, really?”

 

Grabbing Fusco's hand and squeezing it so tight it makes Fusco jolt upright in pain himself, “aaaaaah, yes really!” Fusco confirms to himself as he screams, his own level of panic heightening even more and continues grimacing at the pain in his hand, “OK.....FFF, ffff, ffff” as he hyperventilates and breathes quickly and sharply in and out, “no need to panic, no one panic... Calm, calm....” As Fusco continues to panic.

 

“Aw....” Half in pain half in amusement, “you're not helping” as Root squeezes down on Fusco's hand again as a second bout of pain rips through her body. As the pain subsides Root looks up tiredly at Fusco, who remains standing over her, frozen.

 

“What?! It's still scary no matter how many times!” Fusco defends. “You think you can walk?”

 

Nodding and bracing herself Fusco helps Root to the car making sure to grab the prepacked overnight bag by the front door as they pass it. As the front door closes, thanks to the security system installed by Daizo, The Machine locks it after them and leaving poor Bear to fend for himself for the remainder of the night as he circles and whines by the front door.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_Outside Carter-Turing Memorial Hospital, car park:_

 

Pacing back and forth Reese looks anxiously towards the car park entrance, _'where are they?'_

 

_Buzz......._

 

Reese looks down at his phone, _'ETA 4.3 minutes.'_ Nodding Reese continues to pace anxiously trying to spot Fusco's car.

 

 

\---

 

_Buzz.... Buzz.... Buzz.... Buzz..... Buzz.... Buzz......_

 

 

“Somebody switch off that damn phone, it's annoying!” Dr Ashman instructs as he continues his delicate surgical procedure. “Dr Turing, some assistance here please” he calls to Shaw as she quickly clamps her side of the patient and manoeuvrers to assist Dr Ashman with the procedure on his side.

 

Just then the double doors swing open and a gush of cool air fills the room. “Chief, we're in the middle of something at the moment, can't it wait?” Dr Ashman asks as he catches a glimpse of his boss.

 

“Dr Turing, you're needed...”

  
“What can be more important than.....” Dr Ashman begins.

 

“You're wife has gone into labour and will arrive at the hospital any moment now” as the Chief cuts Dr Ashman off to talk directly to Shaw.

 

Shaw's eyes looks up at the Chief, then at Dr Ashman, her body frozen to the spot.

 

“Well Doctor, don't just stand there!” Dr Ashman encourages as Shaw just stares at him and then down at the open chest below them. Following Shaw's eye movements, “I'm sure the Chief will scrub in, go!”

 

Nodding Shaw disappears quickly as a sense of happiness and hope drifts into the theatre room amongst her colleagues as they too share in Dr Turing's joyful news.

 

\---

 

 

Screeching to a stop right in front of Reese, Fusco dumps the car on the sidewalk as he jumps out while Reese opens the door to help Root out of the car. Grabbing his arm and squeezing down hard, Reese grimaces as he realises Root must be having another contraction. Holding his breath and riding out the pain with Root, Reese waits for her to open her eyes again.

 

As the pain subsides and Root starts breathing again Reese quickly moves behind Root to haul her up from the car seat while Fusco grabs the overnight bag and swings it over his shoulder and runs to take Root's free arm. Standing on either side of Root the boys support her towards the hospital entrance.

 

The entrance may have been only a few paces away but Root doesn't make it as a scream rips through the dark sky shaking even the stars. Painting between the pain Root's legs start to wobble and cave as the pain sucks all the energy she had left from her.

 

Both Reese and Fusco hold tighter onto Root's arm as they feel her body weight drop into their arms and they end up holding Root up. Looking at each other in panic...

 

“Fusco” Reese calls as he tries to remain calm.

 

Fusco nods and Reese instantly scoops Root into his arms and starts half jogging half running towards and into the hospital, Fusco following swiftly behind.

 

Bashing through the sides doors as the sliding doors didn't open quick enough for Reese, both Reese and Fusco call for help in a strangely synchronised manic panic just as another scream is heard from Root.

 

The noise level instantly alerts everyone on the ground floor, including those sitting in the waiting room, of their presence. Seda looks up and over to them and her head cocks up as she recognises the face.

 

A doctor and a couple of nurses rush to Root's side with a gurney. Just in time as Root doubles over onto the gurney. The pain is becoming more progressive, sharper and shorter now.

  
Seda's eyes light up at the realisation as she sits up, stretching her neck to try get a better view. She watches on as the gurney rolls away hurriedly down the hall, a crowd of people running along side it with her.....

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

 

_\------------- 'I did not understand the math.'_

 

 

"Sameen!!!..." Root calls to plain white tiles above her head as she's whizzed down the hallway. “Shaw!” Root shouts more angrily through gritted teeth in between the pain, seething.

 

Still holding onto Root's hand, Reese looks on grimacing in silence as he absorbs his and Root's pain as he continues to run with the rolling bed before being abruptly stopped by a nurse as Root is pushed through the double doors and into a delivery room.

 

Reluctantly letting go of Root's hand Reese turns to Fusco, lost.

 

Standing beside Reese and placing a hand on his shoulder, Fusco nods before adding, “best we don't go in there.”

 

Amused, Reese barely has time to register Fusco's remark as a glimpse of that familiarly petite dark figure flies between them and crashes through the double doors in her fresh pink scrubs, not bothering to pause and greet them.

 

Reese closes his mouth again as he inhales what's left of Shaw's dust as she storms past him, and all is quiet again. Helpless, all they could do now is wait as Reese follows Fusco back to the waiting area.

 

Gritting her teeth, "Sameen" Root cries and reaches out for her as she spots Shaw entering the room.

 

Grabbing her hand and wiping at Root's tears, "Shhhh..... I'm right here, right here" Shaw encourages inhaling a deep breath and then slowing exhaling again, just like the natal classes taught.

 

Managing to calm Root between her pain, Shaw keeps Root distracted, kissing and squeezing her hand, focusing and encouraging her. “You're doing well,” before stopping as the reality of it starts to sink in, “we're gonna have a baby” Shaw smiles in disbelief as she squeezes Root's hand just that little bit harder, exhaling....

 

"Dr Turing" Dr Selleck calls, breaking Shaw's focus on Root. "You ready?!" She enquires through her face mask.

 

Looking back to Root, Shaw doesn't move but clasps her hands tighter over Root's not moving away from her.

 

“Aaaaargh” Root seethes as she starts to get angry at the continuing pain before letting it fade again with the contractions. Tears fall from Root's eyes as her emotions continue to unravel like a ball of twisted yarn.

 

They had talked about this previously, Root wanted Shaw to be the first to hold their son, to welcome him into this world. Shaw being a Doctor, and Dr Selleck being one of the best, if not the best in her field, was both confident in herself and Dr Turing that Dr Turing could manage to deliver her own baby. With that, Shaw had been given the run through of the procedure. After which Shaw then made herself more familiar with it by continuing to read up on the text book procedure, reading as it lead up to this day. But now that this day has come Shaw doesn't move, instead choosing to be beside Root.

 

Caught between Shaw's gesture and her own wishes for Shaw, Root quickly shakes Shaw's hands from her own and tries to push Shaw towards Dr Selleck.

 

Hesitant Shaw still doesn't move, her loyalties split.

 

"Sameen" Root seethes as she sees Shaw still standing beside her and not as they had discussed. Just as another contraction thunders and rips through Root, “Sameen!” She pants heavily and angrily in warning, sweat beading from her forehead, "go get our sooooooon...... Aaaaaaah...." As Root pushes and holds her breath once again glaring at Shaw.

 

 

Nodding and moving, Dr Selleck moves to the side as she guides Shaw into position between Root's legs, which are neatly and at the same time foreignly perched on a couple of platforms attached to the birthing bed. Though not graceful but functional, as another wave of pain strikes through Root and nature taking it's own determined course, grace, beauty and other formalities were last thing on her mind.

 

\---

 

As Gen runs towards him, “is he here? Is he here?!” She asks quickly and excitedly. Reese shakes his head and Gen panics, “what does that mean?!”

 

“Your Mom's still in labour but could be any moment now so calm it coco puffs junior. Other than the screaming pain from giving birth,” as Fusco grimaces at the thought, “she's fine.”

 

Reaching Reese herself and chuckling, “I told you you're lack of facial expression frightens people. You need to loosen up a bit more” Iris continues to tease as she watches Reese grimace slightly at her.

 

When The Machine had alerted Reese about Root's active labour, Reese had hurried to the hospital while Iris drove to the school to fetch Gen.

 

\---

 

Standing by the foot of the bed Shaw stands ready, her arms out waiting to receive...

 

 

“ _Mama?” Sameen calls as she runs to the end of the street to catch up with her mother, slipping her hand into her mom's as she reaches her, “when are you coming back?”_

 

_Stopping and turning around she sees her daughter's wide eyes staring back at her innocently..._

 

“ _Will you be back to read me a story?”_

 

_Sameen watches as her mother wriggles her hand free of hers and continues to walk away. Watching her mother's silhouette disappear into the horizon Sameen became increasingly aware of her stark empty hands now hanging lonely by her side. Her mother had never looked back..._

 

 

 

“Sameeeeeeeeeeeeen!” Root screams as she tenses and then pushes. Gripping onto the side of the bed with both hands, Root pushes again.

 

Seeing the crown of her baby's head Shaw's eyes pop wider open, entranced.

 

Dr Selleck places a hand on Shaw's shoulder and reminds softly, “don't forget to breath Doctor Turing, can't have you passing out now.”

 

Letting out a forced nervous breath, Shaw finally remembers to breath but they were all hitched as goosebumps also start to form through her along her spine.

 

A gasp as Shaw hyperventilates upon seeing a tiny head slide out. Reaching out to gently hold and support the underside of his head and now escaping tiny shoulder, Shaw's lower lip starts tremble.

 

“That's it Sam, another push and we're there” Dr Selleck encourages.

 

With that Root musters a final push and their baby slides out and into Shaw's arms. Mouth hanging and stunned Shaw's expressions alternated chaotically. Emotions at the best of times are as complex as a rainbow is simple. For someone like Shaw, they were unfathomable as she tries to work out exactly what colour she should be. But inevitably, at that moment, whatever emotions Shaw was feeling it didn't matter. What mattered now was that her child is.......

 

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, waaaaaa..................” The boy's lungs fill with air as he bellows out crying with all his might and announcing to the world that his much anticipated and long awaited arrival has come to an end.

 

“Congratulations, Dr and Mrs Turing, he's a very healthy boy” Dr Selleck offers as the nurses around them also start to do the same.

  
“Congratulations Samantha” a nurse offers as she squeezes Root's hand and moves away to make room.

 

Holding their newborn Shaw quickly carries him over and allows Root have a look at him, placing him in Root's arms. Though exhausted Root's eyes fill with tears once again as she looks down onto a tiny being, her son. Her and Shaw's son.

 

In a rare display, “he's beautiful, Root” and Shaw kisses her on the head.

 

“Here you go, Doctor” Dr Selleck comments as she hands Shaw a pair of scissors to cut the umbilical cord.

 

As soon as Shaw does, “good” as Dr Selleck comments and a nurse takes the scissors away and clears up around Root.

 

“Now take you're son and place him here, Dr Turing” Dr Selleck reminds as she pulls over a little box bed with a small radiator over it, pulling it next to Root and Shaw.

 

Despite having learnt about the processes and procedures, in Shaw's current overwhelming state she was very slow and sluggish to react.

 

Dr Selleck, having seen this in new parents many a times understood and continued to prompt Shaw on the next steps.

 

Watching on Root sees her baby boy, his face, body, feet and hands, turn from bluish purple to a glowing healthy pink as Shaw continues to rub him, rubbing him until his circulation starts to kick in and deliver his blood more efficiently around his body. He continues to cry out as vital routine checks are completed on him.

 

Dr Selleck hands Root a measuring tape. Following Dr Selleck's lead, Shaw scoops her son back into her arms and carries him to Root where she measures his head and his body. All the while a nurse jots down the statistics as Dr Selleck reads them out loud.

 

Next the boy is weighed, 8lbs 7oz. A baby footprint is then made for prosperity and Shaw returns him to Root, where she is guided by the nurse on how to breastfeed for the first time.

 

Smiling down on him Root cradles his head as she brings him closer, chest touching chest. Moving her son's lips to her nipple, her son opens his mouth and latches on.

 

“That's it, now keep holding his head and move his mouth over your areola, that's it” the nurse continues to instruct gently.

 

A small corner curl of Shaw's lips occur as she watches her son latch on and starts feeding for the first time. The action was smoother than expected, beginner's luck perhaps but it wasn't any less mesmerising as Shaw watches her son drink the specially produced milk that will protect him from infection for the rest of his life. Breast milk which will also change over time as her son grows. It was beautiful knowing that when nature takes its natural course, that is enough to both create and protect life.

 

Moments later, with a fully belly, Shaw takes her son and places him back into the box under the small heater to keep him warm. By that point he had already fallen asleep.

 

As Shaw returns back to Root's side the nurse finishes tying an ID band around Root's wrist and is now doing the same to Shaw.

 

“Congratulations Dr, Mrs Turing” the nurse offers as she finishes wrapping Shaw's ID band and moves to tag a matching ID band on the newborn before whisking him away for further checks.

 

 

\---

 

“Baby brother!” Gen yells and jumps up from the waiting area as a small box is seen carted out the delivery room, and runs towards it.

 

Fusco jumps up from his half snooze and follows Reese and Iris, who were right behind Gen.

  
“Aaaaaw......” Gen coos as she catches up and touches the box, “can we?”

 

“Once we've completed the checks, but you can follow me up” the nurse offers, and the village follows the nurse up to the nursery room.

 

\---

 

Embracing and then kissing Root again, “you did it, Root” Shaw smiles, with pride, “healthy. Safe.”

 

“We did it” Root corrects, exhausted and sleepy as Shaw turns and nods at the nurse to indicate that Root is now ready to be pushed back to her room to rest.

 

All the way along the hallway and into the room Shaw doesn't let go of Root's hand as the realisation that from this moment onwards, the both of them will have a very heavy burden to carry for the rest of their lives, finally sinks in.

 

\---

 

Standing huddled in the observation room, the village continue to watch on as the newborn completes his vital checks.

 

The nurse checks the boy's temperature and then proceeds to give him his mandatory vaccinations. Awoken and crying, the nurse reassures him, soothing and talking to him as though he would understand as she carries out her routine checks. Checks which she has performed hundreds if not thousands of times before.

 

“Aaaaw......” Iris coos, “he's so adorable, look at his tiny fingers, his eyes, Root's eyes.”

 

Reese smiles as Fusco beams, both mesmerised by the boy.

 

Meanwhile Gen has both of her hands _and_ her nosed pressed up against the window as she steams up the glass with her breath trying to get closer.

 

There is something about babies, it either bonds people together or separates them from each other. Lucky for this group of misfits, the former is true as they continue to stand captivated by the newborn's presence. There maybe problems with the world, but right now none of it mattered.....

 

 

As the nurse finishes her checks she places the newborn back into his box bed and wheels him into the observation room to greet his visitors. Normally this wouldn't be standard procedure but because the staff there are all familiar with the faces standing there, an exception is made.

 

Jumping the queue Reese dives right in and lifts his nephew, holding him close to his chest as the nurse keeps a watchful eye over him.

 

“He's a natural” the nurse compliments at Iris.

 

Smiling, Iris nods back at the nurse in acknowledgement before turning her attention back to Reese, who is now swaying, talking to and sticking his tongue out at his nephew trying to interact with him.

 

In true Shaw-esque fashion, the newborn doesn't even register Reese and instead reacts by yawning and showing disinterest as he stretches his arms above his head and kicks out before yawning again and falling asleep.

 

 

Laughing, “if I was him, I'd fall asleep too” Fusco teases.

 

\---

 

As the others watch the nurse knock at the room door and then push the baby box into Root's room, they all continue to stand outside the door.

 

“Here, short stuff junior” as Fusco hands Gen the overnight bag.

  
Confused Gen takes the bag.

 

Smiling Iris helps fill in the blanks. “Gen, honey, I don't think we should go in. You go say a quick goodbye and you come home with you're Uncle Reese and I. We'll come back tomorrow morning and let your Mom rest, OK?” as Iris combs through Gen's hair.

 

Looking to Fusco, Fusco flicks his head towards the door in confirmation with Iris' thoughts.

 

Nodding, Gen takes the bag and pushes the door ajar, just enough for her to squeeze through it and then closes it again....

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

_\------------ 'I know it's hard I lost him too,'_

 

 

_George Washington Bridge, early morning rush hour traffic:_

 

 

“Come on, come on.......” As Finch waits behind a long queue of traffic to get into the city.

 

“Harold” Grace soothes gently as she tries to calm Finch, rubbing Finch's hand, the one closest to her but remained on the steering wheel at all times. “We'll get there soon enough. They aren't going anywhere its still very early, Samantha is probably still sleeping.”

 

“Exactly Grace, it's the very early hours in the morning, why is there _still_ so much traffic on the road? We should have set off earlier” Finch admonishes himself.

 

Amused, Grace leaves Finch to stew, clearly she wasn't going to get through to him right now.

 

“Trust Ms Groves to always be surprising” Finch continues to fume.

 

Surprised at Finch's outburst, “Harold!” Grace laughs amused, “it's not Samantha's fault the boy decided to exit early!”

 

Since it was a standstill and neither his nor any other vehicle on the bridge showed any sign of moving any time soon, Finch finally relents his grip on the steering wheel, drops his shoulders and closes his eyes briefly to regain himself. Taking a few long deep breaths and calming himself, “yes, you're right, I'm sorry.”

 

“I know you worry and it's sweet, but Sameen did call to confirm that mother and child are well. Child is healthy and mother is fine, so there's no need to continue worrying.” Grace caresses Finch's cheek.

 

“Yes, you are right Grace, I” as Finch inhales a deep breath, “shall calm down.” Finch exhales again and opens his eyes, only to still be staring at the unmoving rear end of the vehicle in front of him. _'I shall remind calm, I shall remain calm...'_ As Finch continues to remind himself.

 

\---

 

Waking in her seat, Shaw groans quietly as she stretches her back and neck. Without realising it, Shaw had fallen asleep sometime during the night. As Root was still sleeping Shaw gently unlinks her hand from Root's and sneaks out of the room. Retrieving her buzzing phone from her pocket, it was a message from Grace, she and Harold would be in the city soon. Texting the others Shaw then proceeds to the nursery.

 

 

“Dr Turing” a nurse greets warmly as she enters the newborns room.

 

Shaw acknowledges the nurse with a nod before continuing towards and then standing staring down at her son. Shaw watches as he continues to sleep peacefully, unaware of the world he is about to grow up in. Not needing to care at this moment as a newborn shouldn't need to do. New to this, Shaw continues to admire her son's chubby red cheeks, his full but very small lips, the rippling of his healthy baby body fat, the glowing skin and his tiny tiny fingers and toes.

 

 _'OK, he's cute'_ Shaw admits smiling to herself before reaching down and removing the lid of the box.

Picking him up, he stirs and grabs a hold of a fraction of Shaw's finger with his entire hand before settling back into slumber in Shaw's arms. Drawing him close to her chest, with his slight curly patch of hair, Shaw couldn't help but notice how small and fragile he is. Shaw lifts her son and kisses him on the head before lowering him back to her chest and continuing to cradle him as he sleeps and hold onto her finger. Continuing to unconsciously smile dreamily at him, time at that moment faded...

 

\---

  


“Ma'am!” The security guard shouts from behind her. “Ma'am!” The security guard shouts again as Seda quickly walks away from him and the security guard starts to chase after her with his colleague.

 

Seda finally manages to find her way up to the nursery after much sneaking around. Spotting Shaw holding a baby in her arms Seda stops and watches as goosebumps form along her arms and a shiver is sent down her spine as an overpowering mixture of emotion washes over her. Watching as Shaw exits the nursery with her newborn and carrying him away.

 

“Ma'am!” The security calls again, this time he was standing next to Seda after having caught up with her. Grabbing her arm, “you can't be in here” and forcefully tugs and pushes her towards the exit door as his colleague stands on the other side of Seda to box her in so she could not escape.

 

“But I'm visiting” Seda tries to protest.

  
Not stopping and continuing to usher the woman out of the paediatrics unit and back down towards the ground floor, “OK, who are you visiting, my colleague here will check” he asks as he turns his head expectantly waiting for an answer from Seda, “hey.... Wait...... We've met you before...”

 

Seda fights defiantly on, “I do not think so young man”.

 

“Ma'am you're welcomed here if you are a legitimate patient or visiting a patient, otherwise please be on your way” as he shows Seda out the front entrance's sliding doors.

  
The two security guards stand watch making sure that the woman leaves and all Seda could do is head back out of the hospital and back into the bitter cold winter morning.

 

 

“Crazy that huh?” The younger of the two security officers teases.

 

Shrugging, the two guards radio in their position and update the control room of their situation before continuing on with their rounds.

 

 

Though it was bitterly cold outside Seda couldn't help but smile as the wind lashes at her again.

 

“ _Congratulations Seda, she's beautiful, and more importantly, very healthy” the nurse offers as she places the newborn into Seda's arms. “What are you going to call her?”_

 

“ _Sameen” Seda answers proudly, her eyes matching the wide smile on her face. “Her father chose that name.”_

 

“ _Oh, is there a meaning to the name then?” The nurse enquires further._

 

“ _Precious and valued”_

 

“ _That's beautiful. Is the father going to join you soon?”_

 

“ _Yes, he should be here a little later, the army has let him have paternal leave” Seda answers happily._

 

“ _That's great. I shall leave the visitor's bed here for the moment then and take it away perhaps, tomorrow” the nurse suggests with a wink, “just in case anyone needs a well earned rest when he gets here” and with a smile the nurse leaves Seda with her new born, Sameen._

 

 

\---

 

Lost deep in thought....

 

“Mama?” Sameen calls as she runs to the end of the street to catch up with her mother, slipping her hand into her mom's as she reaches her, “when are you coming back?”

 

Stopping to turn around Seda sees her daughter's wide eyes staring back at her innocently.... “Your Gran mama is waiting, go back” she urges instead, ignoring the question.

 

“Will you be back to read me a story?” Sameen encourages further. Another silent pause and no reply.

 

Again those round expectant wide eyes staring back at her. Unable to bear it Seda closes her eyes and tenses her shoulders before abruptly dropping them again as she turns her back on Sameen. “Go back to the house, Sameen.”

 

Sameen watches as her mother wriggles her hand free of hers and continues to walk away. Watching her mother's silhouette disappear into the horizon Sameen became increasingly aware of her stark empty hands now hanging lonely by her side. Her mother had never looked back. “Go back to the house” were the last words said to her.

 

“Go back to the house”.... For years those words would haunt her as that was exactly what Sameen did, never thinking that she would ever find home again...

 

A tear falls from Shaw's eye as “naaa...” The soft cry breaks the silence of the room.

 

Blinking and looking down into her arms Shaw finds a pair of wide and very round pair of hazel eyes staring back at her as he stretches his short arms above his head and wriggles in Shaw's arms.

 

Gurgling, “aaa” he calls again softly as he straightens his arm and tries to touch Shaw with his pea sized delicate finger, “aaaa” as he laughs and smiles happily continuing to try reach out for Shaw, almost like he was trying to give Shaw a hug to wipe away her tear.

 

Bouncing him in her arms, Shaw stops swaying to kiss her son on the head. “I won't ever let you go” Shaw whispers in promise as she kisses his hand and fingers.

 

How can something so fragile and new be so precious so quickly as a second tear suddenly falls from Shaw's eye catching her completely by surprise. Shaw didn't understand what this meant, only one other person in life makes her feel this way...

 

“Sweetie” Root calls softly as Shaw looks up and connects with Root's gentle eyes.

 

Walking towards her from standing next to the window, “hey.....” Shaw greets as she sits on the side of Root's bed, “look who's awake?”

 

Root gazes at Shaw as she sits down onto the side of the bed facing her. As soon as Shaw was within reach Root reaches out and smudges away the residual dampness from the tears off of Shaw's cheek. Holding the gaze and caressing Shaw's cheek for a little longer, their moment is interrupted by the yawning of their son as he slowly shuts then opens his eyes again. Scrunching his face, he unable to make up his mind about whether he wanted to continuing sleeping or not. Wriggling and fighting it the babe yawns again and curls his tiny mouth into a perfect 'O' again as he stretches his small arms to his ears, all the while Shaw holds him still closer yet, to her chest.

 

SNAP....

 

And Root and Shoot instantly look up towards the sound and to a camera covering a teenager's face. _SNAP..._ Gen takes another photo before letting the camera fall onto her chest, supported by the neck strap, and walks towards her moms and her baby brother.

 

Reese and Iris who were standing in the doorway also walk in and close the door quickly to retain the warmth of the room.

 

“Congratulations you two” Iris offers joyously in a whisper as she walks to the end of the bed while John follows before abruptly overtaking Iris and towering over Shaw.

 

“Come on!” Reese admonished Shaw in a low whisper, “hand him over” as he stretches out his vacant arms and continues to stare at Shaw.

 

Lifting her brows Shaw stares straight back at Reese not moving an inch.

 

Caught by surprise at Reese's reaction, Iris couldn't help but be both surprised and amused by the sparring two.

 

“Sameen, stop teasing John” Root laughs softly and pushes Shaw's shoulder in encouragement.

 

SNAP, SNAP, SNAP.....

 

As the shutter of Gen's camera continues to shut and open again as she records the moment.

 

Just then a soft knock before it's opened to reveal Fusco and Lee, both with hands full of balloons and gift bags full of presents. This time the gifts were from the extended Team Machine family as their colleagues shared in the welcoming of a new addition to the family.

 

\---

  


Watching Harold make his way hastily through the sliding doors, Grace couldn't help but be proud of the depth of love he shows to those he cherished. Even after waking her up in the very early hours of the morning when even the sun had yet to rise, only to be stuck in traffic for hours just to get here. Grace could not be angry at him as she too excitedly taps her feet in the elevator impatiently waiting to see the baby.

 

A soft knock and Finch pushes open the door and removes his hat as he walks in, Grace following closely behind.

 

Spotting and moving quickly to Root, “Ms Groves, how are you feeling” as his kind eyes accompanied by his warm smile touches Root.

 

“Harold, you bought me some Zinnia, that's so thoughtful” as Root spots the large flower in his hand.

“Oh, yes” as Finch lifts it to show Root the colourful yellow, pink, red, purple and orange flowers. “I thought the colours were fitting given the happy occasion” Finch finishes and looks up and around the room, several pairs of eyes on him.

 

“Harry” Shaw states as she hands her son to him, dropping him into Finch's arms.

 

A little taken aback Shaw has never called him Harry before, it was a name only Root ever used, but these thoughts were soon usurped as soon as Finch looks down into the peacefully sleeping babe, “oh.....” A warm hug drifts and wraps Finch internally like a blanket as a mixture of confusing emotions take over.

  
“Aw” Grace melts as she glances over Finch's shoulder. Reaching out to touch the little cherub's cheek with the tip of her finger, “look at him, he's so adorable” Grace gushes as Finch continues to look stupefied at the baby.

 

“Harry” Shaw states again.

  
Shifting his head towards Shaw but not his gaze, “yes, Ms Shaw?” Finch acknowledges, reluctant to look away from the boy and at Shaw, who was smirking at him. Seeing Shaw's expression Finch a little confused, but then Shaw sometimes does smirk at him for reasons he doesn't always understand.

 

Looking around the room, Finch then sees Fusco smiling his usual lopsided and goofy smile while Gen grinning from cheek to cheek. Behind Gen, Lee was also smiling knowingly. Shifting his gaze quickly to the other side of the room Finch finds that all pairs of eyes were on him, and all were all smiling and smirking at him. Or was it to the baby?

 

Finally looking to Root, Root beckons Finch to her as she stretches out an arm to him. Seeing this, Finch walks over letting Root touch his arm.

  
Walking to stand on the other side of Finch, “Finch, meet...” Reese starts as he squeezes Finch's shoulder.

 

“Harry” Shaw finishes as she sits down on the bed next to Root again.

 

Finch's mouth drops as he shifts his gaze back to Root for confirmation.

 

“Harry Cane Turing” Root confirms.

 

Stunned Finch remains silent.

 

“That's the quietest I've heard Harold be all morning” Grace teases as she laughs.

 

“More importantly,” Reese injects, “who's God father?”

 

Root looks over to Fusco and Reese's face drops.

 

“WHAT? Come on!” Reese protests.

  
“Don't look at me big guy it's not me either!” Fusco pouts, “even after all those wife sitting duties!” Fusco grins.

 

With that remark Fusco watches as Shaw narrows her eyes and glares at him. Fusco simply shakes Shaw's glare off with a shrug.

 

“Come on Shaw, I thought we had a thing?” As Reese tries to plead his case.

 

Lifting her brows and creasing her head in amusement, Shaw was liking this power shift.

Iris chuckles watching Reese both squirm and loose his cool simultaneously.

“Then who?!” Fusco blurts, his words coming out more abrasively than he had intended.

 

 _Buzz..... Buzz..... Ding... Ring..._ As everyone's phones ring and vibrate simultaneously.

 

“ _(him)Cane, anagram Machine”_ Lee reads out loud after taking his phone out from his pocket.

 

Both Reese and Fusco's mouths drop in shock.

 

“I think that's the quietest I've heard you boys in a long while” Grace continues to tease all of them.

 

“I think that's awesome” Lee comments. “Who wouldn't want a power AI watching over their kid? Welcome to the future.”

 

“I'm surprised with you agreeing to all this, Ms Shaw” Finch stops and looks down proudly at his namesake as he takes a moment, leaving everyone hanging....... Before continuing again, “to also name Her as guardian!”

 

“Our family's name and identities are all created by Her already so why not?” Root furthers, “and she watches over us every minute of every second of the day.”

 

“And what's in a name anyways, Finch?” Shaw continues watch Finch's wide smile glaring with no hint of fading anytime soon. In fact it's in danger of being stuck there forever, Shaw notes.

 

“Wait! What?!” Fusco grimaces disapprovingly, his faced scrunched up to max capacity to show by just how much while still trying to plead his case.

 

“Forget it Lionel, looks like we both lost to a Machine” as Reese sighs in disappointment.

 

_Buzz..... Buzz..... Ding... Ring..._

 

“Haha, I win” Lee continues to read out loud.

 

“Smooth!” Fusco continues mumbling.

 

_Buzz..... Buzz..... Ding... Ring..._

 

“You can call be God Machine from now on” as Lee reads the following message too and laughing.

 

Taking his own phone out of his jacket pocket and looking at the small camera on it and shaking his head, “that's just, seriously bad!”

 

_Buzz..... Buzz..... Ding... Ring..._

 

 _''Sore loser'_ Fusco reads as the words appear on his cell phone screen.

 

Finch ignores the other two while he continues to stand elated and proud. “Hello, Harry” Finch greets as he bounces Harry in his arms and watches as he flickers his eyes between open and shut still trying to work out whether he wanted to continue sleeping or be awake. Harry gurgles and wriggles for a few moments longer before falling back asleep again. “Everything Ms Shaw, it means everything” as Finch finally answers Shaw's question and continues to laugh and smile to himself as he finally relents and passes Harry to Grace.

  
Gen moves to Shaw and hugs her as they all continue to enjoy being in this moment together.

 

\--------

 

“Woof, woof” Bear calls as he jumps up at the window and half props himself up on the ledge, “woof, woof,” he continues to call spotting the SUV pull up and then Shaw exiting it. “Woof, woof!”

 

Gen also jumps out of the car and runs out to the other side of the vehicle to open the passenger door. Still fast asleep, Gen unhooks the baby carrier from the base.

 

“Careful, Gen” Shaw reminds as she helps Root out of the high sided vehicle, taking her by the arm.

 

Taking a couple of steps out on the sidewalk, Root stops and exhales slowly trying to concentrate on her breathing instead of the pain. Grimacing, “maybe we should have borrowed a wheelchair” Root half teases half serious.

 

Seeing Root hesitate, after all how comfortable can it be trying to walk with fresh internal stitches, Shaw picks Root up and carries her up the steps to their home.

  
“Or this works too” Root comments as she leans her body into Shaw's chest and circles her arms around Shaw's neck.

 

Grabbing the keys from Shaw's jacket pocket, Root opens the door to Bear jumping on them, “woof, woof” he greets excitedly.

 

“Excuse us, Bear” Root apologises as Shaw barges past him and places Root down slowly on the couch in the living room.

  
“Woof, woof” Bear continues to call from the top step by the front door as he spots Gen, limping.

 

Struggling to carry the weight, Gen looks up in relief at Shaw striding towards her. Taking the carrier from Gen, “can you grab the presents kiddo, as Shaw takes a moment to place a reassuring hand on Gen's head.

 

Nodding, Gen smiles back at Shaw before going back to the SUV and doing exactly that.

 

Reaching the doorway, “woof, woof, woof” Bear barks loudly and in quick succession in excitement, his tail wagging furiously side to side.

 

“WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!” As the scream rocks the walls of the home and shakes down the entire block.

 

Bear instantly backs away from Shaw and starts whining, retreating to the living room in confusion.

 

“Hm.....” Shaw frowns as she quickly carries the carrier and Harry up the stairs to the nursery.

 

Entering the room it was nice and warm, set at the right temperature. The Machine must have switched the heating on and started monitoring it for their arrival home.

 

“Aaaaaaaaah......” Harry continues to scream and cry, the pitch of the sound starting to shake Shaw to the core.

 

Unclipping him as fast as she could, Shaw lifts Harry and places him on her chest and shoulder, swaying and rubbing his back, “sssssh..... Sssssssh......” Shaw continues to soothe, “it's OK Harry, you're home now.”

 

Bear pushes his nose timidly through the gap in the door and walks into the room apprehensively. Walking towards and looking up at Shaw, Bear whines.

 

“Ssssssh, Harry, Bear's sorry, see” as Shaw turns around to show Harry.

 

Almost like he was hiccuping air, Harry's crying starts to fade, then stops abruptly as he tries to stick his fist into his mouth while eyeing Bear.

 

Crouching down, “Bear, this is Harry” Shaw introduces.

 

Bear pushes his nose up and nudges Harry on the arm, “woof” and Harry starts crying again. Shocked, Bear backs away again whining.

 

“It's OK, Bear” Root pats him on the head as she walks into the nursery room and joins them. Sitting down on the nursery chair Shaw hands Harry to her before retrieving a blanket and the feeding pillow.

  
“Ugh” Gen comments as she grimaces and drops all the presents by the nursery room door before swiftly exiting it again before Root unbuttoned another button from her top. “Come on, Bear!” Gen calls from the hall, shutting the nursery room door as soon as Bear darts out too.

 

Root chuckles at Gen's reaction, all the while Shaw is just standing gazing at Root's chest. “Like what you see, Sweetie?” Root teases as she watches Shaw watching her, before stretching an arm out to Shaw, beckoning Shaw towards her.

 

Stepping forward and taking Root's hand and holding it, Shaw sits on the foot rest facing Root and continues to be mesmerised watching Harry grab, bite (ouch) then latch onto Root's tit.

 

Looking up at Root, Shaw could see peace. A serenity that Shaw too shared, and all is calm again....

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

_\------------- 'but giving up was not a choice.'_

 

 

 

“Sameen......” Root calls softly pulling Shaw from her sleep.

 

Straining to flicker her eyelids open, “hmm?” Shaw stretches her arm over to pull Root closer to her, only as soon as Shaw touches Root Shaw jolts up, her eyes flying open.

 

Covered in sweat and also going through obvious hot flushes, Shaw turns on and keeps the night light beside her bedside table at a dim setting, careful not to wake Harry who was on the opposite side of the bed next to Root, sound asleep in his own sleeper.

 

As there is now light, Shaw can now see Root clearly as she remains curled up on her side in pain. “Can you move?”

 

“Ugh.......” Was all Root could muster.

 

Quickly getting out of bed Shaw darts down to the kitchen and places a warmer to heat in the microwave.

 

Bear wakes and peeks his head up towards the light and noise in the kitchen before cantering slowly towards Shaw and nudging her on the leg whining.

 

Yawning Shaw reaches down and scratches Bear on the head, “sorry, buddy, looks like no one is getting any better sleep tonight either.”

 

As the microwave beeps Shaw retrieves the warmer before striding back up the stairs and Bear returns to his bed.

 

Handing Root the warmer, Root instantly hugs into it, squeezing it tight next to her stomach.

 

Shaw then goes to retrieve some fresh sheets and towels. Noting that Root wasn't going to move anytime soon, Shaw pulls the duvet from the bed and covers Root temporarily with a fleece overthrow, which Root just discards again to the side as it lands on top of the duvet.

 

Shaw quickly changes the duvet cover and slips a beach sized towel under Root via the gap in her lower back and then pulling it down to past her bum. Grabbing another, Shaw again slips the towel underneath from Root's lower back but this time Shaw draws it up towards her shoulder. Root was now lying on two dry towels and they were separating her from the damp sheets underneath.

 

When Shaw learnt to change the linen in hospitals, and how to draw a blanket or foil underneath a patient, especially out in the field, without moving them, she never imagined she would need to use these skills in a situation like this, but it was effective.

  
Frowning, Shaw grabs another large soft cotton fluffy and takes pity on Root. This was the third night running in which she was experiencing extreme night sweats. Leaning down Shaw wraps Root's upper torso and begins to half cuddle and half dry Root off, working her way down meticulousness to Root's feet.

 

“Uuuugh......” Root continues to groan.

 

If Root wasn't in so much pain and exhaustion this would be the moment where she would make her casual and trademark remark about how a girl needs to be this pitiful to get so much proactive attention and cuddles spurning from Shaw's own will, but Root was not in her right frame of mind to even be remotely able to even hint at an innuendo or tease. This only made Shaw more pitiful on her as these _experiences_ after childbirth are not what are usually advertised, they leave these horrifying details out.

 

Finished drying Root, Shaw then kisses Root on the shoulder before retrieving the duvet and continuing to pull a fresh cover over it. Quickly finishing Shaw then pulls it over quickly back over Root.

 

“Too hot” Root complains as she tries to throw it off only to be stopped by a forceful Shaw who has now climbed back into bed and lying beside her. Shaw having her arms across Root's body and holding both arms down to stop Root from removing the duvet, Root tries to wriggle free but he was a useless plight as she signs in defeat, “Sameen, too hot....” Root pleads as she changes for a softer tactical approach.

 

“Root, you're soaking wet with sweat. Either you get up and change, or this stays where it is. You can't catch a cold on top of everything else!”

 

Stopping fidgeting and whining Root let's Shaw continue to hold her for a while before, “I'll change.”

 

Breaking her resolve with a smile and a small victory chuckle later Shaw lets go of Root and both are relieved as neither of them liked the feeling of sticky wet cloth on skin.

 

On queue,Harry stirs. Then whines. Then starts wriggling more until inevitably, “wwwaaaaaa......”

 

Hanging her head into her chest it was Shaw to embrace defeat as she takes a moment to sigh, then move. Moving out of bed, Shaw quick marches around the bed and to the side sleeper to pick Harry up before whisking him away, leaving Root to, hopefully change into some fresh pyjamas before going back to sleep.

 

Trudging down the stairs and to the kitchen again, this time Bear ignoring them, Shaw goes to retrieve Harry's milk from the fridge with Harry still swaying in her arms. “Ssssssh..... SSShhhh.... Awwww... Harry, it's OK, supper will be ready in a few seconds, ssssh” Shaw tries to comfort.

 

Continuing to cry Harry pauses momentarily to inhale breath, sniffing, then crying again.

 

Luckily Root had managed to pump some extra milk that night, but Shaw notes she needs to buy a mini fridge to put in the nursery room so she nor Root needed to trudge down the stairs to the fridge every night.

 

To that The Machine hears Shaw and orders one to be delivered later in the afternoon.

 

 

_\-----------------------------------_

 

_Early March, 2017:_

 

“It maybe a public place but stalking is still illegal.”

 

Jumping slightly Seda turns back around on the seat under the bus shelter and looks to the right to see a tall man in a black suit and large heavy overcoat leaning on the end of the shelter. With a low husky voice Seda couldn't read him as his expression remained neutral but he looked straight at her. “Do I know you?” As Seda sits a little straighter and returns to looking out of the shelter and down the road for the bus.

 

“She won't be back to the hospital for another few weeks” Reese answering Seda's silent question, “maternity leave.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Seda asks slightly annoyed at this man, this stranger who has seemingly seen right through her. Was she really that transparent?

 

“What's your intention?” Reese asks as he watches Seda continue to look everywhere but at him and pretending not to understand. “We know you've been following her. What's your intention?” Reese repeats more firmly.

 

Turning and standing to face the man in the suit. “Who are you? What are you talking about?” As Seda looks the man up and down sceptically. “Are you drunk?”

 

With a slight smirk and standing up straight, Reese also pulls at his jacket to smooth out the ruffles before turning back to Seda, “a concerned third party, Ma'am.”

 

Despite being a third of his size Seda takes a step towards Reese and looks straight back glaring at him fiercely, “well mind your own own business third party, I'm not scared of people like you, I know my rights!” As she snaps back defensively.

 

Reese remains quiet as the bus pulls up and Seda steps on board. Watching the bus pull away, Reese couldn't help but smirk. Taking out his phone, “Root?.... No, it didn't go so well but she certainly leaves an impression...... Sure, I'll be right over.” Hanging up the phone and placing it back in his pocket, Reese walks back to the Carter-Turing hospital car park behind him.

 

\---

 

Chuckling a little Root hands Reese a mug of freshly brewed coffee as he sits at her kitchen table.

 

“Do you think....” Finch starts before stopping. He hesitates as he looks up at Root who was now leaning on part of the counter top near the coffee machine.

 

Reese continues to sit solemnly nursing his mug of coffee as he watches Grace walking around the living room holding and swaying Harry as she sings to him and leaving the others to work out their intervention plan.

 

Finch continues, “are you sure, Ms Groves, that we should continue this?”

  
“When Shaw finds out she'll be mad” Reese adds before looking up at Root too. “There's a reason why none of us talk about our past.”

 

“I think it's too late for that Mr Reese. The truth of the matter is we didn't go looking, Ms Shaw's past came searching for her” Finch replies pushing up his glasses. “The question is, should we be.. Intervening?” As Finch looks back at Root for her thoughts.

 

“I think.... Sameen already knows” Root concedes. “She's been a little distracted sometimes, and She” as Root points a finger towards her right ear, “has said Sameen has been asking to view CCTV footage of a woman she knows has been following us.”

 

“She knows” Reese confirms before stopping as they all hear the front door open and Bear comes bounding back into the room towards them barking. Shaw's shadow seen closing the front door shut again before walking into the room herself a few seconds later and ending all conversation on the subject momentarily.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

Holding Harry, Shaw smiles down at her son as he giggles and kicks his arms and legs out. In and out, in and out, and now waving his arms in synchronisation with his legs too. Bouncing him and herself as she breathes out a puff of hot hair that steams up instantly in her face, “it's cold isn't it kiddo?” Shaw comments more than asks as her son continues to wriggle and gurgle cluelessly. “What's taking Root so long?” Shaw pulls Harry's hat further down his head and adjusting it over his ears before hugging him closer into her chest.

 

As Shaw turns around and starts to pace around randomly, a few steps here and a few steps there, Shaw steps away from and returns back to the ice cream parlour periodically to peer into the window. Spotting no sign of Root, Shaw starts to pace again, but this time as she steps away from the shop window she near bumps into a petite middle aged woman with jet dark hair and a brown grocery bag hugged closely into her chest, an arm under it supporting it's weight.

 

“Oh, I'm sorry” the woman offers as she looks up.

 

Nodding Shaw says no more and promptly turns away again to finish pacing back to the ice cream parlour window.

 

Tensing her arm and hugging the grocery bag tighter Seda doesn't move as she remains frozen to the spot, her mouth remaining parted but no further sound would emit from them. Caught off guard and not expecting to see Sameen so up close and personal so soon, Seda's courage is lost in fright as she closes her mouth again and slowly walks away.

 

Root who was just exiting the ice cream parlour at that point witnesses the short exchange and notices the hesitation made by Seda before walking away on her journey again.

 

“Root!” Shaw calls annoyed. “It's cold, hurry up” as Shaw interrupts and gently nudges Root urging her to move as Root too was now standing frozen on the spot.

 

Focusing back on Shaw and Harry, Root grabs the pushchair and rolls it trying to catch up with Shaw, who has already walked ahead of her with Harry still in her arms.

 

 

\---

 

“You were right there! And you didn't say a thing?!” Andy remarks incredulously.

 

Shaking her head at Andy, Linda tries a more subtle approach, coaxing, “she... Didn't recognise you?”

 

Nodding, it was obvious Seda was disappointed.

 

“So....”

 

Cutting in like a lit ignition that can't be stopped, “you're never going to approach her? Ask her? You came to New York for this reason. You searched for years, only to not ask?! What are you thinking? You were right there?” Andy keeps pushing, ultimately frustrated for her.

 

Slapping Andy on the arm, “you're not helping!” Linda admonishes before turning back to Seda, who's head has now dropped onto the table in regret. Softly encouraging, “you have to at least ask her. You've come all this way and you can't just leave not knowing when you're this close. You said it before yourself, it's better knowing, good or bad.”

 

But all Seda could do was just sit in one of the hard and uncomfortable plastic chairs in the canteen of the Soup Kitchen, her thoughts weighing heavily on her mind. Seda's world was now colliding as she emotionally hops between the thin horizon of hope and fear, too afraid to hear the answer. _'What am I doing?....'_

 

\---

 

Standing in the doorway and watching Shaw tap on one of Root's many laptops, Root spots the CCTV footage of that same woman being played on the monitor. The Machine confirms to both Shaw via the laptop, and Root via her cochlear, that the woman is _still_ following them before proceeding to show Shaw footage of Reese at the bus shelter confronting her.

  
Root walks into the room, “hey Sweetie.” Interrupting, Shaw quickly closes the windows and powers down the laptop. Seeing Shaw do this Root uses this as a hint that Shaw wasn't ready to talk about this, yet. So instead Root half sits and half leans on the arm rests on Shaw's chair and curls her arms around Shaw's shoulder, embracing her, “wanna watch a movie with me?”

 

As Shaw turns in the swivel chair, “hmm..... Or maybe you have something else in mind” as Root teases and proceeds to climb onto Shaw's lap repositioning herself.

 

Shaw's head, eyes and expression instantly drops. Exhausted Shaw wasn't sure she had the will to face this too.

 

Placing a hand on Shaw's cheek, Root caresses it with her thumb in worry.

 

“Waaaaaaa......” As Harry's cry via the baby monitor interrupts their moment.

 

\---

 

 

“I.... Never was close with, her” Seda offers, starting to open up a little more.

 

Linda and Andy share a quick glance at each other.

 

“She was.... I was never good at....” Pausing and sighing loudly, “my husband was the strong one....”

 

Linda takes Seda's hand and squeezes it. “Whatever mistakes you've made in the past you have to at least try amend it now before it's too late. Time heals, but time also erodes if you don't mend the hole.” Linda urges, “have courage.”

  
Seda looks up to see Linda staring hard back at her in encouragement. Shifting her attention to Andy, Andy nods at her in agreement, his expression just as full of conviction as Linda's.

 

\---

 

Turning up the heat a little in the nursery room, just to be on the safe side, Shaw sits back down onto the rug on the floor and places Harry onto a blanket, also on top of the rug in front of her. “Hey kiddo, you want a massage?”

 

“Oooooh, Momma wants one” Root interrupts as she smirks teasingly entering into the room and quickly closing the door behind her again. Watching Shaw glare at her, “don't mind me” Root grins as she makes herself comfortable on the floor next to them.

 

So ignoring Root, Shaw goes to undress Harry. Wriggling, twisting and turning, Harry makes it difficult for Shaw to undress him.

 

Root stifles a laugh and is rewarded with Shaw's narrowed eye glare before, “not helpful” Shaw chides.

 

Finally undressing Harry and handing the clothes to Root, who gets up to place it on the baby changing table while Shaw gets started.

 

Squirting a finger tip worth of baby oil onto her hand, Shaw takes Harry's and starts massaging down his leg slowly and delicately, rubbing at his skin and penetrating the muscles with precision. Reaching the heel Root watches as Shaw works her thumbs and kneads them into the sole of Harry's foot like an accurate acupuncturist.

 

Harry shakes his hips and waves his hands in reaction and Root can't help but wonder if Shaw has done this previously before promptly stopping, before her imagination runs away with her and she starts to turn jealously into envy.

 

“Keeeeeeee” Harry gurgles in delight before turning his head and staring up at Root.

 

“Isn't Mama's massages good, Harry?” Bending down again and touching Harry's nose with her finger as she simultaneously also sits back down onto the rug facing Shaw. “Did that tickle? Did Mama tickle you, Harry?” Harry giggles and wriggles and Root continues, “did she, did she, did she?”

 

_Squeal_...... Followed by an earthquake of movements from her son as he shakes his body violently in exhilaration.

 

Having to stop, Shaw glares at Root incredulously.

 

Closing her lips together and pressing them into each other, Root composes herself and lets Shaw continue.

 

In a clockwise motion, Shaw rubs around Harry's belly, which causes him to sneeze.

 

Scrunching and squashing his face into it's self Root grabs a tissue to wipe the drool and snot from his face. Transforming Harry's face back to a smiling happy giggly one.

 

Sitting Harry up, Shaw turns him around to face Root.

 

_Squeal....._ As Harry spots his Mom and instinctively lifts his small arms up towards Root, reaching for her. Harry's smile starts to turn upside down when he doesn't reach her.

 

Spotting this Root instantly lifts her own arms and takes Harry's, holding them straight for Shaw while, “you looking for me?” Root teases Harry, “you looking for me?”

 

Massaging down Harry's arm, Shaw starts on the inside and rotates around the arm before repeating it on the other one.

 

Root watches as Harry's mouth drops wide open and stares at his own fingers as if an amazing scientific discovery had just been made. Drooling and stretching his mouth wider open Root couldn't help but laugh. “I think he's enjoying this” Root confirms to Shaw as she wipes yet more drool from his mouth.

 

Finished with the arms, Shaw lays Harry back down flat on his back and places two fingertips on either side of his cheeks to massage that area in a circular motion. Placing a fingertip in the space between Harry's upper lip and below the nose, his moustache line, Shaw traces her finger outwards several times following the line. Shaw does the same motion on the chin, placing two fingertips in the middle of the chin and then drawing it out several times to massage the chin.

 

As Shaw massages Harry's face Harry stops cooperating as he gurgles, laughs, shakes his head side to side and starts kicking out restlessly with his legs before trying to grab his feet with his hands.

  
Root who was now moved to reposition herself behind Shaw, leans into Shaw's back and drops her head onto Shaw's shoulder and curls her arms around Shaw's abdomen. “Is it my turn?”

 

Stopping briefly Shaw turns her head to the side to look at Root, who only continues to look down at Harry, smiling happily back at them. Shaking her head, Shaw focuses back on Harry and places him on top of her lap face down. Resting his head and arm on Shaw's thigh, Harry lies still as Shaw draws small circles down either side of his spine, working her way down his back to his butt and back up, repeating this several times. Shaw was very careful not to place pressure on Harry's spine, which reminds Shaw again of his fragility and dependency on her.

  
Seeing how comfortable and relaxed Harry looked as he starts to drift to sleep, Root couldn't help but want that too. Sighing at the peace, Root finally stands and takes one of Harry's sleep suits from the drawer and passes it to Shaw, who then swiftly dresses their son again.

 

Bonding time was over as Shaw carries an already fast asleep Harry, draping him over her shoulder and supporting him with her right arm, while pulling Root with her left arm, the three traipse back to the master bedroom. As Harry sleeps in his side sleeper, all tightly and cosily swaddled, his moms look on wearily. Exhausted, it's doesn't take long before the two adults also joined him in sleep also.

 

Like clockwork, exactly four hours later and hungry, Harry belts out in full cry. Jolted awake, Root and Shaw's broken sleep continues...

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

\----------- ' Looking back you regret the past,'

 

_Present, Community Garden, March 2017:_

“Shuuuuush, shuuuushh...... Oh, shuuuush, Harry” Root shushes trying to sooth Harry from his crying, “there's a good boy” as she continues to sway and then hug him close to her chest.

 

“What's wrong with him, hungry, cold?” Shaw wonders as she walks over to them and places a hand on Harry's head, “what's wrong kiddo? You usually like your walks.”

  
“Woof, woof!” Bear calls also in concern.

 

Sniffling and moaning still, Harry continues to rub his forehead into Root's chest as if he was trying to burrow a hole into her.

  
“Look, look, Harry” Root calls as she tries to distract him as she walks up to their family tree and unhooks angel Harry, the wooden figurine Gen had carved for him.

 

Bear follows Root to the tree and then darts off running around the garden again.

 

“Look what Gen made in art class for you? Isn't that pretty?” Root asks as Harry has now stopped crying and is looking wide eyed at the carving in Root's hand before reaching out to try take it. Grabbing it he smiles before promptly shoving it into his mouth and then starts giggling.

 

Dropping her head into her chest, “this kid is driving me insane. One minute he's crying and the next he's laughing like a crazy person” Shaw states incredulously before turning slowly to look at Root, “kinda reminds me of you” she deadpans.

  
Chuckling Root hooks the angel back onto the tree branch and turns around as Shaw picks up the baby back pack carrier from the ground and slips it back on. “Time to go, Darling” Root confirms as she takes Harry's outstretched hand, stopping him from trying to retrieve the figurine from the branch, and kisses it.

 

“Hier, Bear” Shaw calls as he runs back to her and proceeds to clip the lead back on his collar.

 

Seeing his chance Harry grabs at Root's finger and places it in his mouth, sucking on it tastily. Eyebrows raised and looking away from Harry, Root glances at Shaw with a subtle small sway of her body.

 

With the lead in hand, “don't even.....” Shaw warns in reply to Root's innuendo.

 

Root's smirk only grows wider at Shaw's rejection as she starts walking through the garden and towards the gate.

 

As Root exits the garden through the gate first she spots the petite middle aged woman across the street standing behind a van. She wasn't looking their way but Root wasn't going to take any chances as she abruptly stops and turns around forcing Shaw to run into her.

 

As Shaw looks up, “could you hold Harry” as Root thrusts their son into Shaw's arms “for a sec, Sweetie” and pretends to fix her jacket and slip loose pieces of hair under her woolly hat while they continue to walk out of the garden and onto the street, turning towards home. Not sure if it worked, Root tries her best to block the view of the van and that woman. Not seeing Shaw reacting in any unusual way though, Root concludes that Shaw hadn't noticed.

 

 

Turning around Seda finally spots the tall brunette and Dr Turing just exiting the garden. Seda doesn't know why but she quickly moves to behind the van and hides from their line of sight, peering back towards them from the back of the van, watching as they disappear further down the street. Smiling, _'he's beautiful'_ as Seda spots the babe's smiling face, his chubby cheeks and those small round eyes.

 

“Seda?”

 

Seda turns around to find Linda standing behind her, looking at her questioningly as she herself now becomes acutely aware of the contagious smile still spreading across her face.

 

“What's gotten into you, you're grinning cheek to cheek?” Linda continues to ask bemused at Seda's elated expression.

 

\-------

 

Walking through the front door Harry continues to whine. “Aaaaaaah,” Harry starts sniffling as he struggles to suck in small quantities of air in between his cries.

 

“Oooooh” as Shaw carries him upstairs to the nursery, “shuuuush, shuuush....” Moving quickly Shaw pushes open the nursery room and Harry momentarily stops crying as he looks around.

 

Chuckling, Shaw watches as Harry reaches out to help her close the door again.

 

Moving to the radiator, Shaw turns up the heat and then moves to the baby changing table. “Phew....... Kiddo, what have you been eating?” Shaw teases as she changes his diaper and cleans him before placing him in a fresh new sleep suit taken from the drawer underneath the changing table.

 

“Eeeeeeehhh......” Harry gurgles gleefully as Shaw walks him around the room.

 

“Who's that Harry?” As Shaw points and shows Harry the photos in the frames, all created and hung up by Gen. “Is that..... Mama?” Shaw asks as she smiles down at Harry.

 

“Aaaaa” Harry giggles as he widens his eyes and mouth before promptly shoving his fingers into his mouth.

 

“Who's that Harry” as Shaw points at another photo. “Is that....... Mama, again?”

 

“Aaa.... Aaa.....” Harry giggles again as Shaw bounces and sways him in his arms.

 

“That's not fair, Sameen, you can't just teach Harry one word” Root complains as she continues to lean on the closed door, arms crossed.

 

Not sure when Root had entered the room, Shaw shrugs, “all's fair in love and war.”

 

Tilting her head slightly and walking towards Shaw, “so is _this_ , love, or war, Sameen?” As Root slinks behind Shaw and draws her hand across Shaw's back while smiling at Harry and catching his attention.

 

“Eeeh” as Harry happily stretches both his arms out for Root. Not able to reach her, Harry starts crying.

 

“Traitor” Shaw comments to her son before placing him in Root's lap, Root who is now sitting in the nursery chair with the feeding pillow on her lap.

 

Stifling a chuckle, “it's war then?” As Root lifts her top and waits for Harry to latch onto her nipple.

 

“You cheat with those”

 

Silently laughing, “can I help it that this family seems to follow their stomach?”

  
“Not always” and Shaw leans down and kisses Root full on the lips.

 

\---

 

 

Finally sleeping again, head resting sideways on Root's shoulder, Root walks back into her bedroom. Empty. Looking around she spots light shining out around the corners of an unclosed bathroom door. Quickly placing Harry back into the side sleeper, all tucked in, Root paces towards the bathroom. Reaching it she slowly and gently pushes open the door.

 

Shaw was leaning on the counter top, hovering above the sink. Her head had fallen into her chest as the usually thick and deep Shaw defences were no where to be seen, the mood of the room soberingly still. _'Is Shaw thinking of......?'_

 

Walking over Root wraps her arms around Shaw's body and rests her chin on her shoulder, instantly feeling the weight of the burden in Shaw's head as Root feels Shaw's body heave and strain at another long and deep breath. Root desperately wanted to take Shaw away from it all.... Caught in thought, Root doesn't realise and is caught off guard as she finds herself suddenly looking into Shaw's eyes, at her anger.

 

Shaw, having turned around, reaches out and grabs Root's wrist, harder than Root had anticipated. Harder than what Shaw had realised. As the sting disperses up around her lower arm, Root is suddenly very aware of her own quickened breath. Root couldn't help but feel a sudden chill flicker through her, unsure of what was going to follow.... But Shaw remained still, her eyes still glazed over with anger, to helplessness, back to anger and to then to confusion.

 

Watching Shaw painfully try to work out her emotions and not knowing how to process them, Root makes the decision for her. With Shaw's hand still tightly gripped around Root's wrist, Root uses this by forcefully pulling her arm towards herself and bringing Shaw closer to her.

 

As Shaw crashes into Root, she lets go of Root's wrist, unaware that she was still holding it. With barely any time to register what was happening, Shaw finds herself being pulled back tight into Root as their lips smack together violently.

 

They indulge, frenziedly kissing, biting and pushing into each other. Their hands holding and squeezing where ever they landed. Then Shaw suddenly stops and pulls away.

 

Not letting Shaw leave Root curls her arms around Shaw's arm and anchors her to the spot, “Sameen, talk to me. Please?”

 

Silence.

 

After a moment's pause, _'fine!...'_ Root reaches up and pulls down hard on Shaw's hair and almost ripping some strands from her head.

 

As Shaw yelps at the sudden unexpected acute pain, she also finds Root diving in and biting down just as hard on her now exposed neck. “Aaaaaargh!” As Shaw takes a firm grip on either side of Root's arms and pushes Root back off her. Frustrated at the internal turmoil, and now the external pain, Shaw's anger returns as she continues to fume. Anger was good, Shaw knew anger.

 

Root watches helplessly on again as Shaw's body starts to shake, the anger starting to consume Shaw once again. Moving her hand and placing it gently under Shaw's chin, Root lifts her head and stares straight into Shaw's eyes, “I see you Sameen Shaw...... ”

 

This was enough to bring Shaw back to Root as her expression softens and the glaze disappears, allowing her to reconnect with Root, staring back into Root's eyes.

 

“I see you Sameen Shaw” Root repeats as she pulls Shaw closer, embracing her....

 

 

Through the darkness, the quiet eeriness, Root shuffles closer and curls into Shaw, watching her while she sleeps. “Sameen” Root whispers as she kisses Shaw on the shoulder, “I'm right here” she confirms in a whisper.

 

\----

 

 

Waking to Root fast asleep beside her, Shaw then glances behind as a pair of staring eyes catches her attention. Quickly and gently getting out of bed, Shaw walks to the other side of the room. Reaching him, Shaw scoops up her son as he giggles softyly at her warm embrace. Placing Harry onto her chest, Shaw kisses his head and whispers, “morning Harry,” before walking out the room, smiling.

 

Root wakes from the light shaking of the bed. Opening her eyes slowly Root watches as Shaw lifts Harry from the side sleeper. Already wriggling and fully awake Harry was waiting quietly for either of his mom's attention. _'Good boy, Harry'_  as Root catches Shaw smiling again, a small smile also creeping over Root as she continues to watch Shaw exit the bedroom.

 

Still reluctant to open up to her, this is to be the start of a long journey for Shaw. Root shifts onto her side and reaches out to pick up her phone. Dialling, “can you meet me, John?.... Yes, tonight after Shaw leaves for work.”

 

 

\---------------------------

 

_Soup Kitchen:_

 

Looking up from the guest she was chatting to, it was a slow evening, but Linda spots a couple of very tall and smartly dressed people make their way directly towards Seda, who is in a closed off section in the corner of the seating area. In a panic Linda moves quickly towards Seda too but stops close by, hovering, for support.

 

Pushing the seat under the table, Seda proceeds to place the cloth on the table to wipe it down. A body stands in front of her prompting her to look up. Looking up to the tall brunette standing over her, Seda stands straight again and also spots Linda and the man in the black suit standing close by, each in their own space. Quickly realising the situation Seda looks around the tall woman.

 

“She's not here” Root states waiting for Seda to stop looking around and return her attention to her.

 

As Shaw was at the hospital, Iris was instructed to keep an eye on her there while Finch and Grace happily take care of Harry and Bear.

 

When Seda finally does return her attention to Root, Root repeats, “She's not here. She doesn't know we're here either.”

 

“So then, why are you?”

 

“What do you want!?”

 

Surprised, Reese is taken back by Root's anger, did something happen since they last spoke?

 

Seda, also surprised by Root's anger, looks past her and to the man in the black suit before coolly and calmly replying, “are you a concerned third party too?” Adamant that she would not let this woman bully her either.

 

“I think you know who I am by now” Root replies abruptly, “ you've been following us long enough to know by now” she continues to snap.

 

Giving up the pretence, Seda quietly continues, “does.... She know?”

 

“Know what, that _you're_ here? Who _you_ are?... I would tell you to ask her yourself instead of sneaking around, but I won't let you hurt her again! What do you want from us?! Haven't you done enough damage already?”

 

There is a short pause as Seda processes the information, then, “I wasn't sure, before, but now that you're here....”

 

Diverted by the reply Root creases her forehead at the realisation. By being there in the Soup Kitchen confronting Seda like this, it just confirmed Shaw's identity to her.

 

All this time Seda still wasn't sure of Shaw's identity, especially after bumping into her with Harry outside the ice cream parlour that day and Shaw had reacted as though they were strangers. But now Seda was certain.

 

Hesitating further, “Does.... Does she,” as Seda looks up at Root expectantly, “talk about me?”

  
“Not once, not even now” Root confirms, to both their detriment.

 

Watching on, “she means no harm” Linda finally steps in, “she really doesn't” as she tries to convince Root and encourage, “Seda, come on, tell her!” Linda urges, not wanting to continue watching this tense and painful exchange come to nothing.

 

Firmly pressing her lips together, the remorse and guilt once again overwhelms Seda as she looks down onto the table. Silence......

 

“Root,” Reese steps forward and gently encourages, “maybe we should come back, the woman's obviously in shock.”

 

Annoyed and staring down hard at the top of Seda's head, Root reluctantly starts to leave with the help of Reese's arm gently pulling her away.

 

“I'm sorry.” It was a whisper but they had heard it. Root stops, her back still haunched but Reese turns back around to look at Seda. “I'm sorry” she repeats, this time a bit louder. “I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. She has every right to be angry at me”

 

“Angry?” Root turns back around also and shouts, a little louder than intended. Now pacing quickly back towards Seda, “she's not angry, I would take her being angry! She's confused, denies you're even here! You've hurt her so deeply and she didn't even know it, until you showed up again!”

 

Reese watches as Root's chest rapidly rises and falls again as she takes in short sharp breaths.  Reese also observes Root's tightly clenched fists and her knuckles turning white as she tries to remain calm.

 

All the while Linda watches as Seda's expression turns to exasperation, her mouth hanging slightly open as she too is unable to process the acute guilt and hurt from Root's confirmation. The situation was worse than what she had imagined.

 

“What do you want?!” Root snarls at the frustration of Seda's continued silence. At least with this trait mother and daughter were stubbornly alike.

 

Finally breathing out, “forgiveness” as Seda looks to Root with a glimmer of hope, swallowing hard. “I'm sorr..”

 

“No point telling me that” Root dismisses callously.

  
“So you will allow...”

 

“If you hurt her again I swear!.....” Root stops as Reese places a hand firmly on Root's shoulder and squeezes it, grounding her again. Turning to see Reese's gentle smile, Root calms and regains herself.

  
Nodding, “thank you” Seda acknowledges.

 

“Come on” Reese urges as he slowly turns Root around to leave, “I think she understands” and gently pushes her out towards the door not risking another round of heated exchanges.

  
After a moment's reluctance Root finally leaves. As Reese follows behind Root, Linda quickly moves to meet Reese and shoves a letter into his hand before watching them both exit.

 

“I'm going for some air” Seda calls as she walks towards the hallway leading to the small office, where the lockers were, and grabs her jacket.

 

Following her in concern, “are you sure, I can come with if you want?” Linda offers as she watches Seda now stick her hands into the zipped up jacket pockets and head towards the door.

 

Stopping abruptly and feeling around her jacket pockets Seda turns around and looks along the ground before walking back to the locker to search for it.

 

“I gave it to the suit”

 

Stopping, turning and looking up at Linda, Linda repeats, “that letter you kept pawing , I gave it to the man in the suit”

 

Seda's expression drops to one of horror and fear.

 

“I'm sorry, it had to be done! It's just so... Frustrating, watching you!”

 

With her mouth slightly agape, Seda closes it again. Linda meant well, and it was also too late now.

 

“Maybe this will be a good thing, she needs to know. Or maybe not, but at least you'll know!” Linda furthers in her defence.

 

Closing her eyes briefly, still labouring to breathe, Seda opens them again and repeats, “I need some air” before exiting out the back door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

_\----------- ' but all the damage done has last.'_

 

 

“Sameen?” As Root peeks into the living room when she makes it to the bottom of the stairs.

  
Being carried in his Mom's arms, “Eh?” Harry calls back in reply.

  
Giggling, Root takes Harry's hand and kisses it, “Mama's not in here, where can Mama be?” and moves towards the kitchen.

 

“Sameen?” Root tries again.

 

“Woof!” As Bear saunters towards her.

  
“Ah?” Harry replies again, this time pointing down at Bear with his wide eyes and widening smile.

 

Looking down at Bear, “morning Bear” as she continues towards the kitchen table.

 

Lying on the table was Shaw's work satchel, and the jacket she usually wore to work was hanging on the back of the chair. The letter that Reese had handed to her from outside the Soup Kitchen however, was gone, as Root had left it on the kitchen table for Shaw.

 

Breaking the silence, “Eeeeee.....?” Harry begins to question and cry as he watches his Mom now frowning in concern.

 

Turning and smiling at her son, “looks like Mama needs some alone time, shall we take Bear for a walk?” As Root changes the subject and looks at both Harry and then down at Bear.

 

“Woof!” As Bear agrees with the idea.

 

\---

 

_Pant..... Pant.... Pant...._

 

The cooling breeze blusters past Shaw and rattles the swings. The plastic seats sway as the metal chains holding them into position creek at the movement.

 

_Pant..... Pant.... Pant...._

 

Shaw blinks and watches as another runner sprints past her and reaches the end of the tree lined avenue and turns down towards the play park. Shaw herself turns towards the pond, circling it a few times before stopping at a random park bench.

 

_Pant..... Pant.... Pant...._

 

Shaw continues to hear her heart beat working hard as tries to control her breathing whilst also stretching out the knots in her shoulders and back. It was good to be out in the fresh air, some time to herself. Absent minded, Shaw starts to register what she was focusing on, children queuing up to buy ice cream and candies at the ice cream stall.

 

“ _Dad?” As Sameen looks up at her father, “can I get an ice cream?”_

 

_Chuckling, Sameen's father turns to face her and then crouches down, a dollar bill in between his fingers, “for my beautiful daughter, always” he boasts proudly._

 

_Grabbing the dollar bill, Sameen lets go of her father's hand and runs to the ice cream stall._

 

 

Finishing tying her shoe lace, Shaw stands back up and starts to retrace her steps, running home again. 

 

\---

 

Hearing the front door open Shaw hears Root return home, Harry squealing and Bear's paws scuffing across the floorboards in the kitchen, most likely running towards his water bowl. Shaw closes her eyes and listens for a while the sounds of doors closing, footsteps and chattering before unconsciously zoning out again.

 

 

Slowly walking past Root peers in and spots Shaw sitting in the study, her back lying stretched out on the office chair, her eyes closed. Walking in with Harry in her arms, Root places a hand on Shaw's head massaging it lightly, “Sweetie, did you get any sleep?” Before spotting the letter sitting on the desk in front of them.... “What, does it say?”

 

Shaw doesn't speak but grabs the letter and lifts it over her shoulder and handing it to Root.

 

Root takes it, but the envelope was still sealed.

 

Harry begins to cry from the tension which makes Shaw shoot up from her seat and take him from Root. “I'm sorry bud, my bad” Shaw soothes as she sways him in his arms, “don't cry” she continues to reassure him as she takes his hand and draws it to her lips, kissing his fingers, then his forehead. “Mama's sorry... How is Harry today?” Shaw distracts their son, “where did Mommy take you today? Did she take you for a walk?” Shaw starts to also walk around the room as she interacts with Harry.

 

Watching Shaw, Root realises now why Shaw got so frustrated and angry with her at Gara Falls Ranch. It may have happened a long time ago now but Root still remembers it vividly. What must Shaw have thought when she had accused her of leaving, something her own mother did to her. Was it crushing, or worse, disappointing, just like how Shaw was feeling now? Reaching out herself, Root grabs Shaw and pulls her in to embrace her.  Embracing Shaw with her own shroud of guilt. Shaw would not cry, so Root does it for her as a few tears starts to fall from her eye.

 

Sensing the ongoing tension and increasing sadness in the room Harry starts crying louder, wailing...  This prompts Root to stop and take a step back.  Wiping the drying tear stains from her own cheek with her palm, Root watches Shaw move out of the room and to the nursery.  

 

“Shhhhhuuuu, sssssshuuuuu, shuuuu....” Shaw soothes as she continues to bounce Harry in her arms, her hushes echoing down the hallway along with Harry's cries.

 

\---

 

Shaw slowly rises from the bed and watches Root napping along with Harry in his side sleeper. Watching Root sleep for a few minutes longer, Shaw then gets up, and leaves the house....

 

\---

 

 

Sitting at a bar in clear view of one of the handful of CCTV cameras situated in that area, Shaw continues to nurse her drink.

 

“Did it hurt?”

 

Shaw turns to her right to find a medium height and built man in a smartly dressed tailored suit, with short dark hair, clean shaven and amusingly, a lot younger in looks than was expected, standing close next to her.

 

Following on from the silence, which the young man had mistakenly taken as confusion, “when you fell from heaven?” He finishes with a smile, oozing confidence and charm.

 

Shaw lifts her whisky glass and takes another swig, _still_ not interested, she proceeds to order another round for herself without so much as glancing towards the young suitor.

 

Watching the hot petite olive skinned woman place down her now empty whisky glass and _still_ ignoring him, he takes the hint and disappears as quietly as he came.

 

A few more glasses later, Shaw's phone buzzes. Picking it up from the bar she looks at the incoming message, _'Sweetie, it's late, are you coming home tonight?'_

 

“Perhaps it's a woman you're waiting for?”

 

Shaw glances to the left side this time and finds a busty blonde in a tight fitting red dress sitting down next to her, _too_ close, as she brushes Shaw's arm. Shaw puts her phone face down back onto the bar and calls over the bar tender. “Another,” as she lifts her own now empty whisky glass “and a Cosmo.”

 

Lifting her brow at the presumption, which the blonde then puts down as assertiveness, she leans in even closer to Shaw, her cleavage now on full display and whispers into Shaw's ear, “I'll take that as a yes then” before moving away to watch the bar tender place down the two drinks in front of them.

 

As the blonde watches the bar tender walk away again, the blonde then reaches out to retrieve the cocktail for herself, only Shaw stops her by grabbing both drinks. Pulling the whisky towards herself, Shaw continues to push the cocktail to the vacant seat beside her on her right.

 

Peering over Shaw's shoulder at the vacant seat in confusion, the blonde is not sure what to do as her mouth hangs agape at the unexpected scenario. Her torture however soon ends as she finally sees a tall brunette come into view from a small table in the dimly lit seating area behind them. As the tall brunette in her dark blue dress reaches them, she leans onto the petite exotic beauty and drapes an arm across her shoulders.  Taking the Cosmos slowly from the bar, the tall brunette drinks it with her other hand.  

 

As Root finishes the Cosmo, she puts the glass satisfyingly back down onto the bar top before turning and glaring at the blonde, her arm tightly wrapped around Shaw, _her_  Shaw.

 

Looking at the pair the blonde then spots the matching rings on each of their fingers. “You should really keep your domestic at home” she grumbles at having been slighted, and gets up and walks away.

 

Watching the blonde move away Root looks down at Shaw, who is still despondent. Sighing, Root kisses Shaw on the head and starts to walk away also, only Root finds herself being pulled back as Shaw keeps a firm grip of her hand.

 

“Sweetie....” as Root tries to dissuade, watching Shaw as she flicks a finger at the bar tender ordering another shot as she downs what's left in the glass in her hand. Catching the attention of the bar tender, Root shakes her head to cancel the order and the bar tender nods in acknowledgement. “Sweetie, time to go home” Root encourages.

  
Shaw remains still, staring blankly at her now empty glass.

 

“Sameen.....”

 

Still no response.

 

“Sweetie, let go of my hand” Root pleads as she tries to wrangle her hand free from Shaw. Not able to free her hand, Root stands resigned beside Shaw. Watching her for a few more minutes, Root lifts her free hand and places it lightly under Shaw's chin and pulls Shaw's face towards her. “Sameen, you've had enough here.” As Root looks through Shaw's glazed and forlorn eyes. Whispering, “you're family needs you,” leaning down closer still, now nose to nose, “I need you” as Root moves in to kiss Shaw.

 

Shaw slowly moves her face away from Root, rejecting her kiss.

 

Hurt by the rejection, Root sighs again and tries to walk away but Shaw was unrelenting as she continues to squeeze and clamp tight, holding Root's hand. Just as Root was about to open her mouth to speak again Shaw turns abruptly and hops off the stool, making Root scramble to catch her.

 

Stumbling off her bar stool Shaw had had more than she had realised, but not enough to be completely drunk, yet. “Root?” Shaw calls as she looks up at Root, lost.

 

Gripping Shaw by the elbow and helping her to stand, then walk, “come on, Sweetie, let's go home.”

 

 

\---

 

“Are you sure you don't need us?” Grace asks, still concerned as she stands in the doorway of Root and Shaw's family home.

 

“I think we'll be ok now, both are asleep” Root confirms.  

 

“Harold and I are here if you need us, anytime”

 

“Thanks Grace. I appreciate you coming over and looking after Harry this evening. I'm sorry it's so late.”

 

Smiling in reassurance, “you know it's never any trouble” as she turns to see Finch drive and then stop outside the house, there to collect her. “Now go back inside, we'll talk to you tomorrow.”

 

“Goodnight” and Root closes the front door after watching Finch and Grace drive away.

 

The Machine locks the front door and secures the ground floor as Root walks back up the stairs and to her bedroom. As she enters she wanders over to the side sleeper and takes a moment to look down and check on Harry. Smiling, Root turns around and finds a pair of eyes on her. Smiling wider at Shaw's attention on her, Root crawls onto the bed towards her, placing a hand on Shaw's cheek. “Sameen, you can talk to me” Root urges, growing ever more frustrated at Shaw's stifling silence.

 

Shaw sits up and pulls Root into her and kisses her full on the lips. After a moment of just embracing and kissing each other, Shaw grabs both of Root's hands and flips Root onto her back. Straddling Root, Shaw continues to kiss down Root's neck and unzips Root's blue dress.

 

Root sits up to help Shaw remove her dress, and in turn Root starts to pull off Shaw's black top before moving in to bite down hard on Shaw's shoulder.

 

Taking in the pain from her shoulder, Shaw opens her eyes to find Root running her hand over her muscles, rubbing her shoulders, her arms, drawing over her abs.

 

Root continues to admire Shaw's physique, which was still so toned and so strong... Root blushes at the realisation of how her own body has changed unlike Shaw's, and Root suddenly becomes self consciousness.

 

Watching Root dip her chin into her chest, Shaw lifts Root's head and continues to kiss her. Kissing Root on the neck, then sucking on it. Kissing down Root's chest and breasts. Massaging Root's breasts as she continues to kiss and lick down the chest. Getting to the stomach, Shaw playfully nibbles on the remaining baby fat around Root's stomach and waist.

 

Seeing Root laugh at being tickled and teased, Shaw continues down and starts sucking and playing with Root's entrance and clit.

 

“Ugh” Root groans lightly as she pushes and arches her back over the bed. “Hmm, Sameen!” Root groans quietly. Although aware that Harry was still fast asleep beside them, it has been a long few months without Shaw's intimate touch and Root was yearning for more.

 

Feeling and seeing Root get more wet and excited, Shaw continues to play with her, teasing her.

 

“Sameen” Root groans again, only this time Shaw looks up to see Root beckoning her with an outstretched hand.

  
Moving back up and climbing on top of Root once again, Shaw grabs Root's hand and starts slowly kissing up Root's torso, licking and still teasing.

 

 

Root grabs Shaw's head and pulls it towards her own as Root smacks their lips together. Biting and sucking, “aaarh....” Root moans as she breaks the kiss and digs her nails into Shaw's back as she feels Shaw inside her.

 

Though they were inhaling each other fast it was apparent that it wasn't enough as Shaw reaches round to unclasp Root's bra, biting and nipping while Root did the same on Shaw's shoulder, neck and arm. All the while Shaw continuing to work Root up with her fingers.

 

As Shaw licks and sucks on Root's nipples, milk starts to ooze from it. They both stop and laugh, gazing at each other, “maybe I shouldn't do this for a while” Shaw comments as she continues to gaze at Root, who only continues smiling in amusement.

 

Continuing to massage Shaw's head, Shaw moves to kiss Root's breast one more time before stopping. Also removing her fingers from inside Root, Shaw quickly sits up to remove her own pants and underwear.

 

 

As soon as Shaw kicks away her underwear Root pounces on top of her, Root now on top... Root stops their frenzied kissing and leans her forehead onto Shaw's, breathing into Shaw's face and closing her eyes, taking the moment to just be with Shaw.

 

Watching Root be content with just simply being with her, it made Shaw feel calm; have a sense of belonging, except Shaw doesn't know this is what she is feeling. All Shaw knows is, she is calm right now.

 

Opening her eyes and looking straight into Shaw's eyes, smiling at her, Root smirks as she brushes her hand down Shaw's chest. Continuing down and abruptly inserting her fingers, Root watches as Shaw groans and stretches her neck and arch her back at the pleasure.

 

Fully in control, Root hums appreciatively, satisfied at how wet Shaw was as she slides her fingers in and out of Shaw easily.

 

“Uh...” As Shaw continues to groan in relief, throw her head back onto the pillows behind as months of pent up stress is released.

 

It doesn't take long before both orgasm, almost simultaneously. As they finish moaning....

 

“Naaaaaaa” and both Root and Shaw look to the side, their eyes on Harry as he stirs, briefly shaking the side sleeper, before everything is quiet again.

 

Both look back at each other and release the breath they were holding.  With their hearts still beating fast, they pant in recovery.

 

Not content, Root continues to straddle Shaw, kissing her, biting her, digging her nails into Shaw. “Sweetie,” as Root looks down at Shaw, eyes still dilated, “don't stop” she pleads, for round two.

 

Smirking, Shaw obliges....

 

 

“Ugh.....” As Root stops and closes her eyes in pain.

 

Shaw stops at Root's grimace, before looking down and seeing a little stream of blood trickle down Root's thigh and onto Shaw's. Sitting straighter up, Shaw slowly withdraws her fingers from inside Root, and sees that her fingers are now also dusted with a small coating of blood.

 

Frowning, Shaw waits for Root to open her eyes again, and Root does so as the pain subsides. “Sssss....” Root breathes in the last of the pain sensation and breathes an exhale of relief.

 

Shaw leans forward and pecks Root on the lips before flipping Root back onto the bed, gently as Shaw cradles Root's head. “Wait here” Shaw instructs as she jumps off the bed intending for the bathroom. Forgetting that she was still a little drunk, Shaw stumbles but regains herself in time to stop herself from falling face down onto the floor. Taking a moment, Shaw stands and reorientates herself.

 

Root watches Shaw in bemusement, it's not everyday she gets to see Shaw stumble like this.  

 

Shaw strides towards their ensuite bathroom, and once inside she washes her hands, Shaw then grabs a couple of fresh towels from the cupboard and the first aid kit from one of the drawers. Throwing the items near Root's thighs on the empty side of the bed, Shaw jerks Root awake as she shakes the bed. Looking and hovering over Root, “pain, or tired?” Shaw asks, not sure whether Root was asleep or was just trying to block out the pain.

 

Smiling sleepily, “exhausted, Sweetie” Root confirms.

 

Shaw nods before asking further, “pain level, out of 10, 10 being extreme?”

 

“5” Root confirms as she continues to look dreamily at Shaw.

 

Moving down to kiss Root, Shaw proceeds to kiss down Root's chest. Kissing Root and stopping just under her belly button.  Pulling away, Shaw kneels by Root's legs. Taking hold of Root's legs, Shaw bends them at the knee to help open out Root's entrance. Taking a towel, Shaw pushes it under Root's lower back before smoothing it down under her bum and towards her knees. Just in time as a little more blood trickles out from Root.

 

Root continues to close her eyes, resting as Shaw examines her.  Relaxed, Root fights as she drifts in and out, on the verge of sleep.

 

Shaw then grabs the pen light and proceeds to examine Root's stitches. Checking the perineum, Shaw sees that the bruising has now healed fully, there wasn't even an angry red mark to indicate that there had been any injury there. Satisfied with the external healing, Shaw ducks her head further down and in towards Root's entrance. Shining the pen light into Root, Shaw peers inside. Grabbing a bit of jelly and rubbing it onto her fingers, Shaw reaches in with a finger and presses lightly on a side of Root's vaginal wall.

 

“Aaa...” Root grimaces and jerks sleepily at the touch, confirming to Shaw that that area was inflamed.

 

Continuing to check around the vaginal opening, of what Shaw could see, the stitches inside had already dissolved, but the tissue surrounding the healing wounds were dark red, some parts the skin had broken. This must have been where the blood was coming from, Shaw deduces, aggravated by friction and sex.

 

“How about here Root?” Shaw asks as she touches and places a little pressure on an inflammed area before pulling her finger out of Root.

 

As Shaw retreated her finger she didn't need a verbal response from Root as she sees both a spot of blood on her finger, and watches Root's body jerk even more violently before, "sssss........."  As Root inhales the pain.  

 

As Root props herself up and looks down her body at Shaw, “just inflamed, stitches all dissolved, you're healing nicely. This, however,” as Shaw uses her eyes to point at their naked bodies, “will have to wait”

 

Pouting in disappointment, “Sameeeeen.....” Root yearns as her eyelids drope, nearly completely closed, more than ready for sleep.

 

Chuckling, Shaw drops her body on the bed beside Root and pulls the duvet over the both of them. “Sleep” Shaw instructs as she lets Root curl up into her.

 

 

 

 

“WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

 

And Root and Shaw are jerked violently from their peacefully deep sleep. Only as they struggle to regain consciousness again do they realise just how well they had both been sleeping just then, and how exhausted they both still were.

 

“Hhmmm.... Hhmmm” As Root mock cries and sways her body a little. Even though she was deaf in one ear, with Harry's high pitched and ferociously loud crying, one ear was all she needed to feel that she wasn't deaf at all.  Struggling to peel open any eye lid, Root feels a kiss on her shoulder before the bed shakes as Shaw get up from the bed.

 

Striding over to retrieve Harry, and trying to wipe the sleep from her own eyes as she did so, Shaw quickly bundles him out of the room to feed him.

 

\---

 

Waking herself as she stirs, Root fights to try open her eyes as her eyelids flutter and fight against her in fierce opposition. Defeated, Root falls back to sleep....

 

Sometime later, Root stirs and wakes herself again, this time managing to open her eyes to a slit and peer beside her. No Shaw. Lazily turning around with a hugh sigh, Root peers into the side sleeper, no Harry. Slowly registering the meaning of the two pieces of information, Root intended to get up and check on the pair, only she falls back asleep again.  The quietness was just too overwhelming for Root to resist.  

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

_\----------- 'To make amends you come back in,'_

 

 

Slowly waking in satisfaction, though her body was still tired, it felt good to have a solid good night's rest, which meant Shaw must have been up with Harry all morning. In confirmation Root sees that Shaw and Harry were still not in their beds by her side, but there was a box of painkillers and a glass of water with a lid over it sitting on the bedside table for her. Closing her eyes, Root's heart instantly warms at the thought of Shaw's thoughtfulness. Root continues to rest a bit more before moving, a _long_ time later.

 

Slowly pushing the nursery door open. Root hears the baby gadget playing out and filling the room with womb and heart beat noises. Shaw was fast sleep in the nursery chair while Harry was lying swaddled in her lap, an arm draped across him to stop him from falling as he too continues sleeping.

 

Root closes the door softly and turns the heat up a little more as she walks to Shaw. She spots a piece of paper lying on Shaw's chest, _'she must have finally opened the letter'_ Root deduces before picking it up and sitting on the rug in front of the heater to read it.

 

 

 

_Dearest Sameen,_

 

_There are so many things I want to say to you, so much I need to say to you, but in the end only one thing matters, that I am sorry. I left you and you bore the consequences of my bad choices. I'm sorry, truly, more than you'll ever know. Sorry that I was not a stronger person. I lack courage, courage to face you, courage to apologise to you in person. I write this in hope that you may someday receive it, not to forgive me for me, but for your own peace of mind, but after seeing you today in the park with your new son... I need not have worried at all._

 

_I am thankful that you are not like me. You are strong, yet gentle, fierce yet funny, just like your father. I hear from others that you have a wife. I do not judge nor offer you my opinion on life. I gave away that right with you a long time ago, but as a traditional woman I do not understand your choice. If nothing else, these last few years have taught me to keep an open mind, and so with that I hope that one day you will teach me why._

 

_I look forward to the day should we speak again. In the meanwhile I wish you all the happiness I could not give you, and continue to pray for you and you're family my darling girl._

 

_From someone who doesn't deserve you,_

_S_

 

 

Finishing the letter, Root frowns into it before seeing Shaw's eyes on her and quickly smiles again. “Morning Sweetie, did you manage to get any more sleep?”

  
“How long have you known?” Shaw asks quietly, void of expression.

 

“She started tracking Se......” Root stops before saying Shaw's mother's name, not sure how Shaw would take it. Even as an expert in Shaw, Root was struggling to read Shaw right now.... “When that woman started searching for a link between Dr Turing and Sameen Shaw, She tried to tell me” as Root points to the baby cam in the room to indicate The Machine. As the cam was online Root knew The Machine was recording and watching them. “But Harry here decided that it was also time to meet you.” Pausing, Root stands and walks over to Shaw. Dropping her smile and squeezing Shaw's shoulder, “I personally spotted her outside the community garden on one of our walks” as Root finishes looking at Harry, making sure she wasn't speaking too loudly and was stirring him.

 

The speaking stops for a while … _Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud...... Sssslosssh.... Ssssslosssh..... Duuum.... Duuum......_ As the sloshing water sounds of the womb and heart beats from the baby gadget takes over the room once again......

 

 

“I know you and Reese went to confront her”

 

“Sameen....”

 _  
_ “I'm” Shaw cuts in, “not angry”

 

Root closes her mouth and curls her lips inwards moistening them before unrolling them again. “Outside the ice cream...”

  
“I knew” Shaw admits.

 

Root watches as Shaw looks away after the admittance, prompting Root to leave the subject.

 

After a few more moments of silence.......

 

“You know,” Shaw looks up, once again breaking the silence, “these sounds are creepy”

 

Breaking out into a small smile, Root tilts her head and looks adoringly down at Shaw. “So.... What are you going to do?” Root finally ventures, delicately.

 

Looking between Harry and Root, “I don't know yet.”

 

“Well, you don't have to make any decisions right now” as Root brushes through Shaw's hair with her hand. “Are you tired, Sweetie?” Root asks as Shaw leans into Root's hand as Root gently starts massaging Shaw's head. “You should try get some sleep” Root suggests as she leans down and takes Harry slowly off Shaw's lap, careful not to wake him.

 

Exhaling in relief, “thank God, these creepy sounds are also making me want to pee” as Shaw jumps up and exits the room for the bathroom.

 

Chuckling softly and watching Shaw leave hastily, that's her firecracker, as Root continues to sway Harry in her arms. He was such an angel when asleep, Root thinks before, “please keep sleeping my baby, Mommy's enjoying the peace” she pleads in a soft whisper before taking her book off the top of the book shelf and settling into the nursery chair herself.

 

 

_\---_

 

_Coffee shop, Midtown:_

 

 

“Vrrrrooooooooom......” As a little blonde haired boy runs around behind Iris and then Root before stopping on their table, “vroom, vroom....” The little boy continues to play as he places his toy car on the table and pushes it forward and towards Root.

 

Putting down her mug of tea, “that's a cool car, are you a Nascar driver?” Iris asks as she peers down at the little boy in his Nascar outfit.

 

With his mouth slightly open, he nods and lifts the car and shows it to the both of them.

 

“Ooooh, blue, I like that colour too” Root confirms.

 

“I'm... Gonna be, mmmmumber 1 when I grow up!” He beams and grins, bearing all his teeth. Root and Iris could only visibly see four teeth as the surrounding ones have yet to grow out and the rest are hidden at the back of the mouth.

 

“Jacob!” A man in the far corner shouts, “stop disturbing those ladies, come back here!” He orders.

 

“Bye!” Jacob shouts and waves absent mindedly at Root and Iris before running back to the man, presumably his father.

 

 

Turning her attention back to Root and addressing the issue at hand, “what do you think she wants?” Before stopping and shaking her head laughing at herself, “I mean, after all these years, what has changed?” Iris finishes clarifying.

 

Shaking her head, “we're not sure. She wouldn't tell me, and Shaw is refusing to see her.”

 

 

\---

 

“I want.....” Gen ponders as she continually pokes her chin with her finger while browsing through the cake display, “that one!” Gen finally decides as she points at the indulgently thick chocolate fudge cheesecake.

 

Shaw nods at the assistant behind the counter and he moves to grab a plate and tongs to retrieve the cake.

 

Grinning and beaming at Shaw, Gen moves closer and hugs Shaw. “I love you, Ma” she offers.

 

Looking down at Gen and shaking her head, their moment is broken by, “anything else Ma'am?” As the assistant returns with the cake and places it on the tray. Seeing Shaw shake her head, “OK” as he rings up the order, “that will be.......”

 

\---

 

 

“Are we.......” As Iris looks to Root for some guidance, “encouraging, contact?”

 

With a solemn nod of the head, “I think at the very least Sameen should talk to her” Root adds.

 

Nodding, Iris and Root's attention is then diverted as the cafe door opens all too loudly and two guys, one wearing a hat and glasses while the other is in a black suit, walks in with a whining babe, held by the one in the suit.

 

 

Reese is perplexed as he frowns and looks down at Harry, who continues to cry softly.

 

“Let me try, Mr Reese” Finch offers with an innocent smile.

 

Looking sideways at Finch, “nice try, Finch” as Reese cradles Harry away and towards the women.

 

As Reese does so a stranger about to exit carrying her take away coffee and croissant stops him in his tracks, “awwww, he's so cute” she stops and pauses, oogling at Harry as he now giggles and makes wide cute eyes with the stranger. “How old is he?”

 

“Uh....” As Reese looks up trying to work it out.

 

“Six weeks” Finch interjects.

 

“Six weeks, and you're taking him out already?” As the stranger let's Harry take her finger, “you're so adorable, you're gonna be a lady killer when you're older!” She compliments Harry before looking up and seeing Finch standing off Reese's shoulder. “Oh.....” As she looks between the two of them. “Well” as the stranger regains herself and offers genuinely, “congratulations to you both” before looking down at Harry one last time and reluctantly takes her finger back from him, “I'll see you later hansom” as she winks at Harry and leaves.

 

Reese moves to the side to let the woman by and watches her leave.

 

“Well.....” as Finch clears his throat and walks towards Root and Iris, who are now chuckling at their expense. As Finch reaches the table, “ladies” he greets as he takes off his hat and jacket and places them on the back of his seat before sitting down.

 

Leaning in towards him, “I have my eye on you, Finch” Iris teases.

 

Root smiles as she watches Iris make Finch squirm, before her attention is back on Harry as Reese sits by her.

 

“Aaaaaaaa” as Harry spots his Mommy and wriggles to reach out for her. “Ehhh... Ehh...” As he continues to call stretching his arms forward for Root and kicking his legs into Reese's chest, “aaaaaa, aaaa....”

 

“OK, Harry, I'm starting to take this personally now” Reese complains as Harry continues to ignore him.

 

This was enough to make Shaw stand and laugh at Reese for a little while longer before sitting down on the sofa, “good boy Harry, keep kicking, you're doing a great job” Shaw encourages as she looks over to Reese and smirks.

 

As Reese glares back at Shaw the two continue their usual glaring battle.

 

Gen in the meanwhile jumps down next to Shaw on the sofa, bumping into Shaw as she sinks into the seat and tucks heartily into her cheesecake.

  
Root and Iris exchange a look between them and are interrupted just as Harry cries again and, “Finch, what is it so urgent you need me to 911 it over here?” Fusco asks gruffly in annoyance before, “oh, look who it is” as Fusco turns and looks at Harry.

 

“Ababa.... Aa, aa, aa.....” Harry gurgles as he spots Fusco.

 

Snorting, Shaw watches as Reese diverts his glare onto Fusco.

 

Puffing out a surrendering breath, “I give up” and hands Harry up to Fusco.

 

Laughing, “you just don't have the magic touch do ya, tough guy” Fusco continues to tease as Reese sits huffing.

 

“Kkkeee, kee, aaaaah” Harry squeals happily as Fusco makes rasping sounds with his tongue close to his face.

 

“Ah, Detective” Finch interrupts....

 

Fusco turns around to find Finch now standing with his hat and jacket back on.

 

“We have business to attend to....”

 

“Ah, right” Fusco acknowledges before turning back to Harry, “and I will see you later junior puffs” as he returns him to Shaw, as she was closer, before Gen stands and takes him instead.

 

Shaw watches Gen cradle and play with her little brother while Finch leaves the cafe with Fusco.

 

 

As time moves on and Iris looks at her watch, “OK, I have a client to go see now, Gen?”

 

“Aaaw...” As Gen looks up from Harry, who is now sleeping, “really?”

  
“Really!” Shaw confirms firmly before watching Gen pout as she hands Harry back to her and puts on her jacket.

 

Smiling, “come on, school isn't that bad?” Iris consoles.

 

“Not bad? What school did you go to?” Gen fires back as the two now head for the door.

 

Iris' client was close to Gen's school and so Iris had offered to take Gen back to campus before meeting her client. Root watches them leave.

 

The three now sit and look at each other, before Root and Reese leave their eyes on Shaw.

 

“Don't” Shaw warns.

 

Reese starts anyway, “you want me to help with.....” Before stopping and completes his sentence via the motion of his hand moving horizontally across his throat.

 

“I said don't” Shaw confirms in annoyance.

 

“Suit yourself” Reese shrugs, “but don't say I didn't offer” continuing to tease.

 

Giving Reese the disapproving look, Shaw adds, “she's still my Mom, Reese, better or worse so no.... We can't take her out.....”

 

The corner of Root's lips start to curl upwards slightly, still looking at Shaw.

 

“What?!” Shaw spits out grumpily at Root.

 

“You called her Mom, Sameen” as Root stops hiding her widening smile and points out the obvious.

  
Rolling her eyes, Shaw looks away from Root and catches Reese, “oh for crying out... Not you too!” Shaw complains as she spots a slight smile on Reese's face.

 

“Come on, you clearly want to” as Reese calls Shaw out.

 

Taking a moment and inhaling a deep annoyed breath, “fine!” Shaw finally surrenders.

 

\---

 

Stopping the SUV in the parking lot next to the playground in the park Shaw looks out the window towards the woman. She was sitting on the turnabout talking to the children who are spinning her around it.

 

Root sits in the back seat and looks between Shaw and her Mom via the back window. All the while Harry continues sleeping in his baby carrier.

 

Shaw turns her head back towards Reese, who was in the driving seat, and glares at him.

 

Reese shrugs, “don't kill the messenger. She said she would be here and that she would wait regardless...... ”

 

 

_Sitting on the park bench, Seda watches as Sameens squats down in the middle of the turnabout while her husband runs around the outside spinning it._

 

_Gaining enough speed he jumps on and holds on, “whooooooaaaa........” He shouts as he feels himself get dizzy._

 

_Giggling, “faster Dad, faster!” Sameen encourages as she watches her Dad stumble back off the turnabout and pushes it faster as he runs around the outside spinning it._

 

 

 _'Sameen..........'_ As Seda is lost in thought. Seeing Sameen in the short distance, that giggling, laughing, happy little girl. Her husband still alive, their family..... Seda spots an adult version of someone who looks like Sameen walking towards her, getting closer. Snapping from her reminisce Seda jolts as she realises that the adult stalking towards her _is_ Sameen. Quickly stumbling off the turnabout, a little dizzy, Seda tries to walk towards Shaw. “Thank you for comin.....”

 

Watching the woman stumble but ignoring it, “is this a joke?” Shaw confronts straight off the bat.

 

Confused, Seda looks at Shaw in confusion.

 

“Coming here, of all places” Shaw furthers.

 

Seda's mouth is once again hanging open but no words emit from it....

 

As the silence between them drags on it starts to become a little too awkward and uncomfortable and Seda looks to the side towards the man in the suit, who has now reached and is standing close to Shaw, for some guidance.

 

“Don't look at him” Shaw snaps, “you're the one who wanted to meet. Speak!”

 

“Hem...... Hem.....” As Reese clears his throat, “Ma'am” Reese acknowledges before walking further away from the pair to give them a wider berth of privacy, but still remaining close enough to keep an eye on Shaw.

 

“You look..... Good, strong like you're father. He was always the strong one...” Seda starts to venture.

 

“So that gave you the excuse to leave, Dad was the strong one, you're not?!” Shaw cuts in her voice raised slightly further in anger.

 

Swallowing, this was going much harder than thought. “I didn't mean it like...”

 

“So what do you mean it like, what do you want?” Shaw demands impatiently.

 

“To know that you're OK” Seda answers quickly.

 

“I'm fine, I'm more than fine. I'm greeeat!” Shaw spits forcefully, “now that you see it for yourself up close and personal....” Shaw turns her back and starts walking away from Seda.

 

Straightening her posture as her eyes widen, Seda panics as she watches Shaw begin to walk away, “wait....” She calls in hope.

 

Shaw stops but keeps her back to Seda...... Turning her head back towards Seda, Shaw continues to hear nothing, which makes her angrier and starts to walk again...

 

“I'm sorry” Seda offers not knowing what else to say without setting Shaw off. “You're Gran mama is, was, a great woman, I knew that she would take care of you”

 

Saying that most certainly didn't help as Shaw spins around so quickly and strides back towards Seda. Upon reaching her Shaw pushes her a finger up towards her, “don't you dare!” Shaw seethes... “She had _no_ _**choice**_.”

 

Seda couldn't help but be hurt looking at Shaw staring back at her with such anger, hatred even.

 

Panting heavily, Shaw fights to calm herself as she slowly balls her fingers into her palms and takes a couple steps back away from Seda.

 

Seda watches as Shaw's chest rises violently, then falls again just as abruptly. But that action slows, along with Shaw's breathing.

 

In a low and cold tone, “did you know she died of cancer?”

 

Hesitatingly, Seda nods twice.

 

“She died, in pain. We had no money” Shaw spits and aches at the memory “in pain” Shaw repeats as the memory begins to stir up more emotions, emotions that Shaw didn't even know were there.

 

“Is that why you became a Doctor?” Seda asks genuinely, “to save those you couldn't before?”

 

This question stops Shaw in her tracks, she had never thought of it that way before, but that may have been one reason why. Now it was Shaw's turn to not know what to say and how to reply....

 

“I'm..... Sorry” Seda offers.

  
“Stop saying that! Is that all you have to say?”

 

“I didn't know how to... You were _so_ difficult, different even. And now...” As she turns to look at Root, who is now standing next to Shaw and holding a sleeping Harry in her arms, “this.”

 

Shaw's voice hits a whole octave higher, Root not even realising Shaw's voice could pitch that high, “what?! Be with someone who loves me. Who wants to be with me! Someone who is there, standing right here, beside me!” Shaw steps forward up to her mother's face, her eyes wide and wild with fury.

 

Too late to regret what was said, Seda's mouth hangs open not knowing how to calm the situation. This wasn't why she was here. This wasn't going according to plan, it was much much worse.

 

“How dare you! Why are you here, to make me feel like shxt all over again?” Shaw pauses, watching as her mother retreats, “why are you here?!” Shaw demands.

 

“I wanted to mend things with you...”

 

“By blaming me for your actions?”

 

“I...”

 

“For insulting my wife?!”

 

With those words Root's concern alerts into overdrive as she watches Shaw bear down so hard with her body language on her mother, hands clearly clenched in a ball, her entire body shaking. Shaw's eyes were so laser focused it continued to bore holes in her mother's eyes while her body seethes as the chest and shoulders rose and fell quickly and mightily in aggression. Taking a step forward and standing between Shaw and her mom, Root pushes Harry into Shaw's arms and gazes into Shaw's wild eyes. As Root slowly regains Shaw's attention, Root lifts her hands and cups Shaw's jaw just under her chin, and massages Shaw's cheek with her thumbs.

 

Shaw flinches at the contact, the warm and gentle touch. It was enough to snap Shaw from her blind fury as Shaw reconnects with Root as she curls her arms further around Harry's small body as he continues to cry. Shaw had awoken him with her aggression and so she hugs him close to her chest, both comforting each other. Fighting hard to calm herself, Shaw finally does as Harry's cries also die down.

 

Seeing Shaw's eyes start to unglaze and connect with her again, “Sameen” as they both continue to gaze at each other....

 

Seconds more pass before they acknowledge each other in a nod, then turn and head for home, Reese following as he also turns away from Seda.

 

Watching her child walk away again Seda drops her head, all pride long vanished, and watches Shaw disappear from her sight once again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

 

_\----------- 'only not to say goodbye, again'_

 

 

Emotions, Root always knew Shaw had them, as she watches Shaw pace up and down the sidewalk not wanting to bring her anger back into the house.

 

Standing on the top step in front of her front door, “well, that didn't go so well” Root states.

 

Tilting his head slightly up at Root before, “better...... Than expected” Reese replies while also lifting his brows, “actually”

 

Root turns to look down at Reese. Reese, who was standing on a step half way up the stairs to the front door.

 

“I thought she would at least throw a punch” Reese half jokes, half serious in thought. “What do you want to do now?” Reese asks as they both watch Shaw cross the street and stomp down the other side of the sidewalk.

 

It was clear Shaw was trying to calm herself down as she hunches her shoulders and clenches her fists before releasing them again. Shaw knew that Harry, though he didn't understand, would still continue to sense her anger, and so Shaw stopped herself from returning to the house. At least until she calmed down.

 

Placing a hand on Reese's shoulder, “I've got it from here” Root confirms as she lifts her hand and watches Reese stand upright again and straighten his jacket.

 

With a slight smile, Reese then walks back down towards the parked SUV.

 

“John,” Root calls, stopping Reese from leaving. As he turns around to look back up at her, “thanks” Root appreciates genuinely.

 

With a further nod in acknowledgement, Reese climbs back into his SUV and drives off.

 

\---

 

Finished changing Harry, Root carries her now asleep son back to the bedroom. Pushing open the door...

 

Leaning her head into her clasped hands Shaw sits solemnly, feeling nothing. Then a tear falls from her eye, followed by another, and another.

 

Root returns and stands by the end of the bed before stopping abruptly and pausing. Pausing and watching an overwhelmingly lonely figure in a vastly hollow room grieving. Watching as Shaw cries silently. No sound, no sniffling, no movement. Shedding tears that Shaw herself didn't know were there.

 

Shaking herself from her shock Root takes the remaining steps forward and grabs Shaw, one arm round her body, the other round Shaw's head, pulling Shaw towards her, enveloping her. Root continues to embrace Shaw more tightly, her body tensing, her muscles squeezing hard, her own emotions screaming... If only this was enough to shield Shaw from her pain.

 

Inside every child there is a box, placed there by their parent. If you had more than one then you were considered lucky, or not. Either way, only a parent can open this box again. Inside each box harbours the lessons that only the parent has left behind. In a good home this can include love and security. In a not so good one, inside, it may include love but there is a whole lot of baggage. Because of the baggage, to rebuild will always be a slow and painful process for parent and child.

 

Continuing to embrace Shaw, Root feels the last of Shaw's tears fall and slowly trickle down the exposed skin on her chest before it's absorbed by the fabric of her shirt. Shaw's silence was deafening as Root's heart breaks....

 

 

Guiding Shaw gently into the bed, Root draws the blanket over Shaw's shoulders as she lays down beside her. Root continues to watch over Shaw as she finally sleeps, and is reluctantly torn away as Harry shifts in his cot and shakes it. Wriggling some more, he then starts to cry.

 

Hearing this, Root quickly jumps out of bed and scoops Harry from his cot and takes him towards the nursery, cooing and soothing her son. It was feeding time again as Harry continues to wriggle, then yawns, before starting to cry again.

 

“Sssshhh, Harry, mommy's here, don't cry baby. Mama is sad, you need to be a good boy” she continues to soothe as she sits down onto the nursery chair and prepares to feed him....

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

_Childhood, distance past:_

 

_Sameen watches as her mother wriggles her hand free of her and starts to walk away, never to look back....._

 

_Watching her Mom walk and then finally disappearing, Sameen continues to stand on the side walk, not moving. Still standing on the porch, Sameen's Gran mama finally calls on her to return back to the house, it was getting bitterly cold as the flakes of snow begin to fall and the sky turns darker. But Sameen still doesn't move._

 

“ _Mama?...” Sameen hears herself saying softly but out loud._

_  
The snow starts to fall heaver as the temperature dips even further. In a panic, as Sameen didn't even have a jacket on, Gran mama walks hastily down the street to her. Reaching her, Gran mama turns Sameen around and pauses.... Looking down into her grand child's face, a blank expression returns her gaze. Taken aback, Sameen's expression was odd for sure, Gran mama had expected at some sort of sadness if not tears, but now was not the time to dote on small details as Gran mama regains her focus and bundles Sameen back towards the house, “come on, Sweetheart” Gran mama soothes, “it's cold, let's go back inside and we can make some hot chocolate. You can wait for your Mom there too, I'm sure she'll be back soon....” Gran mama lies knowingly, curling an arm around Sameen's shoulder and continuing to gently pushing Sameen towards the house. Maybe She is just in shock, as Gran mama continues to justify Sameen's reaction, or a lack of one._

 

 

_'Mama?....... [W]hen are you coming back?.......'_

 

_\---_

 

_Seda's studio apartment, very early morning:_

 

 

Seda had been up all night, again, as the meeting with Sameen continued to play through her head like a music video stuck on loop. With each repeat the scene distrorts and changes a little, but the long entrenched painful memories were still there each time, resurface again and again....

 

 

_Wriggling her hand free from Sameen's hold, Seda starts to walk away, never to look back. As she rounds the corner Seda stops and clenches her fists._

_'Seda, what are you doing?' As her own conscious starts to attack, 'turn back!'......_

_' I can't do this' as the other side of her mind fights back against herself......._

_'You're not doing the right thing!..... Turn back, it's not too late!'_

 

_Closing her eyes Seda is caught between indecision as regret, fear, anger, and pain takes over..... 'Everything just hurts... I can't go back, I can't do this.....'_

_Seda doesn't register that it has started snowing as she continues to stomp off determined. As she does so she also subconsciously shivers, prompting her to curl her arms around herself for comfort, or was it for warmth, she wasn't sure. Nothing was clear to Seda anymore...._

 

_\---_

 

“ _Ma'am?”_

 

_As Seda peers up at the man behind the reception counter, confused._

 

“ _Ma'am, can I help you, do you need shelter?” A tall bearded and aging man asks looking down at her solemnly. “Are you alright?” He asks further in concern at Seda's forlorn expression. Stepping from behind the counter and walking around to now stand in front of Seda, “Ma'am, whatever it is we don't judge here” he reassures waiting for some sort of reply._

 

_Nodding, “I..... Need a place to stay” Seda finally confirms._

 

“ _Yes,” the bearded man acknowledges, “we have a free bed only, no separate rooms now, particularly it being December and it's getting colder now, you know?” He offers._

 

“ _O... OK” Seda accepts._

 

_Moving back behind the desk the bearded man retrieves a form, “I'll need to see some ID. Please don't worry, we need to register you for our shelter's records, it won't be used in any other way.” Watching as Seda fumbles for some ID, the man continues “Males and females are in separate areas here, and there are supervisors on duty for your safety. As a courtesy to others we ask that you be as quiet as possible in the bedrooms. There are common areas which you will be able to use, I'll show these to you once we register you here....”_

 

_\---_

 

Bang, bang, pop, pop, ffzzzzzz.......

 

_Looking out and up, Seda spots fireworks going off in the background, high in the sky._

 

_Laughing but not finding it funny, “happy new year? What's so happy about this?”_

 

_Seda turns her head to the eyes also sitting on a cardboard box but wrapped tight in an old, worn, dirty and very used sleeping bag under a bridge full of glass, rubbish, abandoned broken shop trolleys, rubble, needles and drug paraphernalia to name a few._

 

“ _You just wait, I'll have my own house one day, my own family” she continues to curse at no one and nothing in particular, feeling sorry for herself because life dealt her a rotten hand. “Just you wait” she spits again to Seda before turning around to lay back down and pulling the sleeping bag over her head._

 

_Watching her temporary neighbour lay back down, Seda then returns her gaze back up at the sky. Staring at the quiet stars, Seda's mind was far gone from the place she was now sitting......._

 

 

\----

 

_Turing Family Home, late morning:_

 

 

As Shaw's memory continues to echo in her head haunting her, ' _Mama.... [A]_ _re you coming back?.......'_

 

 

With one belly happily fed, Root wanders into the open living space cradling Harry, who's head is flopped onto Root's chest and looking back up at her, examining her. Root was now in search of food for herself. Catching a glimpse of Shaw, Root stops moving towards the kitchen and watches as Shaw continues to sit looking aimlessly out the window from the window seat.

 

“Woof” Bear greets as he nudges into Root's leg.

 

The bark and subsequent squeal from Harry at Bear's call alerts Shaw of their presence as it breaks Shaw from her trip down memory lane. Slowly blinking, Shaw's attention was finally returned back to the room.

 

“Morning, Bear” Root greets as she pats him on the head.

  
“Woof,” satisfied, Bear wanders back onto his dog bed in the corner next to the radiator and lays down again.

 

Spring has arrived as the birds start to flutter around the slow defrosting trees still trying to shake the last of the winter frost from it's bark.

 

Walking over to Shaw, Root kisses Shaw on the head. “You hungry, Sweetie?” Root asks continuing to looks down onto the top of Shaw's head and then catching the screen of Shaw's phone, placed next to Shaw on the window seat, light up. The Machine proceeds to tell Root the message she had just sent to Shaw, _'Seda has booked a one way ticket back to Iran, leaving tomorrow noon.'_

 

“Aaaaah” Harry calls as he reaches out and grabs Shaw's ear.

 

Shaw just continues to look at Root via the reflection in the window.

  
“Eh?” Harry tries calling again.

 

Again, Shaw only blinks slowly in reaction.

 

Gently clasping Harry's hand and moving it away from Shaw's ear, Root smiles down at their son, “Harry, Mama needs more alone time. Let's you and I go make eggs” Root suggests as if he would understand.

 

As Root takes a step away, she finds herself being pulled back by the elbow.

 

Stumbling back at the sudden obstruction, Root lands on top of Shaw's lap.

 

Shaw looks over at Root, gazing at her, clearly _still_ lost. Shaw had always been Root's emotional crutch, it was rare and highly unexpected for Root to still find herself in this position.

 

Smiling against Shaw's looming sadness, Root leans forward and starts kissing Shaw. A peck on the lips, the cheek, the nose....

 

Having enough of Root's teasing, Shaw cups a hand on Root's jaw and gently pulls her in for a full kiss on the lips. Opening their mouths they continue to suck and do battle with their tongues indulging in the moment.

 

Not to be forgotten, Harry reaches out and slaps Shaw on the neck and chin, “aaaaaa!” He grumbles displeased at being ignored.

 

Shaw stops kissing as Root chuckles and pulls away.

 

Looking down at their son, “oh no!” Shaw comments flatly as she continues gazing at Harry, prompting Root to lift her brow's questioningly. As Harry's back is to Root, Shaw takes Harry from her and turns him around to face Root. “Look what you've done!” Shaw complains.

 

Now seeing what Shaw was seeing, a wide grin accompanied by silent laughing instantly follows.

 

“This isn't funny” Shaw deadpans even though she was anything but calm.

 

“I think it's adorable” Root comments as she dabs Harry on the cheek with her finger. “Aren't you adorable Harry? Yes he is! Yes he is!” Root continues to tease both Harry and Shaw.

 

Harry's pout instantly changes to a giggle and squeal as he follows Root's finger to and from his cheek, reaching out to try grab it with his hands.

 

Finished laughing, Root gets up from Shaw's lap to go make breakfast, leaving Harry with Shaw.

 

 

Standing Harry up on her lap and turning him back around to face her, Shaw looks straight into Harry's eyes. “Pouting is bad kiddo, don't pout.”

 

“Aaaaaaa” Harry squeals happily and giggles.

  
“No Harry, this isn't a laughing matter, it's serious” Shaw tries to reinforce, “you don't want to learn your Mom's bad habits, it's bad for your health” Shaw furthers. “So no pouting, OK buddy?”

 

“Woof!” As Bear gets up from his bed and runs over to Shaw upon hearing the word _'buddy'_. Now sitting down beside her on the floor, Bear looks up at Shaw and Harry.

 

“No....” As Shaw looks from Harry to Bear, “no, not you, Bear” Shaw tries to correct, “I was talking to Harry here” as she looks back at Harry before back at Bear, who is now peering at her with his head tilted in confusion and whining. Seeing the tilt, “Bear, not you too!”

 

“Woof!” Bear pants and hangs his tongue out in excitement as he brushed the floor with his tail.

 

“Keeekekee” as Harry gurgles, his eyes continuing to widen with his smile.

 

Sighing in defeat, “uuuuuugh.....” Shaw gets up and cradles Harry to the kitchen. Bear follows beside Shaw until he spots Root in the kitchen and scampers off excitedly towards her instead.

 

“Woof, woof! Woof, woof” as he reaches Root and eyes the food on the counter top.

 

“Aaaaaaaaa” as Harry spots his Mommy and wriggles to reach out for her.

 

Turning around Root sees Bear standing beside her, Harry waving his arms at her squealing and Shaw now glaring at her.

 

Shrugging as she catches Shaw's glare, “what?” Root asks innocently and smiles, “can I help I'm loved?...”

 

 

\----

 

_Swim Center, East Village:_

 

 

“Sweetie, you need to go”

 

Shaw turns her head to the right and catches Root just looking at her. Shaw then turns her head to the back seat, Harry greeting her with a smile and giggle. ' _How is that kid always happy?'_

 

Cupping Shaw's chin with her hand and turning Shaw's attention back to her, Root continues, “we love you, but you need to go. We'll still be here when you get back.” Root then opens the door and gets out the SUV. Gathering the swim bag and taking Harry with his carrier, “come on sweetheart” Root coos as she kisses Harry, “Mama will be back to collect us later. We're gonna go for a swim now....”

 

Shaw sits for a moment longer just watching Root and Harry walk away and into the swim center. Sucking in a deep breath and squeezing the wheel, Shaw exhales slowly before starting the engine again. Finished exhaling and letting the grip on the wheel loosen, Shaw drives off.

 

 

\---

 

_JKF International Airport, departure security gate:_

 

 

“That's it, you're just going to leave, again? Unbelievable!” Shaw rants disgusted as Seda turns around to see Shaw standing there behind her.

 

No time to even ask how Shaw managed to get through to the security side of the airport, “I.... After what happened a couple days ago I didn't think you..”

 

“No.... You never think about anyone but you! What? Too much for you to handle the consequences so you bail, again! How much more of a coward....” Before Shaw clenches her fists and stops, taking a deep breath, pausing, and then exhaling again, Shaw works on calming herself down as other passengers around them start to look at them. Shaw needed to calm down before you alerted the security staff.

 

“I'm sorry” Seda offers, “I'm sorry, I _really_ am” she repeats quickly again, making sure Shaw knew that she meant it for _all_ her decisions.

 

Shaw finally manages to soften her hardened gaze as she gains control of her anger. “You left me”

 

“I know” Seda admits as she steps forward and tries to place a hand on Shaw's cheek, only Shaw shuns away by moving her head away from Seda's hand and taking a step back. Disappointed but understandable, Seda stops, steps back and drops her arm again. “If there is anything I can....”

 

“Time” Shaw cuts in abruptly and sharply.

 

Narrowing her eyes slightly in confusion, Seda waits for Shaw to continue.

  
“Time,” Shaw repeats again sharply, as she takes another deep breath before speaking, “I can't look at you right now...... Maybe, time...”

 

“I will wait!” Seda cuts in quickly and anxiously as she grabs onto Shaw's short olive branch. Rummaging in her bag and grabbing her notepad and pen, “please” as she tears the piece of paper and hands it to Shaw, “when you are ready, I will wait” as Seda offers a slight smile, the corners of her mouth curling up slightly, “I will wait” as her eyes soften, urges and pleads to Shaw.

 

With her fists still clenched, Shaw continues to stare at Seda.... Before finally forcing herself to take the piece of paper.

 

Seda drops the corners of her mouth and nods solemnly, _'Sameen has every right to be angry'_. An awkward silence follows before Seda realises that Shaw wasn't going to say anything else. With that Seda closes her bag and picks up her trolley case, “I hope I will see you again” and turns to walk through the security gate and down the boarding tunnel to her flight.

 

Shaw remains standing as she watches the figure of Seda disappearing. Scrunching up and pushing the piece of paper into her palm, Shaw exhales the breath she didn't realise she was holding and instantly feels her heart beat increase with the heightening adrenaline now running through her entire body. The airport may have been busy this afternoon, but Shaw saw nothing but red....

 

\---

 

A large Boeing plane flies over Shaw as she looks up briefly to watch it lift higher into the sky, the speed of sound catching up just behind the airplane and erupting through the sky above her. As the plane coarses through the clouds, the disrupting sound disappears again.

 

Shaw wasn't sure how she felt now, anger was always so strong and easily identifiable. These emotions now were new, and even more confusing.

 

Climbing back into the SUV Shaw drives out the parking lot.

 

 

\---

 

_Swim Center Cafe, East Village:_

 

 

Shaw watches as Root plays with Harry in the busy cafe, they were waiting for her, just as Root had said.

  
“Did Harry enjoy his swim? Did Harry enjoy his swim?” Root teases as she smudges her face into Harry's and making him giggle. “Yes he did..... Yes he did!”

 

Finally looking up, Root spots Shaw standing watching her, prompting Root to smile widely back at Shaw.

 

Walking slowly towards them, continuing to gaze at Root, at that moment Shaw knew... Knew that, after years of having lost her way, everything was going to be okay.  After all she had finally, returned home.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

You never said goodbye

  

You never said goodbye to me

when your spirit just ran free.

You left an empty void inside,

to lose you I lost me.

 

Once a four it's now half,

I did not understand the math.

I know it's hard I lost him too,

but giving up was not a choice.

 

Looking back you regret the past,

but all the damage done has last.

To make amends you come back in,

only not to say goodbye, again.

 


End file.
